What preparations are you making?

[Breakout92]

I want to make sure I don't forget anything important, so I'd like to hear what other people are doing in addition to method prep so I can get ideas. For me it's the following:

For my method (exit bag) I have everything in place except the N2 tank itself. I've made the bag, tested the elastic, and have the flow regulator which I bought online. The flow regulator can't be tested without the gas tank, so unfortunately I won't know for sure that it works, but I think the rest is all set.

I plan on using the exit bag at home in my bed, propped up with pillows so I'm in a reclined sitting position. I'll be fasting and not drinking anything the day of, because I don't want to make a mess.

I live with my parents and siblings (my brother and sister and I all moved back at the start of the pandemic for various reasons). My brother and mom still work in offices outside the home and don't get home until 5 PM most days. My sister and dad and I all work from home. However my sister goes to the gym every day from 3:30 to 5 PM, and my dad always has headphones on and keeps the door to his office closed, so I think he won't hear the hiss from the gas tank. If I start at 4 PM and have a delayed email go to the police at 4:50 requesting someone come to the house and check for me, the officer should be there at just the right time to break the news to everyone.

Outside of the method itself, I have a note written which I will send as a delayed email to a friend and ask him to post it to our group discord so my friends can read it and get closure. I'll also write a note to my parents/siblings which I'll keep on my body when I go.

I don't have a lot of possessions, but I've sold a few things to reduce clutter so there's less for my family to have to go through and throw away when I'm gone. I also keep my room clean all the time anyway, so nobody will have to clean up.

I also wrote out a list that covers the following:

• What I want done with my body (no viewing/funeral, I want to be cremated)
• My bank information so my parents know where my money is. I don't have a lot of money, but I wrote in my letter that I want what I have to go to my parents and siblings.
• Instructions on who to contact at my workplace and where to send my work laptop and notes back. Also my work laptop password so my boss can get anything she needs off of it.

I guess I've done a pretty good job at living minimally like i always wanted because I can't think of anything else that I'll need people to do.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Mine is slightly less advanced:

1. Rope.
2. Knife.
3. Knowledge.

 

[Breakout92]

Mine is slightly less advanced:

1. Rope.
2. Knife.
3. Knowledge.

Simpler can definitely be better. I just like planning because it keeps my mind busy and distracted from my problems.

 

[WornOutLife]

It seems you have a good plan and everything organized.

Last year when I was planning to go with partial after an OD with different pills, I had all the materials I needed and apart from that I left letters for my family, ex friends, my dog and my students.

Basically, I told them what I wanted them to do with my stuff and asked them not to be sad about my death because I was actually very happy with the decision of leaving this world. I even recorded some videos.

I will probably do the same when I decide to try to ctb again.

Btw, my only mistake was not to send a scheduled e-mail to the police so that they could find my body first.

 

[Breakout92]

It seems you have a good plan and everything organized.

Last year when I was planning to go with partial after an OD with different pills, I had all the materials I needed and apart from that I left letters for my family, ex friends, my dog and my students.

Basically, I told them what I wanted them to do with my stuff and asked them not to be sad about my death because I was actually very happy with the decision of leaving this world. I even recorded some videos.

I will probably do the same when I decide to try to ctb again.

Btw, my only mistake was not to send a scheduled e-mail to the police so that they could find my body first.

Videos sound like a great idea, rather than just a note. I just would have to find a good time to record them.

And yes, I think the delayed email to the police is one of the most important parts. I really don't want to traumatize anyone. That was a mistake I would have made on my previous attempt, had I succeeded.

 

[Last chance]

I wrote my notes today,I really struggled saying everything I wanted to say in the right way. Im going to leave them for a couple of days then re-read them to see if there is anything I want to add/take out.

I hadnt thought about what I want done with my body/financial stuff so thanks for mentioning that. Im going to put together a folder on my laptop with all that information in.

 

[Breakout92]

I wrote my notes today,I really struggled saying everything I wanted to say in the right way. Im going to leave them for a couple of days then re-read them to see if there is anything I want to add/take out.

I hadnt thought about what I want done with my body/financial stuff so thanks for mentioning that. Im going to put together a folder on my laptop with all that information in.

That's a good idea I think. I wrote my note for my first attempt in drafts. It was two drafts of typed notes on the computer then I hand wrote the final one. I think it helped clarify my thoughts and i removed some things that I thought would only make the readers feel more sad about me going.

 

[Tarod]

I realize my opinion might not be helpful but I personally wouldn't use the gas method in a house where other people live, you know the gas can displace the oxygen and create a dangerous or even lethal atmosphere for your family, I wouldn't take that risk, I want to kill myself, not others.

 

[Breakout92]

I realize my opinion might not be helpful but I personally wouldn't use the gas method in a house where other people live, you know the gas can display the oxygen and create a dangerous or even lethal atmosphere for your family, I wouldn't take that risk, I want to kill myself, not others.

That is a good point, however I'm not sure where else to do it. I will keep the window open for sure, and perhaps put a sign on my door saying that there is toxic gas inside. Even if that is a lie, it should prevent people from entering unprepared.

With the open window and closed door, it should prevent any significant amount of gas from getting to the rest of the house, I would think.

 

[Tackingintothewind]

If your parents own the house it's also not very nice to them as committing suicide there will devalue the house

 

[Breakout92]

If your parents own the house it's also not very nice to them as committing suicide there will devalue the house

They do own it but don't plan on selling it for a long time. Also, in the state where we live, it's not required to disclose a murder or suicide that occurs on the property, so I think that will be okay.

 

[lofticries]

Nothing but research atm. I do plan to use the exit bag or should I say exit mask method as well. But what I really want is N and might have time to obtain it (however the thought of going to prison if found out is a total mood killer). Jumping and SN are my last methods of choice. They interchange depending on the mood.

I'm not gonna lie hearing that your gonna ctb using the exit bag method makes me nervous with so many people in the house. There was a man who planned to ctb by the exit bag in a hotel but said the hissing noise was so loud he was afraid he'd alert the people staying in the other hotel rooms(he chose to take n instead).

That's why so many don't try this method because it honestly requires you to either have your own living space or be alone for quite a bit of time.

 

[Breakout92]

Nothing but research atm. I do plan to use the exit bag or should I say exit mask method as well. But what I really want is N and might have time to obtain it (however the thought of going to prison if found out is a total mood killer). Jumping and SN are my last methods of choice. They interchange depending on the mood.

I'm not gonna lie hearing that your gonna ctb using the exit bag method makes me nervous with so many people in the house. There was a man who planned to ctb by the exit bag in a hotel but said the hissing noise was so loud he was afraid he'd alert the people staying in the other hotel rooms(he chose to take n instead).

That's why so many don't try this method because it honestly requires you to either have your own living space or be alone for quite a bit of time.

I feel the same way about N. I would love to get it, but I really don't want to risk getting arrested. SN is my backup.

I've worked in a lab environment before that had gas tanks like this - the hissing is loud, but not so loud that I expect anyone could hear it through two doors and 1 floor of the house, plus headphones with music like my dad has. I'm pretty confident that i won't be found for the 20 minutes or so that it takes to ctb. But maybe I will have to rethink things a bit, maybe I'll drive somewhere and try to do it in my car if I can figure out how to prop myself up. I wish I still lived on my own, it would be so much easier.

Edit: maybe I'll test it by buying a helium tank from the party store and seeing how loud it is, if I can hear it with the door closed on the other side of the house.

 

[Bedrock48]

My main preparations has been for other people, I had my sui note and a living will written out but both mysteriously disappeared into my flat some months ago. Hopefully I'll find them one day because the latter is very important. I also have gift bags for my closest friends which I hope get to them in one piece. I've added a few bits of sentimental items and around 400 each in cash (I'm in no way rich, I just don't care to spend much money on myself lmao). I'd love to get the motivation to write individual notes but that takes more mental energy than I have currently. Also gonna tuck a password page into my laptop to make it easier to be sold or passed on to someone.

And then the more obvious preparations with what ever method I've chosen. Plus a note to put on my front door to alert people as I don't want to be left not found for days or weeks. People only pass by my door one once or twice a day so there's little risk of being found early.

It sounds like you've done a good deal or preparation, the note for your group discord is an especially nice touch in my opinion.

 

[Tkmiz_Tsukumizu]

Paying back all of my debts to creditors and debtors, paying my mothers costs for her gravestone.
Leaving a life inheritance for my family and friends. Settling my will and trying to make amends with those I've hurt.

 

[nolongerhuman]

The meto I ordered came in the mail yesterday, which was huge relief to me. I have had discussions with a lawyer about a will but they keep taking a long time to get back to me so I don't know if it will be finished when it's time to go (I hope so, they have a month to finalize the draft with me). I'll probably write whatever notes are necessary a day or two before so the last main step is to decide what state to ctb in and get the hotel reservation.

 

[lago]

(plan is to bicycle out to some convenient campground or wooded area, pitch a tent, and OD/fall asleep)
Dig out that old bottle of hydrocodone that's kicking around somewhere.
Buy a tent and sleeping bag.
Find my old backpack.
Write notes: One for my wife, one for family. I'm not much for paperwork; any "last will" will be in the notes.
Say good bye to the dog I sleep with.
Set up delayed send so the notes arrive after I'm gone.

 

[hahabye]

Some of the things I came up with this far:

- take out all of my money to leave it to my mom
- stop all of my paid subscriptions
- delete all my social media accounts and clean up the info/other accounts in the Internet
- delete all of my files (leave some nice pictures for the family to enjoy)
- reset my phone and my laptop
- write up care instructions for my pets and put all their things into one place for
- write a short note
- setup a message to be sent to the police
- drink my N (at home or drive somewhere into a forest)

Still wondering whether I'm forgetting anything, so following the thread

 

[Breakout92]

- stop all of my paid subscriptions

That is a great idea i didn't think of. I'll put a freeze on my credit card too just in case i forget anything.

 

[Celerity]

Unfortunately, I've got a ways to go, but I will be making similar preparations. I will also make sure to disconnect my phone so that I have no chance to back out. I'm going to shoot myself out in the middle of nowhere and will leave coordinates of the location on my email note.

 

[Tarod]

Haven't you thought about prepaying for your cremation so your family doesn't have a financial burden on top of the emotional one?

 

[killedbypsychiatry]

If your parents own the house it's also not very nice to them as committing suicide there will devalue the house

but how will people know?

Edit: Well I guess neighbors and family/friends will know and thus the rumor will spread :/

 

[loopylou]

Cleaning my house, getting rid of stuff like clothes and spring cleaning. Also decorating a few bits. Having my vehicle serviced and cleaned ready to sell . Sorting paperwork out

 

[Breakout92]

Haven't you thought about prepaying for your cremation so your family doesn't have a financial burden on top of the emotional one?

I haven't thought about it, I assume the money that they receive from my "estate" would cover it. There's enough there for a basic cremation service and for stuff like death certificate.

 

[jenny6391bubbles]

I honestly don't have much of a plan other than slowly pushing people away from me so that my death won't hit them as hard.

 

[Lame Old Duke]

I'm writing a journal of my last few months plan on saying goodbye sometime after July. Hopefully my girlfriend will be able to understand why I have to go. I have a feeling she knows I'm up to something.

 

[alittlehuman_]

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine and you make me happy when skies are greay
yooul never know deat how much i love you olease dont take my shunshine away

see mama