what my therapist said really moved me about ctb

[-Raven's Night-]

Today I had the last session with my therapist in this term. I was hesitating a lot but finally start like this: I really don't know if I should start talking about it, and I actually don't know how to start this topic..
I'm in a situation that I have to keep on living in the recent years because I wish to be gone at 27, which is symbolic. Also, too many things are preventing me from doing that, for example, my university is a great one and I don't want stupid media stuff to get something to write about!!! also my parents, etc., I told these to my therapist to reassure her that I will not ctb these days and she didn't need to panic or consider me in crisis. Though my brain is so obsessed with thinking about ctb and it's painful that it's still far away.
She seemed calm and asked some questions with respect of my decision, and she asked: so what do you want to do in the rest years? I was pretty hopeless about life and only thought about life has no meaning at all so I just replied about writing some music about my mental problems.
Then the chat somehow went to the methods, I mentioned that I even have chosen the method, she asked what it is with friendly curiosity and it ended up with me explaining chemistry stuff. Then it's about the suicide forum because it has really filled in my brain day and night, day after day, but I have to stay alive these years. Of course I didn't tell it by name but gives a vague description of being 'pro-choice'. After some discussion about what is actually pro-choice, she answered: ''pro-choice means that one person has the right to choose suicide, and though suicide is not the only choice.''
During the conversation what I felt was that she respect my feelings and choice and it's just so moving and make me think a lot. I'm kinda not courageous enough to post it because of anxiety issues but I'll give it a go now.

 

[Regen]

It seems you had a very good talk! When can you talk to her again? She sounds friendly and without too much anxiety. I am really happy you had a good session!! And I hope its not to long when the next session starts!?

 

[-Raven's Night-]

It seems you had a very good talk! When can you talk to her again? She sounds friendly and without too much anxiety. I am really happy you had a good session!! And I hope its not to long when the next session starts!?

Yes! And her attitudes really surprised me, it's indeed a good talk. Thank you so much! The next session will start after the Christmas break, it's just a little bit longer interval than usual but I still feel a little bit sad as if something ended.

 

[Regen]

For me its always difficult if the time between the sessions is to long. I am sorry that you have to wait till after the christmas break. I hope that's not to long, I dont know how long in your country the breaks are. Do you have a fix date for the next session? But I think its good that you had this good session before the long break, I really hope because of that you can hold a little hope and can stand till the new year!

For me having a good therapist is a magic gift in all the pain and emptiness....

 

[-Raven's Night-]

For me its always difficult if the time between the sessions is to long. I am sorry that you have to wait till after the christmas break. I hope that's not to long, I dont know how long in your country the breaks are. Do you have a fix date for the next session? But I think its good that you had this good session before the long break, I really hope because of that you can hold a little hope and can stand till the new year!

For me having a good therapist is a magic gift in all the pain and emptiness....

Fortunately, i don't think the Christmas break is so long. i do need to reschedule so there's not a fixed date yet. Exactly, this good session brings hope and i am really grateful for that. Thank you so much! I wish you have an amazing therapist as well and let them help you ease some pain and emptiness!

 

[Regen]

Thank you! Yes, indead, luckily I have a good therapist. In the past I had many bad, so I know what a great gift it is. Sounds that you can hold the hope for you. I am happy to read this!!

 

[Cathy Ames]

During the conversation what I felt was that she respect my feelings and choice and it's just so moving and make me think a lot. I'm kinda not courageous enough to post it because of anxiety issues but I'll give it a go now.

Thank you for sharing this. I'm glad that you did find the courage to post it and that you found this nice point of connection with your therapist. Best wishes for your continued recovery.