Discussion What makes people want to ctb with a partner?

[Red]

I didn't know what the partner megathread was, even after being here over a year (stoopid) - just skimmed by it and assumed it was just related stuff or something idk

I didn't realise people actually look for other people to ctb with, the thought never even crossed my mind! I guess to me it's the ultimate solitary act, the loneliest thing in the world to do, taking that element away from it turns it into something else in my mind somehow, and I can't get my head around it. It seems like the complete opposite to how I think of it and I'm curious to see the other side

Would anyone mind sharing why they feel like they can't ctb alone, enough to consider posting for a stranger to accompany them? I won't judge, just want to understand what they're feeling a little better.

 

[ssaaahmo]

I didn't know what the partner megathread was, even after being here over a year (stoopid) - just skimmed by it and assumed it was just related stuff or something idk

I didn't realise people actually look for other people to ctb with, the thought never even crossed my mind! I guess to me it's the ultimate solitary act, the loneliest thing in the world to do, taking that element away from it turns it into something else in my mind somehow, and I can't get my head around it. It seems like the complete opposite to how I think of it and I'm curious to see the other side

Would anyone mind sharing why they feel like they can't ctb alone, enough to consider posting for a stranger to accompany them? I won't judge, just want to understand what they're feeling a little better.

I never wanted to have a suicide partner, but I am lonely a lot so I would just want someone to talk to to relate to in my last moments.

 

[oopswronglife]

It won't happen and is a romantic nonsensical thing...but who wouldn't want to fall asleep holding someone's hand or embracing them after one last nice evening being alive and talking and experiencing interaction with another soul? Feeling safe and not alone? It's not practical...and hard to get people synced up for such a desperate act, but I don't think the desire is unreasonable. I'd love to go out with someone, watching the sunset and hearing the waves, comfortable on a beach etc. Same way people wish to die in sleep with their partners at the same time.

But the more practical side from reading the thread seems to be people wanting someone else to do the hard and scary work. Most people posting don't have a method, cannot travel, essentially want a suicide method delivery person...not a partner.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

It's understandable to want to not be alone for some at the end. But the thread is a swimming pool for sharks and I expect many who go in there get bitten. And of course there are practical and legal issues to engaging in behaviour like that. It's the thing on this forum that is most likely to get the site taken down.

 

[beyond_aquila_rift]

Easy. I don't want to die alone. Even if someone is not there physically. There is that one person that will know it's happening and will be there to support you in whatever capacity you choose.

 

[ohhgeeitsme]

With my first attempts, I felt more alone than I knew was even possible. So when I came here and saw the partner section, I thought it would be nice to go out with someone by my side. I did find a partner that I connected with but he just recently backed out. I doubt I will look for another. For one, I'm very paranoid about the intentions of others so I always have some level of discomfort with it. But also, my mindset is a bit different from when I first attempted and the more I think about it, the more I'm okay with going alone. Almost seems more appropriate, a very personal event if you're the one choosing it. But who knows?

 

[Kumachan]

One last adventure, special connection very few ppl will get to experience. Brothers and sisters opting out of a raw deal hand in hand:)

 

[Aap]

The biggest concern I have about the megathread is that it exposes very vulnerable people to LE or much more disconcertingly very, very bad individuals, some of whom may be posting there themselves

 

[Exitforme]

It is foolish to want to die with a partner. We were born alone, we will die alone. Everything else is just denial.

 

[Outsider]

We are social animals so doing it together feels better than alone.

 

[InTheAirTonight]

I wonder if any partners fell in love and didn't want to CTB anymore. A nice thought for sure

 

[meerpasta]

I'm closed off or too poor to gather the necessary resources myself and haven't been able to overcome SI for cheaper options like jumping and hanging yet

 

[patheticpartner]

The methods inmediately available to me have a high survival rate and I'm afraid of the pain. I seek a partner with one of the less painful methods so that they may generously allow me to leech off their method. Also, I feel like I wouldn't chicken out if I had someone with me, even if they bail in the very last second and just accompanied me while I died.

It is foolish to want to die with a partner. We were born alone, we will die alone. Everything else is just denial.

I don't see how it's foolish. You can be aware that we are fundamentally alone, and also want a partner around for the superficial comfort as you or both of you die. It's like people who get inebriated before committing suicide. It's not foolish to want to make the dying process feel more comfortable. If the end result is the same, why judge?

 

[mathieu]

I just want company in those last lonely moments.

 

[Exitforme]

The methods inmediately available to me have a high survival rate and I'm afraid of the pain. I seek a partner with one of the less painful methods so that they may generously allow me to leech off their method. Also, I feel like I wouldn't chicken out if I had someone with me, even if they bail in the very last second and just accompanied me while I died.



I don't see how it's foolish. You can be aware that we are fundamentally alone, and also want a partner around for the superficial comfort as you or both of you die. It's like people who get inebriated before committing suicide. It's not foolish to want to make the dying process feel more comfortable. If the end result is the same, why judge?

I pass no judgement. I only seek to make it clear that the desire to die with someone holding your hand is fundementally superficial, as you rightfully admitted.

 

[BaconCheeseburger]

I like the theory of it but the practicality comes with so many issues as others have mentioned. In a way I'd want someone there to encourage me and I encourage them because I know I'm too weak to do this alone. There have been a few times over the years where I've seen people around me suffering and have wanted to ask them if they'd like to CTB with me. The first one got me a stern talking to from my workplace and the second I haven't told him he'd be someone I'd like to die with. His mates would be devastated though and likely blame me..

 

[Ardesevent]

Not a lot of people want to die alone.

 

[Giraffey]

My current plan would be to pass away alone. Indeed I have two plans and one of them would necessitate that in order for it to be construed as an accidental death. But I do enjoy the thought of having a partner, to spend a little time, in the beginning, building a connection and a shared philosophy on the beauty of death (a spiritual liberation from the hallowing shackles of extinct life, an undead existence).

We'd agree on one last adventure, travel down to a beauty spot overlooking the ocean. Through film industry contacts, I have access to various private locations where we could be alone and undisturbed except by nature. After sharing one final drink, some memories and a toast to our onward voyage, we'd ask one another one final time if we're ready. If so then we'd proceed, whether it be hand in hand as bonded spirits, or just side by side as contemporaries, to the sound of the lapping waves and dimming warmth of the setting sun, we'd depart together.

I wonder whether in some ways it would bring my family (and my CTB partner's family) some comfort to know that we/they weren't alone in their final moments, provided that both knew neither of us had pressured the other to go through with the final act. It's not my current plan, but for me it's practical and there is a certain beauty to it that makes it worth giving some serious thought.

 

[itsamadworld]

My current plan would be to pass away alone. Indeed I have two plans and one of them would necessitate that in order for it to be construed as an accidental death. But I do enjoy the thought of having a partner, to spend a little time, in the beginning, building a connection and a shared philosophy on the beauty of death (a spiritual liberation from the hallowing shackles of extinct life, an undead existence).

We'd agree on one last adventure, travel down to a beauty spot overlooking the ocean. Through film industry contacts, I have access to various private locations where we could be alone and undisturbed except by nature. After sharing one final drink, some memories and a toast to our onward voyage, we'd ask one another one final time if we're ready. If so then we'd proceed, whether it be hand in hand as bonded spirits, or just side by side as contemporaries, to the sound of the lapping waves and dimming warmth of the setting sun, we'd depart together.

I wonder whether in some ways it would bring my family (and my CTB partner's family) some comfort to know that we/they weren't alone in their final moments, provided that both knew neither of us had pressured the other to go through with the final act. It's not my current plan, but for me it's practical and there is a certain beauty to it that makes it worth giving some serious thought.

Well said! I too had a similar dreams/ wishes.....- to find a person to which we would agree upon a certain adventure. Mine would be camping at a really beautiful site, with some mountains, trees. and a body of water nearby... and hopefully the other person would feel the same or simliar desire. We could camp comfortably for a while, even a cabin would work or a hotel I would make sure we had a written agreement should one party decide to back out at the last moment stating that nobody coerced the other party into CBT, because SI should not be a crime anymore than suicide! I have most of the supplies to my SN, I just have to get the anti-emetic, to which I have a plan of how to procure it....and we could share this.
But the best thing would be sharing my last moments with someone to whom we could enjoy a wonderful sunset, a few drinks prior to fasting, and ultimately scenes of the mountains, tree, and a lake as the last thing our eyes would see.

But my only concern is the human nature element, and how sometimes unreliable and fickle our species can be. Not to mention, some people are users and could exploit the situation. That is why I hope to have the courage to jump into the great unknown alone again!

 

[muffin222]

Fear of the unknown, perhaps?

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I wouldn´t want to do it with a partner I have turned down several people for the reason that as you mentioned it´s the ultimate solitary act, I want to be alone thinking about my youth especially my childhood it´s my moment I don´t want to be disturbed by a partner who also doesn´t understand how I feel, they understand being suicidal but they don´t understand how much I miss being a child I have I desperately hope to wake up as a child when I pull the trigger like the Inception train scene by killing myself I will just wake up from this nightmare.

 

[AlreadyGone]

I guess people do not want to die alone. But idk. CTB is hard enough as is. I feel having a partner will only complicate things.

 

[LastFlowers]

I don't understand it either. I want to be alone when I die. I don't want an audience or a stranger or even family anywhere near me.

 

[mooncake]

On the one hand I feel like I would like dying is such a private and personal act, but at the same time, I know that I fall sleep best when I'm not alone. the thought of going alone can be really scary sometimes

 

[rundschlinge78]

I don't want to die alone. Since anyone being present could be in trouble for "assisting", the only way to not die alone is with a suicide partner. I like the idea of holding someone and stepping off together into full suspension hanging.

 

[Blueman]

Most people when they die are not alone at the point of death.
I'd much prefer some company at the end

 

[BrokenLine]

I think it comes down to as people have said not wanting to die alone. But i think there's confidence and comfort too your with someone who wants the same thing it must bring a degree of peace, helping to overcome the SI.

 

[TAW122]

I prefer to take a solitary road to the very end and mostly due to security, safety, and personal preference. As for others, I believe there are people who wish to share their last moments with another human being, not feel so lonely, and/or have another likeminded individual who would take the 'transition' process (hopping onto the bus) with them. In a more practical sense, another partner may have another method that said person may feel more comfortable with. Of course, with any pacts, meeting up, and what not, there is always a risk of being taken advantage of, therefore, it is up to the person as well as the partner they choose to be comfortable enough with each other before they decide to go through with it.