What makes a good friend? And do you have one?

[foreverfalling]

I've never had much luck with friends, despite longing for one (or a couple). But what makes a good friend? In my teenage years, I just wanted a group of people I could hang out with and be comfortable around. In my 20s, I wanted to find someone I could trust, share similar opinions and understand what I was going through. Now in my 30s, it seems what I would consider a good friend has gotten even tighter.

A good friend is someone who would pull the trigger on me when called for.

I think that encompasses a lot of qualities in one sentence. Someone that understands the pain and suffering I go through and is compassionate in my reasons to leave. Someone I can rely on to help me in a dire situation. Someone that won't rat me out and put me in even more misery. Someone that helps me to help me, and not to help themself. Someone that's on the same side as me. Someone I can trust and show my genuine self to.

And so as I get older I realise more and more it's an impossibility to find this good friend outside of myself.

 

[hmskms]

anyone who doesn't feel threatened by the thought of being within my possession.

my problem is i dont feel these people exist. i feel like everyone is out to get me, and it fucking bothers me when i see people giving themselves up for others.

my sanity rests on the notion that people are selfish, and choose their own masters. it's the only thing that explains why i'm not owed from people what's seemingly a right for others. it's the only way i can pursue any change for my life, or there is nothing to chase at all.

 

[The anhedonic one]

A true friend will love you unconditionally and always be there for you no matter what.
Unfortunately these true friends are as rare as rocking horse shit.
No, I've never had one.

 

[suicidalloser]

Never had, never will
A friend to me is a soldier with virtue.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I actually have two real true friends who are staying with me even in such hard times but ofc they would not really understand the wish to ctb as most prolifers don't. But still, they are staying with me as I stay with them in any case. This is what true friends are.

 

[woh6]

I think trust is a big factor. Furthermore being able to respect different views. I have some friends whom I trust but if I were to go against their beliefs they would get mad, so I can't fully be myself around them. Aside from them I have one friend who has both of these qualities, she's also the only person who I can be around without getting socially drained. I'm so thankful for her.

 

[loyalskateboard]

Trust, similar interests, ability to remain friends after an argument, feeling comfortable together, not having to hide your true self. There's probably more but that's what I've got for now. I have one friend like that. We lived together/shared a room for a while and if you can survive that you can survive anything lmao

 

[ctvunny]

I guess I can count a few good friends. Able to actually put their selves at the moment when we all hang out, eating, watching and whatever things we wanted to do at the time. I like how we can all be honest and mad at each other. There are some aspects where I feel lack of same interest but we still all get along.
I couldnt really ask for much since I also do bare minimum lol but thats just how it is right now.

 

[Nakiya]

I don't know. I think most people expect too much out of a friend. A good friend probably is someone who breaks expectations of what a friend is.

 

[JustABug]

Someone you have no shame with and want's to know you. You can express emotional thoughts that are considered dramatic and 'cringe' without fear of being belittled. Feeling comfortable to share private and intimate thoughts with a laugh in the back of your throat, knowing they wouldn't shame you but laugh along. I have only one person in my life that I can have all sorts of conversations with and share the knowledge that we crave to know every small detail about each other and our friends. People like to be understood, it's how human's work. I'm glad to have them as a friend.