What is your reason for wanting to ctb?

[justanotherdaynow]

Mine is that I have chronic illness and no one helps or understands including doctors. Family and friends dismiss my experiences and will only listen to doctors but doctors don't help my illness either. It's incredibly isolating. I never knew life could get this bad but I feel for everyone who deals with chronic illness and disability because it's the most dismissed experience I can imagine other than the dismissiveness of mental health.

 

[CHOSEVIOLENCE]

I'm in a lot of debt and have been homeless for a while now. A good chunk of my life has been spent on the streets or in shelters, but I didn't necessarily want to live or die either way for most of it. It's only when I got a brutally assaulted to the point of being in a coma for two weeks that something in me snapped and I decided that I was tired of living like this.

 

[raindrops]

Hi
umm im high right now and my paranoia is settling in

but apart from talking to me becuase im high af,
others here are helpful, understanding and want the best for all.

as for me i was heartbroken.
sounds pathetic actually but yeah, heartbreak.

 

[uniqueusername22]

unsure about the future. overall disillusioned. burden on my friends and family. dont enjoy living. dont enjoy school. no hope for future happiness or success.

im just tired.

 

[justanotherdaynow]

I'm in a lot of debt and have been homeless for a while now. A good chunk of my life has been spent on the streets or in shelters, but I didn't necessarily want to live or die either way for most of it. It's only when I got a brutally assaulted to the point of being in a coma for two weeks that something in me snapped and I decided that I was tired of living like this.

I hope you find peace soon and I'm sorry. You didn't deserve any of that.

unsure about the future. overall disillusioned. burden on my friends and family. dont enjoy living. dont enjoy school. no hope for future happiness or success.

im just tired.

Same here. I feel you 100 percent on that

Hi
umm im high right now and my paranoia is settling in

but apart from talking to me becuase im high af,
others here are helpful, understanding and want the best for all.

as for me i was heartbroken.
sounds pathetic actually but yeah, heartbreak.

That's understandable. Heartbreak is awful

 

[bigworm]

my parents have sheltered me my entire life i cannot find anything to succeed i just want a new chance at life to not be an autistic neet incel who grew up terrible has no social skills. im scared to leave my house. im scared of people. my parents have ruined me. i never had irl friends i was always made fun of in school. idk

 

[VeryShy]

Complex lifetime severe mental illness

 

[justanotherdaynow]

Complex lifetime severe mental illness

I am sorry and I hope you get the peace that you deserve.

 

[clementinemure]

For as long as I remember, I have never been able to be happy. I have always felt like the black sheep of my family. I've tried getting help, I was hospitalized, I saw doctors, I made "friends", tried finding hobbies.. I've tried turning my life around many times, but it never worked. No matter how much I tried to change things, it never really changed. I've never felt true happiness. I feel better sometimes, but it never last long. I don't feel close to anyone, not even my fiancé anymore. We have two cats and it feels like they're all I have left.

My fiancé seemed happy with me at first, but it changed. He doesn't look at me the same way anymore.. it changed. He treats me different too, he doesn't spend time anymore. He games on his computer for hours at a time. I feel so alone, even while living with the person I'm supposed to be the closest to.

I can't ctb, while I'm dating him and having cats. My cats will have to be rehomed and I don't want that :( I'm worried they won't be taken care of. Regarding him, if I do ctb, he won't be able to pay rent by himself. Plus, his entire family is convinced that I don't love him, which is not true. They'll all blame me for "breaking his heart". I want to be able to go in peace.

 

[justanotherdaynow]

For as long as I remember, I have never been able to be happy. I have always felt like the black sheep of my family. I've tried getting help, I was hospitalized, I saw doctors, I made "friends", tried finding hobbies.. I've tried turning my life around many times, but it never worked. No matter how much I tried to change things, it never really changed. I've never felt true happiness. I feel better sometimes, but it never last long. I don't feel close to anyone, not even my fiancé anymore. We have two cats and it feels like they're all I have left.

My fiancé seemed happy with me at first, but it changed. He doesn't look at me the same way anymore.. it changed. He treats me different too, he doesn't spend time anymore. He games on his computer for hours at a time. I feel so alone, even while living with the person I'm supposed to be the closest to.

I can't ctb, while I'm dating him and having cats. My cats will have to be rehomed and I don't want that :( I'm worried they won't be taken care of. Regarding him, if I do ctb, he won't be able to pay rent by himself. Plus, his entire family is convinced that I don't love him, which is not true. They'll all blame me for "breaking his heart". I want to be able to go in peace.

I am very sorry. I can empathize with not being happy and wanting to go in peace. I hope that one day you are able to.

 

[Isbel88]

I have fibromyalgia. I don't have family.

 

[divinemistress36]

Brain injury, ptsd , depression

 

[justanotherdaynow]

I have fibromyalgia. I don't have family.

I am sorry. You deserve relief and to have people around you who care for you

 

[Randy Savage]

A few things but primarily dysphoria and the feeling I'll die alone and without accomplishment

 

[Mywill]

Gone insane, can't stand myself being at this state. Feels like I am losing consciousness the further I get to life.

 

[lv-nii]

I find it hard to interact with people, I have social anxiety. My father died 5 years ago, I can't get over it.

I don't want to exist

 

[uncat_]

A few things but primarily dysphoria and the feeling I'll die alone and without accomplishment

but then wouldnt ctbing be letting that happen? why not try find people and accomplish something, then die? you never know what might happen

 

[pthind94]

It's chronic illness for me and fear of the future and living with it. I don't want to be a burden on people around me and plus I don't have friends.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Life itself just isn't worth living. Death is far more blissful and peaceful compared to life

 

[TakeMeToHeaven]

i'm too mentally unstable to live a normal life

 

[spentspirit]

Complicated set of chronic illness and mental illness

 

[GoatHerder]

Suffering exists

 

[yellowjester]

Chronic illness. Anhedonia. Lack of fulfillment.

 

[indefinitesleep2]

mind numbing anhedonia and depression from anti psychotics and a psychotic break, also fucked around too much as a teen so now Im gonna have to work extra hard to have some sort of a career and Im not arsed for allat

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case I'd always prefer to not exist no matter what, I have no interest in suffering in this cruel, meaningless and futile existence where there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel, wanting to die is all that makes sense for me personally as I'm not meant for existing and I don't see anything desirable about the pointless and torturous burden of existing as a human where one is destined for nothing but to decay, deteriorate and be tormented by old age. I'd never really wish to exist, for me the true problem lies in existence itself, I find it tiring and dreadful to simply be conscious and aware, all I've ever wished for is to simply be at true permanent peace for all eternity, I only find comfort in death.