Help What is your opinion on people who want this site shut down?

[disappearingquietly]

As I write this, I'm mostly thinking of parents who have lost their kids, after those kids used methods on this site to commit suicide. I know that losing a child is the most painful thing that a parent could go through. I understand that they're in pain. But see, I do have an opinion on the parents, that may be controversial. Here it is. I don't believe that the site deserves most of the blame, honestly. I believe that the parent is also at fault here. They seem to forget that if their child was a minor, it was their responsibility to safeguard the child online. Not the site's. Sorry if that touches on a sensitive subject. That's just my honest opinion.

TLDR: This site doesn't deserve full blame for the death of a child. The parents also deserve blame for not safeguarding the child online.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

[Redacted]

 

[lefi]

Most people off themselves without this site, I think they're focusing their energy on the wrong thing. Why don't they try helping those who want help instead? Everybody has a lot of things to say once the person is gone, but they weren't there when it mattered the most.

 

[null_blank]

Reminds me of an old Em line—
"Don't blame me if little Terrence jumps off a the terrace, you're supposed to be watching 'im/apparently parents can't be parents"

Of course kids can still end up having internet lives their parents don't know about. I know I did! Even though my parents did take some care to see some of what I was up to, I think it's a reminder that we don't always know other people as well as we think we do—even if they're your own progeny.

But we'd all like to believe we're the Super Moms and Dads able to intercept a sext in a single glance, right?

Sometimes we'll miss. And it sucks. We're human.

 

[disappearingquietly]

Reminds me of an old Em line—
"Don't blame me if little Terrence jumps off a the terrace, you're supposed to be watching 'im/apparently parents can't be parents"

Of course kids can still end up having internet lives their parents don't know about. I know I did! Even though my parents did take some care to see some of what I was up to, I think it's a reminder that we don't always know other people as well as we think we do—even if they're your own progeny.

But we'd all like to believe we're the Super Moms and Dads able to intercept a sext in a single glance, right?

Sometimes we'll miss. And it sucks. We're human.

Yeah, I do understand that. I think I may have wrote my words incorrectly. What I meant was that parents who wholeheartedly blame the site (as in, can't see any blame at all on themselves) for their child's death are wrong. All I'm trying to say is that there is slight blame on the parents or guardians. Of course, situations at home vary, but you get the point.

 

[_Minsk]

Some people just use this site as scapegoat

 

[Soupster]

I mean... I personally have concerns about the public visibility without registration, but I totally get the increased workload that causes... and let's be real, registration does very little to prevent minors or other vulnerable people from accessing the website. I don't think there is a perfect solution.

Everything on this forum is available on the web elsewhere. It provides very little "new" information on the how. It is perhaps a bit more ease of access friendly. But I assure you, anyone who has decided to ctb, will find the information they need to do it if they want it. The scary thing is how many people post here daily asking if method xyz will work (when they have easy access to proven methods) when method xyz will almost certainly not work but instead cause serious harm, prolonged suffering and reprocussions. .

Final thought. If SS goes down, it will be replaced. It may take a bit of time to rebuild a community, to repost the resources, but places like SS have existed since the inception of the web.

 

[null_blank]

Yeah, I do understand that. I think I may have wrote my words incorrectly. What I meant was that parents who wholeheartedly blame the site (as in, can't see any blame at all on themselves) for their child's death are wrong. All I'm trying to say is that there is slight blame on the parents or guardians. Of course, situations at home vary, but you get the point.

Oh, most definitely!

If they're so myopic they don't see they could have done anything to possibly be a contributing factor, they have far bigger issues than a series of wires and tubes.

 

[Z-A]

They'll never understand that this site exists for a reason. Suicide isn't a topic that will ever disappear; it will always be relevant. People like them contribute more harm than good. If they're so concerned, they should focus on improving people's well-being, but we all know that that's not what they're worried for.

 

[revontulet]

There is really harmful material for kids online, just check Tiktok etc social media platforms. Parents should watch what their kids do online. I understand it is extremely sad if kid takes his/her own life. But blaming this site for that is wrong.

 

[ToilThenDie]

They want to be the hero. They can't leave well enough alone.

 

[GuessWhosBack]

Final thought. If SS goes down, it will be replaced. It may take a bit of time to rebuild a community, to repost the resources, but places like SS have existed since the inception of the web.

Exactly, shut this down, another pops up.

I mean... I personally have concerns about the public visibility without registration, but I totally get the increased workload that causes... and let's be real, registration does very little to prevent minors or other vulnerable people from accessing the website. I don't think there is a perfect solution.

Yeah this is the part that bothers me the most about the site, absolutely. Unfortunately age restrictions have never really stopped kids with enough curiosity.

 

[Davey36000]

I think they have a point.

I know some don't want to hear this because in principle this forum is supposed to be pro-choice but I see many goodbye post where the users are very quick to encourage suicide, specially not knowing the full details of the person.

Some people may take pleasure with other people's decision to kill themselves and this is very disturbing.

Yes, suffering would exist regardless, and some would still suicide wether they have access to this forum or not, but this certainly facilitates and when people are more vulnerable they are more easily brainwashed and may do things they would not do otherwise.

Outside of venting, this forum is probably more appropriate to those who have been sure (for a long time) that they want to CTB.

There have been cases here which I think people didn't really want to go through with this but did it due to this site anyway. But ofc, my speculation.

 

[M4rii]

I think that these people are focusing on the wrong thing. In my opinion, they are telling themselves that this website is the main problem, but this is not actually the case.

They should concentrate much more on how to solve the main problems.

 

[thinvy]

I think focusing on shutting down the site misses the point of "protecting" people entirely. Genuinely, joining this site actually turned my mental health around significantly, as fucked as that sounds. I'm not longer a terrified beast in a cage, alone and afraid. I can come here, talk about how life sucks and I don't want to live, and y'all are (usually) sweeter than a peach and nonjudgmental. I'm no longer "one bad day away from downing a bottle of pills and ending up hospitalized bc I failed" nearly every single day. I actually have the energy to get up, go to work, be annoyed, and come home without every little minor inconvenience being yet another reason to kill myself.

on the note of "this site gives info to vulnerable minors", yeah. so does google. that's how I know the lethality and pain levels associated with basically almost everything I could kill myself with in the house. as a former young teen myself, I found it incredibly easy to find dangerous info and materials anywhere.

I was 14, I think, when I found the PPH for the first time. 15 when I found out about MAID and right-to-die activist groups. 16 when I was desperately researching where I could move and what qualifications I needed to meet to die a dignified death. I started SHing when I was even younger, and believe me, I was crafty as hell with getting my tools. being strip searched couldn't even stop me. I'm 25, nearly 26 now, and the fear of things being taken away from me and the fear of being involuntarily hospitalized keeps me from being able to talk about and deal with my feelings in a healthy manner. I only really have this site and edibles to deal with how massively suicidal I still am to this day because of that.

If a kid wants to know something, they'll either keep at it until they find out, or give up. the more you try to hide things, the more they'll dig. complete censorship in the name of "minor safety" is a massive slippery slope. like yeah, I don't think minors should be on here, but I also remember that I was like 15 when I first joined an eating disorder forum.

anyways, long story short, shutting this site down is stupid and does nothing to solve the problem of people killing themselves. I would be dead without this site. I owe SS my life currently, as ironic as that is to say. I would have died painfully and tragically, probably a year or so ago in a fit of desperation. Now I have plans for my next year (if I don't end up CTB after new years, which I think I'll wait until my birthday comes around one more time after this one.). I feel less on edge, less afraid, less.... alone, really. At the core of it, that's why I joined the site. I was alone and couldn't talk about wanting to die anywhere else

sorry for the long rambles, I'm tired and should be heading off to sleep lol

 

[painofzed]

I hope they experience lifelong crippling depression with no hope at the end of the tunnel for over 40 years. Then let's see how they feel.

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

They just need someone to blame. Tons of people cbt without ever knowing about this site - who can they blame in that case, no one. But this way these idiots have someone to blame.

 

[Cyagangy]

Since they don't use it I don't blame them for wanting it down. But I would rather someone have a more painless suicide with the info given then a agonizing one. Everyone is entitled to there own opinions.

 

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

The anger of parents is misdirected. They use this website as a scapegoat because it's easier to accept that their child was effectively murdered by others (the people on this site) than that their child was really in so much pain that they ended their own lives.

 

[maniac116]

This site is here because of need for a place to speak openly & honestly about how we feel without repercussions.
You can't tell a therapist or Dr you want to CTB or you're risking being hospitalized. People need to be heard. Some of us don't have close friends we can tell or true feelings to.
I can't imagine losing one of my kids to suicide. I'm sure there's a need for many to find blame with something or someone in their death, but blaming a forum isn't realistic.
I feel better about life after speaking up & at least feeling like I'm heard by someone on this forum. I'm still amongst the living in part because of this forum.
It's a very loving place in my opinion

 

[nux_walpurgis]

They should shut their mouths instead

 

[maynoname]

I think that they never been in this situation. When you want to ctb it's really complicated. Because you are so alone. It's difficult for almost everybody to hear what you have to say including your parents. And this website offers a safeplace for all the people who want to ctb.
And yes, it's the most terrible thing for parents to lose a child. I lost my brother (by accident, not suicide), and this is sometimes difficult to realise that if i ctb they gonna suffer another time like they did.

 

[Ash]

Since they don't use it I don't blame them for wanting it down. But I would rather someone have a more painless suicide with the info given then a agonizing one. Everyone is entitled to there own opinions.

Most sensible thing I think I've ever read on the interweb.

 

[paganar]

It's the parents fault that the the child has reached the point where he is seeking suicide. If you can't take care of your kid then you shouldn't even give birth. Now that I'm suicidal and I don't want to leave anymore I don't think that it's the site's fault.

 

[VeryShy]

They don't have the understanding of extreme pain and suffering which can usually be permanent.

 

[Ramsay Fiction]

They want to blame something other than themselves or the system that failed the person who was lost. Without this site people would still continue. Another would take its place anyway. It's ignorance and it's refusal to let fault fall on where it actually belongs.

 

[Worndown]

Lucky. It is obvious they have avoided the sort of life experiences that bring you here OR they just simply ignore thier reality and continue this easy and guiltless crusade.
They might be fools too.

 

[Epikur]

It is easy to exculpate oneself by blamnig a certain web site. If it didn´t exist, there´d be a bunch of other internet resources to put the blame on. Maybe it´s just a coping strategy if a child commits suicide, but I am convinced that the real reason is about to listen which we have mislearned, pursuing our so-valued personal goals.

 

[hadenough]

People committed suicide before this site existed and will be doing it long after this site has gone. It doesn't need to encourage people if those people are already intent. At least we can find ways to do it as painlessly as possible.

 

[SilentSadness]

In the case of grieving parents who want the site shut down, it says everything I need to know. If they're selfish enough to have a child and can't be trusted to know about their suicidality beforehand, they are clearly not good parents. I feel only disgust, they are a blight on this planet.