Discussion What is your biggest reason of wanting to ctb?

[obei]

Im so drunk… so imma prov make quite a few posts, I feel so safe in this community.
So like, we all have quite a few reasons to ctb, all the problems we will not have to face anymore, but what is the biggest one for u all?
For me it is just not having to deal with problems… it is judt too much for me, ik they all have their solutions, but it is just too much for me rn, and idk if its gonna get better…

 

[divinemistress36]

Brain injury

 

[DesperateOne]

Severe isolation that lasted for pretty much my entire life which stunted my mental growth, addiction and a bunch of mental illnesses. There were also a ton of problems/responsibilities that were stacking up ever since I was 10, but I just pushed them back into my mind with escapism. Kept doing this for a decade and now stuff is starting to finally burst out.

 

[luneylonegirl]

My 2 main reasons to ctb is:
1. I can't see the future and i fucked up my own life path
2. I broke up with my bf of 7 years

And also, for the past few years, i feel like my brain isn't braining anymore, so, yeah.

 

[obei]

Brain injury

What do you exactly mean?

 

[Silent Raindrops]

To finally be rid of the depression and anxiety, the sadness, the loneliness.

To be away from this life that has rejected and disowned me. The life that has treated me like shit.

 

[FuneralCry]

Ultimately it's because I see existence as undesirable in general. I'd always prefer to not exist than deteriorate from age in this cruel and futile existence where there is no limit as to how much I can suffer. Suicide for me is unnecessary suffering prevention and the way to find safety from suffering in this existence I never wished for in the first place.

 

[DrPepper709]

I am tired of trying. I have a therapy appointment in three minutes where I have to pretend to be mildly okay, so I don't get put in a mental hospital again. It's exhausting.

 

[divinemistress36]

What do you exactly mean?

I can't handle the effects of my Brain injury . Severe depression, ptsd, cognitive issues, a lot of memory loss

 

[Doemu]

I got two:

1. I hate existance, no matter what. Even when i'm happy i want to smile and kill my self. I'm okey to being killed too.

2. I have mental illness that made me wana seriusly hurt others, so i prefer CTB my self. That happens to me to everyone that i can't consider being one of mine group.

I have a no family and no friends policy, so i only can see as mates other suicidals.

 

[eLdus]

I have a chronic health condition that makes it difficult to breathe and sleep is almost impossible. I've been like this for years and have levels of tiredness that I never knew existed. I love my family and used to love life, but not like this.

 

[borderlinee]

Schizophrenia, the negative symptoms are awful and I'm completely alienated from everyone. Medication makes my life a living hell too.

 

[Morpho]

Borderline Personality Disorder

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Life itself isn't really worth living for me

 

[Abyssal]

Having a job.

 

[MildenWarden]

Fear of failure and of the uncertainty of future, the thought of having to live and die by natural means, while dealing with everything in life, mental illnesses which make each day unbearable.

 

[Groundhog_Day]

Avoidant personality disorder.

You crave friendships, relationships etc, but you have a deep rooted sense of being ugly, stupid and worthless. You also imagine that everyone else either thinks this about you, or will very quickly realise it.

 

[Ironborn]

Mental issues, exhaustion, isolation.

 

[Spaztism]

2nd hand depression and anxiety due to autism spectrum disorder and a lot of trauma which makes me feel like a husk of the happy and innocent child I once was.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

Being a fuck up in general. Horrible life decisions.

 

[Unattainable666]

I have so many reasons. I'll try to make this short and sweet. I'm old, I'm unloved; I'm lonely; I make bad decisions; I am broke; I hate my job; I tried to start my life over and failed; I want to see my little girl again. I think this covers it.

 

[sirciroc]

feeling like a failure and a burden to everyone around me, feelings of loneliness, no hope for the overall future of the world

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I'm an incel loser kissless virgin who's squandered all of his potential also I hate myself for what I have done to myself and to others. I'm also just not a good person. There is just no reason I deserve to live.

 

[nogoodfatautist]

This life is stupid and exhausting. Work 40 hours a week for 40+ years just to be able to barely scrape by. I can barely handle having a job because I cant handle socializing. Maybe getting a job with no socialization would help but in the long run I will probably end up hating that too. Having little blips of happiness like a vacation or hanging out with friends just to be miserable again afterwards just isn't worth it anymore. Whats the point of even having happy moments if they are all going to end in sadness one way or another? Im fat and autistic so my social capital is basically 0. Except Im a woman so people just expect that I have men dropping at my feet to want to be with me. Lmao I wish otherwise I wouldn't be on this website or wanting to ctb.

 

[FairyOfShampoo]

Mainly my depression since i have been depressed for a long time now and it's just been getting worse… Therapy, mental hospital visits or medications are not helping. I'm just tired of trying and don't see a point in that anymore.

 

[Deads00n]

Dealing with Diabetes type 1 and adhd plus r*ped and bullied, childhood neglect, social anxiety + insomnia

 

[onbekend]

A few aspects: Urges that I can't explain, whispers in the back of my head, Issues with my life, and the way I have harmed all my former friends emotionally has left me with no friends. Having no friends is a good thing so far, but now my family have to worry about me, And so I think I should take it upon myself to stop the burden that I bring onto them by ending my own life.

Another thing that I feel is that there really just isn't much else that life has to offer (for me anyway) beyond this point. I could go ahead and genuinely make an effort to improve my life, but what genuinely awaits me? And better yet, What makes people believe that it's worth continuing on for? Is it that constant search for love and happiness that we search for as a species? Because as far as I can tell, No person I have met in my entire life regardless of age, gender, race, or anything along those lines have ever really achieved it. Yes, humans as a species can be happy for a limited time, but they can't live in the lifetime of peace and happiness that we as humans instinctively search for, until we die. That is more than enough of a reason for me to CTB as it is.