Discussion What is the main factor that supports you to live on?

[peace_van]

Questioning the meaning of life...

For me, basically, I'm considering ctb because I feel I cannot do well in any of the first three choices,
not quite interested in religions or hobbies,
and cannot reconcile with a meaningless life.

 

[soonatpeace777888]

Drugs and Alcohol

 

[woh6]

Nothing. I just have to live like this until I can ctb

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case I just don't wish to suffer in this dreadful and pointless existence, the thought of decaying from age really just doesn't interest me, existence isn't something desirable as it only just causes harm, only death can bring me the relief I search for, only death can bring peace from suffering. I'm only still trapped here as suicide just is so unnecessarily difficult, it's such a disgusting world we exist in where we are denied the right to cease existing in peace.

 

[Shin_Q753811]

Everytime I think about CTB theres a small voice inside of me telling me my reason to do it is pathetic, that I was born lucky and that people have exponentially worse lives than me and still live on.
I really hate this part of my mind, thats why I pray I will meet someone thats suicidal, befriend them and we'll gently "push" eachother, so that the inner voice has nothing to say.

That's one of the main reasons basically.

 

[Costrecce]

My sisters and fear/survival instinct

 

[rosenwasser]

If anything, it's the social responsibilities. I care deeply about the climate crisis, to me it's an enormous tragedy caused by human greed and selfishness. There are a few things I do in that community where it would be hard to find someone to replace me (not becaused there aren't skilled ppl but because I do it for free).
There is a part of me that wants to see the end of all those lawsuits, wants to see our side win.
It often pales against the reasons why I would be more at peace dead but it keeps me here for the time being.

 

[turntechGodhead]

i feel a lot of guilt leaving my loved ones behind like some ppl need me like my brother or my gf but i simply cannot live like this anymore n i wish i could just ctb already but i can't i can't let them be exposed to what i hv been exposed

 

[leloyon]

Bucket list and lack of reliable method.
Once I have a reliable way to go and have done what I want to do, I'm gone.

 

[museumofthunder]

My boyfriend and family. I want to stay alive for them, even if I'm struggling.

 

[not_telling]

I answered none, but really the only thing keeping me alive is fear of dying. But once that's over, method or time or whatever don't matter to me, I gues dying is dying either way. At least that's how I think right now, while afraid. Maybe someday it'll change.

 

[Alessa_Silent_Doll]

If I could CTB or pass away for any external reasons, why not? Now, personally I developed a specific pleasure on challenging myself, for two reason: The first, because I am curious how far I can get by doing things are meaningful for me lately, and the second reason, I only desire to see the faces of those who humiliated me and never believe on me. I guess I am looking for retribution/vengeance/divine justice?

 

[snowlance]

Lol I love how job has no votes. Cuz everyone hates working.

 

[vitbar]

Largely habit I think, though since going on antidepressants I am enjoying hobbies and what little socialising I get.

 

[passivethought121]

Habit and compulsion. Living for things that my brain has turned from trivial to significant.

 

[rainseahorse]

i just still have hope that i can create a stable life for myself. i'm completely fine with being dispassionate about how i make money. i plan to use my free time to find hobbies and passions that provide me with reasons to live on.

 

[snowcloud9]

There should definitely be a bullet point for can't overcome survival instinct and fear of death. I'm sure if everyone had easy access to N, way less people in this forum would still be here.

 

[peace_van]

There should definitely be a bullet point for can't overcome survival instinct and fear of death. I'm sure if everyone had easy access to N, way less people in this forum would still be here.

Yeah, many replies are on this point. Sorry I forgot this

Everytime I think about CTB theres a small voice inside of me telling me my reason to do it is pathetic, that I was born lucky and that people have exponentially worse lives than me and still live on.
I really hate this part of my mind, thats why I pray I will meet someone thats suicidal, befriend them and we'll gently "push" eachother, so that the inner voice has nothing to say.

That's one of the main reasons basically.

Same feeling here. Whenever I vent my despair to my parents, they tell me that someone is in a way worse situation than me and they still lives on.
But the reality is that everyone has a different mindset, and we cannot be forced into those optimists' thinking. It's unfair.

Even though I realized this kind of thought is bad, when my boyfriend expresses his hard situation, I still sometimes use my parents' way of 'comforting'...
Terribly I've been taught like this... And I can't find a better way.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm still here because I don't want my CTB to upset my Dad. I don't really draw that much strength from relationships now though. They simply serve as tethers. I used to draw nearly all my strength from my creative job. That was my major crutch in life. I don't have the same enthusiasm there now though. Now- it's all about treading water and distraction. Zoning out. I still have to do my creative job. That's still way preferable to a normal job and I still care about doing a good job. Still- it's all about trying to lose myself for a few hours- in work plus a film or music on in the background. I also comfort eat which makes me fatter, which makes me feel worse. What sadist designed us like this? The things we enjoy and crave are usually bad for us.

 

[peace_van]

Lol I love how job has no votes. Cuz everyone hates working.

lmao I foresaw this result. This option is listed mainly out of my personal reason.

My dear grandpa is the one who based his life on his job as an agricultural researcher.
Even in his final years, he was still thinking about his work, conducting research and reading and writing articles.
I was deeply moved.
The terrible thing was that, with his weakening body, no one other than me understood and helped him.
His will was deliberately ignored or even brutally treated by my parents.
I felt like seeing they were literally killing him, cutting his spiritual cornerstone...
And I could do nothing to stop this...

He passed away two years ago. The pain is long-lasting.
I feel deeply regretful for being a coward, I did not dare to stand up for him at that time...
How I want to reunion with him and be his assistant in another world