Discussion What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear "Self-harm"?

[peerlesscucumber]

I asked around my irls, and the answers that come the most are either "attention seeking", "big mental issues", and "dramaticism".

Starting these conversations on a deeper level wouldn't be the smartest move for me irl, but I am still curious what point of view people have on self harmers

 

[EvisceratedJester]

The first thing that comes to my mind is just someone harming themself physically. That's kind of it...

 

[leloyon]

The first thing that comes to my mind is just someone harming themself physically. That's kind of it...

Yeah, first thing that comes to mind is someone cutting themselves, personally. Then burning is the second thing, probably because I burn myself rather than cut.

 

[peerlesscucumber]

Yeah, first thing that comes to mind is someone cutting themselves, personally. Then burning is the second thing, probably because I burn myself rather than cut.

Cutting does seem to be the first thing that people jump to when they hear Self Harm ngl....
Really, there needs to be more rep couse it seems like the general image they have of us is "emo girl cutting herself"

 

[amnesia999]

I asked around my irls, and the answers that come the most are either "attention seeking", "big mental issues", and "dramaticism".

Cutting on myself makes some kind of chemical change happen in my brain that makes my stress level decrease and it's damn near instantaneous. You could call it a way to cope, although not exactly the best one. My therapist really doesn't like me doing it and is trying to get me to stop.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Cutting does seem to be the first thing that people jump to when they hear Self Harm ngl....
Really, there needs to be more rep couse it seems like the general image they have of us is "emo girl cutting herself"

I find it pretty annoying how self-harm is always portrayed as something only pretty, skinny, white teenage girls from middle-class backgrounds do. It makes it harder for those not a part of that demographic to be taken seriously.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

The first thing that comes into my mind is why somebody would even self harm in the first place? I guess I just have a different neurotype to others. I abhor all types of suffering whether it's small or big and I want to avoid suffering for as long as possible. I can't comprehend why somebody would want to intentionally bring suffering upon themselves but to each their own I guess

 

[kyhoti]

Cutting first, because I have had a cutter in my life. Second is a picker, very close to a cutter, because I'm a picker i.e. compulsively (and sometimes unconsciously) scratching/chewing on myself until I bleed.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

The first thing that comes into my mind is why somebody would even self harm in the first place? I guess I just have a different neurotype to others. I abhor all types of suffering whether it's small or bad and I want to avoid suffering for as long as possible. I can't comprehend why somebody would want to intentionally bring suffering upon themselves but to each their own I guess

When you are hurt your body releases endorphins to help with the pain and to relieve stress. It's not uncommon for SHers to become addicted to these endorphins. Many SHers also experience self-hatred and may partake in SH as a form of self punishment.

 

[rozeske]

The first thing that comes to mind is the existence of a deeper pain that initiated the need and urge to self harm in the first place. The pain behind the pain is always the first thing that comes to mind.

 

[PinballWizard39]

When you are hurt your body releases endorphins to help with the pain and to relieve stress. It's not uncommon for SHers to become addicted to these endorphins. Many SHers also experience self-hatred and may partake in SH as a form of self punishment.

I've SH'd for approx 26 years. It started off really minor but as the years went past, the injuries got worse and worse. This was because in order to get that same 'high' (endorphin rush), the injuries needed to get worse - the high from minor injuries wasn't there after a while, and so, like a drug user, the 'dose' (extent) needed to be more. I definitely think SH is addictive.

 

[N33dT0D13]

First thing that comes to mind is cutting. Next thing to come to mind is how good it feels just slapping or punching yourself super hard in the face. Next thought is "oh wow I am fucked up why don't I just cut like a normal person"

 

[CatLvr]

The only time I have SH'd (cutting) was when I was on a buttload of pysch drugs prescribed by a psychiatrist. Literally got pissed off at what is the hamster wheel of "mental health care" in the US and dropped out -- stopped seeing doctor and stopped all the pills that were making me worse, not better (not that anyone actually listened to me). I'll be damned -- guess who stopped cutting? Yep. Me.

This was the same period of time that I first began obsessively researching ctb. Not that I had not thought about it before, just that thinking about ctb and deciding to act on ctb are two entirely different things and I had every intention of acting on it while I was under this psychiatrist's care. I was taking all those pills because EVERYBODY said it would make me better, not worse. And NOBODY LISTENED when I told them the pills were making me worse.

A white hot raging anger at being minimalized and not listened to apparently triggers the will to live in me. Ok, maybe not SI, but at the very least the obsessive drive to prove to those trying to control me that I AM smart enough to play their damn game and beat them at it.

 

[Steff1337]

First thing I think of is cutting, and then burning yourself, with the intention of distraction and showing your mental pain in a physical form.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Cutting and I'm squemish so, it tends to make me wince. But, in terms of emotions- sadness. This person is obviously suffering so much, they need some sort of outlet for it.

 

[Imagined_Euphoria]

I'm a ultra-selfharm fantasizer. My fantasy is harming myself with a shotgun so much that my fucking head is splattered all over the wall. The first and final harm. So fun

 

[DefinitelyReady]

"Ouch."

 

[ForgottenAgain]

What comes to mind is cutting, but I think it's because that's how I SH in the past. I actually think medication may have made me SH more as I felt so immensely sad but couldn't cry so I'd make my body cry by SH. It started small but as time went on it wouldn't give the same amount of relief so would need to cut deeper. Then started painting with my blood since I had cut deeper and that's how it went. Never imagined harming oneself could be addictive but it was.

 

[Serial Experi Pain]

My scars and how they're still fucking there and incredibly obvious to everyone for the rest of my life.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

My scars and how they're still fucking there and incredibly obvious to everyone for the rest of my life.

Are they hypertrophic? If so, then you could try using silicone scar gel or you could go and get corticosteroid injections for it to help improve their appearance and flatten them.

 

[Serial Experi Pain]

Are they hypertrophic? If so, then you could try using silicone scar gel or you could go and get corticosteroid injections for it to help improve their appearance and flatten them.

Ohhhh, no, trust me these fuckers are baaad. Keloid and tears. I've tried various creams, gels, and lotions... I stopped on my arms when I took the trip "down the road" and it didn't work because people interrupted me.. I got drunk when I was 23 and while hanging out with friends I borrowed a tattoo gun which only had a single needle and doodled all over them. People had to stop me or I would have kept going. Hoping one day I can get a proper tattoo to cover it all much better, but I likely wouldn't waste the money on myself even if I had it.

For now only long sleeves and gloves will cover all the damage that I've done.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Ohhhh, no, trust me these fuckers are baaad. Keloid and tears. I've tried various creams, gels, and lotions... I stopped on my arms when I took the trip "down the road" and it didn't work because people interrupted me.. I got drunk when I was 23 and while hanging out with friends I borrowed a tattoo gun which only had a single needle and doodled all over them. People had to stop me or I would have kept going. Hoping one day I can get a proper tattoo to cover it all much better, but I likely wouldn't waste the money on myself even if I had it.

For now only long sleeves and gloves will cover all the damage that I've done.

Are you sure they are keloids? A lot of people tend to label their hypertrophic scars as keloids when the two are different.

Hypertrophic	Keloid
Pink or red	Red or purple
Collagen fibres are parallel to epidermis	Collagen fibres are all over the place and disorganized
scar tissue stays contain within the site of injury	scar tissue that grows beyond the site of injury

Some more photos for reference

If they are keloids then I don't know if getting a tattoo over them is a good idea. They don't seem to be suitable for tattooing. I'd recommend going to a dermatologist first.

 

[kinderbueno]

Cuts on my thighs because I used to cut there and although the scars are fading slowly they're still there

Second is a picker, very close to a cutter, because I'm a picker i.e. compulsively (and sometimes unconsciously) scratching/chewing on myself until I bleed.

I do this all the time, with my fingers and thumbs especially when I'm nervous. It's so hard to control in public too, because I get nervous

 

[Serial Experi Pain]

Are you sure they are keloids? A lot of people tend to label their hypertrophic scars as keloids when the two are different.

Hypertrophic	Keloid
Pink or red	Red or purple
Collagen fibres are parallel to epidermis	Collagen fibres are all over the place and disorganized
scar tissue stays contain within the site of injury	scar tissue that grows beyond the site of injury
View attachment 147450	View attachment 147451

Some more photos for reference

If they are keloids then I don't know if getting a tattoo over them is a good idea. They don't seem to be suitable for tattooing. I'd recommend going to a dermatologist first.

The only thing I have positive on my side is that they actually are on the lighter/white side, but that was after extensive uses of different gels and creams, and once even a little bar that looked like a mini-deoderant (which I wish I recalled the name because it was actually the product with the best impact). The smaller ones are more raised. I guess it would be a mixture, then, really...

I've met a few tattoo artists specifically on this topic that have looked them over and said they could do the job easily. That they would be noticeable to an extent if people looked close enough, but I have lived this long with them and I'm a broke ass bitch, so the most likely case is that I will die with 'em.

 

[Seered Doom]

When I first heard self-harm when I was 14, I thought about someone stepping on a lego before I realized it meant cutting yourself and stuff like that. Yes, I was that naive back then.

 

[CatLvr]

The only time I have ever cut I was on a buttload of psychiatric meds and can honestly say the only time I felt anything at all is when I was cutting. And even then I was so detached. It was like I was standing over myself, looking down and watching the pocketknife slowly cut through each layer of my skin.

I have to say it was one of the more interesting experiences I've had in my life. Stopped taking all those meds -- this psychiatrist had me on 18 Rxs -- and haven't felt the urge to cut since. In fact, it really wasn't that long ago and I can barely remember doing it.