moonsafari

moonsafari

ヾ(•ω•`)/ [F/18]
Mar 30, 2020
47
If there was something, anything that would make you reconsider committing suicide for a short moment, what would it be?

For me, I saw all my friends playing Animal Crossing about a month ago before it got very popular among COVID-19 quarantiners. I've always LOVED life simulator games and I felt so left out when I realized you had to have a Nintendo Switch to play the game. It made me feel sick to the stomach every time I saw someone else post excitedly about getting their brand new Switch and Animal Crossing(hence all the sold-out Nintendo Switch units during quarantine!) because I'm broke right now. The Switch costs $400. Out of despair, I searched up "How tf do teenagers afford such expensive gadgets?" and read a teen's answer: he was a freelance programmer and earned hundreds on the side apart from high school. Therefore he was able to afford expensive Apple products.

That made me feel horrible. My plan was to become a programmer too! That was my plan for life, but all scrapped now due to my CTB plans. For the entire day, I thought, "Why I can't just be alive, just to play this stupid Animal Crossing game - to live and work to save up for much more luxurious things in life?"

My chronic suicidal thoughts just returned the next day as I banned all "Animal Crossing" related content from my feed in order to avoid that sickly feeling of missing out.

1585924070069
 
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B

Blutsager

Experienced
Mar 11, 2020
220
I am sorry to hear this, friend.

Perhaps, and I hope this helps you, your desire for a Nintendo Switch could be the driving force to keep you pushing on. To see an end of this dark night, and when the sun rises again, to work as hard as you can to afford a Switch, and get to play Animal Crossing once and for all.

Otherwise, you know we support you in this community in your decision to either continue living or to end it. We all love you. Best of luck.

As for me, well, I don't have a date set for my ctb, I only have SN inside a drawer at my home in case I feel things get so desperate I gotta take it.
What would make me stop thinking about this? well, I mean the answer to your question above should be obvious: A vaccine.
other than that, I don't know what to say.
 
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Darkmoon Queen

Darkmoon Queen

Specialist
Apr 1, 2020
396
Hey, man. I also banned all Animal Crossing content from my feed.. but it was because I was sick of seeing it. :haha:

I'm sorry, just thought I'd try to make you smirk. >.> It is actually true though. >.>

To answer your question.. things that would make me reconsider suicide would be if, magically, people were decent to me and made me feel like they actually wanted me around. :mmm: Barring that, a lottery win so that I could travel and buy outrageously expensive things just to piss folks off for a brief second on social media. >.>
 
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moonsafari

moonsafari

ヾ(•ω•`)/ [F/18]
Mar 30, 2020
47
Hey, man. I also banned all Animal Crossing content from my feed.. but it was because I was sick of seeing it. :haha:

I'm sorry, just thought I'd try to make you smirk. >.> It is actually true though. >.>

To answer your question.. things that would make me reconsider suicide would be if, magically, people were decent to me and made me feel like they actually wanted me around. :mmm: Barring that, a lottery win so that I could travel and buy outrageously expensive things just to piss folks off for a brief second on social media. >.>

That's so funny! Glad to hear that someone else is doing that too.
I am sorry to hear this, friend.

Perhaps, and I hope this helps you, your desire for a Nintendo Switch could be the driving force to keep you pushing on. To see an end of this dark night, and when the sun rises again, to work as hard as you can to afford a Switch, and get to play Animal Crossing once and for all.

Otherwise, you know we support you in this community in your decision to either continue living or to end it. We all love you. Best of luck.

As for me, well, I don't have a date set for my ctb, I only have SN inside a drawer at my home in case I feel things get so desperate I gotta take it.
What would make me stop thinking about this? well, I mean the answer to your question above should be obvious: A vaccine.
other than that, I don't know what to say.

The reason I didn't plan on purchasing a switch until my CTB month is I had already purchased my second tenor saxophone(used) for ~$600. It was sort of on my bucket list, because music was one of the last things I was going to enjoy before passing. That left me broke(I'm still under the care of my parents). The next round of money I'm going to get is $250 for my birthday, so instead of saving that for a Nintendo Switch I'd rather spend some of it on SN materials and some small, enjoyable things before CTBing.

I don't want to leave a large collection of extremely expensive items when I go. It's not worth it and someone would have to sell all of that for me for less than what was originally paid for it.
 
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Conker

Conker

Specialist
Oct 22, 2019
351
Only a genuine divine miracle could change my mind, I don't buy into false hopes any longer.
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
If I got to see that sexy guy again I was seeing, yea that would help lol! He was amazing :halo:
 
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Underwhelming

Underwhelming

Before I Disappear
Mar 10, 2020
63
If you have a PC, you can emulate a switch with the Ryujinx Emulator.
 
disabledandhopeless

disabledandhopeless

Enlightened
Mar 1, 2020
1,893
I want a nintendo switch too but I'm saving my money for N :( try getting the nintendo switch lite it costs lesser
 
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Donk

Donk

Useless since day 1
Jan 3, 2020
1,129
if i didnt have to go back to work again. im scare stress from work will push me over the edge.
 
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braketimez

braketimez

Specialist
Mar 15, 2020
340
If I found a solution to my daily lethargy.
 
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angel_like_demon

angel_like_demon

Be gay. Do crimes.
Mar 31, 2020
16
Playing video games, mostly Stardew Valley and Minecraft. Also when I explore the world, sometimes I wonder if I should stay, since it's so beautiful... but it doesn't last long.
 
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moonsafari

moonsafari

ヾ(•ω•`)/ [F/18]
Mar 30, 2020
47
If I found a solution to my daily lethargy.

Do you just feel tired day to day, as in not having energy to do anything? I'm feeling that too. :ahhha:
I want a nintendo switch too but I'm saving my money for N :( try getting the nintendo switch lite it costs lesser

Yeah, I had actually looked into getting the Lite at once point. WIRED has a good article on the comparisons:
If you have a PC, you can emulate a switch with the Ryujinx Emulator.

Oh that's so cool! Checking it out right now.
 
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Notabadguy

Notabadguy

Mage
Feb 7, 2020
576
Going back one year, to take a complete different decision, since the one I took was bad for me and for my loved beings
 
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whereispeace

whereispeace

Member
Mar 18, 2020
95
It would take some kind of miracle, I think. I'm pretty far gone.
 
braketimez

braketimez

Specialist
Mar 15, 2020
340
Do you just feel tired day to day, as in not having energy to do anything? I'm feeling that too. :ahhha:

Yes, it's every day for the most part. I have to lay down every few hours to operate optimally. It sucks, haha.
 
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braketimez

braketimez

Specialist
Mar 15, 2020
340
It's called depression. It sucks.
Kind of. For me, it's more so just a physical fatigue, rather than the emotional/mental shit that comes with depression.
 
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ohhgeeitsme

ohhgeeitsme

Wizard
Feb 5, 2020
694
Kind of. For me, it's more so just a physical fatigue, rather than the emotional/mental shit that comes with depression.
Depression can manifest as physical fatigue, which is why some people don't even realize they have it. Of course, that doesn't mean you do, but something to maybe consider.
Money would solve a lot of my problems. So, a lot of money. It isn't the only reason though, so I would most likely succumb to suicide anyway but at least it would delay it because of the reduced stress maybe even by many years.
 
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avoid_slow_death

avoid_slow_death

Ready to embrace the peaceful bliss of the void.
Feb 4, 2020
1,244
Mine is tentative. Only thing that would get me to reconsider is if everything works out between me and the one person I live for....
 
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Starseedchip

Starseedchip

Born to Die
Oct 13, 2019
65
If the person I was in falling for spoke to me again, that would buy me some time
 
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braketimez

braketimez

Specialist
Mar 15, 2020
340
Depression can manifest as physical fatigue, which is why some people don't even realize they have it. Of course, that doesn't mean you do, but something to maybe consider.
Money would solve a lot of my problems. So, a lot of money. It isn't the only reason though, so I would most likely succumb to suicide anyway but at least it would delay it because of the reduced stress maybe even by many years.

I do have clinical depression. I just never connected pure physical fatigue to it...but you're right, it's all connected in the end.
 
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gnomeboy17

gnomeboy17

Specialist
Feb 11, 2020
355
The main thing for me is seeing someone being happy and successful but knowing that will probably never be my life so I might as well ctb rn
 
W

WhathaveIdone

Member
Feb 21, 2020
42
Maybe winning the lottery even then I'd only ctb in style
 
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moonsafari

moonsafari

ヾ(•ω•`)/ [F/18]
Mar 30, 2020
47
The main thing for me is seeing someone being happy and successful but knowing that will probably never be my life so I might as well ctb rn
Honestly, I think that comparing myself with others is a huge, huge problem. It's probably why I'm not self-confident or have much self-esteem. I can't get better until I learn to stop wasting my own time by comparing myself with others.
 
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faust

faust

lost among the stars
Jan 26, 2020
3,138
Never had any Nintendo/Xbox/PS/gaming PC in my whole life so if I wanted to play the game, I had to watch walkthrough :/
I don't think I could actually reconsider CTB because my schizoaffective is not curable.
I may have a lot of money, I can be the greatest writer ever, travel around the world as much as I can, but I will never run away from myself.
This will haunt me all the time.
 
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moonsafari

moonsafari

ヾ(•ω•`)/ [F/18]
Mar 30, 2020
47
Never had any Nintendo/Xbox/PS/gaming PC in my whole life so if I wanted to play the game, I had to watch walkthrough :/
I don't think I could actually reconsider CTB because my schizoaffective is not curable.
I may have a lot of money, I can be the greatest writer ever, travel around the world as much as I can, but I will never run away from myself.
This will haunt me all the time.
I see what you mean. I think there is a possible chance for reconsideration but it's not very clear for some people. I wanted all 358 Copic markers, and I bought that. I wanted a gaming pc, and my parents bought that for me. Same with my tenor saxophone and all the expenses to marching band for all my fours years of high school. And now I want the Nintendo Switch because it hurts to be left out. We all could have infinite money, but that's not gonna make up for the huge hole in my heart, or any of our mental struggles.
 
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faust

faust

lost among the stars
Jan 26, 2020
3,138
I see what you mean. I think there is a possible chance for reconsideration but it's not very clear for some people. I wanted all 358 Copic markers, and I bought that. I wanted a gaming pc, and my parents bought that for me. Same with my tenor saxophone and all the expenses to marching band for all my fours years of high school. And now I want the Nintendo Switch because it hurts to be left out. We all could have infinite money, but that's not gonna make up for the huge hole in my heart, or any of our mental struggles.
Oh, you play musical instruments too! I used to play the guitar very long time, but I am somehow not interested in this anymore...
 
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