Discussion What is some of the worst / meaningless / harmfull / unhelpfull advice you have been given?

[leopard_gec]

I feel like there's this belief where well meaning people belief that any attempt at trying to make things better is always worth it, they don't take the person past struggles in context, such as already haven been giving the same usefull advice for the 1000x time.

I think I actually really harmfull. As when the person doesn't react well to it, it is always that person issue and "oh well I tried my best" so skip. Which only furthers isolats and frustrates the person

I feel like most people do not have the resources to actually be able to help people.

 

[Lamentice]

"Wait it out, it gets better." "This will pass, all feelings are temporary."
"Maybe you need to take medication. You should really think about it."
"It's cause you isolate yourself, you need to reach out to people or no one can help you."
"[A] god is the only true one that can help you."
Just "". (This one is very personal. After giving as much of my emotional energy as I could to someone having similar mental struggles, putting my best into being engaging, offering long in depth responses, and asking questions, all I get in return is a hug emoji. They didn't have the energy to dish the same effort back, I understand, but it wasn't fair.)

Oh, the best one! "Happiness is a choice." That one is gold.

There are so many, I can't think of them all on the spot. But pretty much every response/advice I've ever gotten has been either deeply hurtful or infuriating (or both).

 

[leloyon]

"Throw some water on your face/stick your head in water if you feel suicidal so you stop focusing on it." - mental health nurse. seriously, he got paid to give this advice

 

[Grimpoteuthis]

I understand that people give advice out of good intention, yet absolutely no words can be truly helpful when your pain is a product of your system of subjective perception and individual experience, and their advice is a product of their own system or some generalized bullshit I can just read from google results.

Personally I hate when people tell me how much worse they have had and give me an unsolicited inspirational speech on how they overcame their self diagnosed depression. It makes me feel even worse knowing that they really have an unfortunate life comparing to mine.

 

[Torabol]

"Just be merrier and everything will work out." lol

 

[loopdaloop]

"Stop with the victim mindset"
"strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times"
"nihilism is pessimistic laziness"
OR just comparing suffering in general and because someone with a worse life than you isn't offing themselves, then how dare you do it...

tbh I don't care if I'm weak and lazy, I just want to be out of this stupid meaningless game of life and I don't buy any of the BS suicide gatekeeping.. I've heard it all

 

[bunsïy]

Just recently I was at the doctors for something unrelated, accidentally slipped and mentioned my depression. He looked me in the face and said I just needed to exercise then I would be happy... After that he went on a rant for over 20 mins about how the mind follows the body and i'd feel better if I just went for a walk. The best part was when he straight up said and I quote "have you ever seen a skinny depressed person?" lmaoo I was so shocked when he said that. He literally paused and waited for me to respond as if I would agree with him.

 

[Charlie-Bravo]

"It's cause you isolate yourself, you need to reach out to people or no one can help you."

It's like telling a cancer patient: "Oh your dying because you mutate your cells, just don't do that ok". With this logic they should also blame the fever victim for staying in bed, instead of going to work.

"Happiness is a choice."

Reminds me of rich, trust funds, kids telling poor people that the reason why they don't have money is their mindset

 

[Weeb]

I don't like to be told "there are other's whose lives are worse, how could you be upset?"
I understand the statement but this just makes me feel even worse about myself cause now I feel guilty for feeling bad despite my position.

 

[sometimes.sometimes]

"Look on the bright side. The abuse your father put you through made you stronger!"

There is no bright side when it comes to being abused as a child; if there was, I still would rather live my life without it happening.

 

[suicidalloser]

'call the hotline for mentals'
All of them — I can't remember just one
All the common ones.

I quote "have you ever seen a skinny depressed person?"

Yes—me

 

[Peerless_Cucumber]

"You only want to get out of here to ctb."
As in you should stay locked up longer. I don't care that you're scared about being locked in.
Great advice! Definitely didn't make me want to ctb even more.

 

[crimsonpool]

"at least you have a roof over your head/food/clothes etc" - thats surviving not living. i get it but it's incredibly unhelpful & im told this all the time
being told to pray - while i am religious, im beyond the point of that helping. lol
"exercise" - i physically cannot do this.& thats not going to make me not want to die anymore...
"it gets better/you'll be able to do _ in the future" - no it doesn't (from experience) and no i won't. people like to tell you it gets better probably because they don't want to believe that for a lot of us that is just not true & i get really angry when people tell me this even though they "mean well".

i don't think i've ever been given helpful advice honestly

 

[jemetire]

"Postpone your suicide until you're 100 years old."

 

[thornyrose]

"Just don't think about it."

 

[FailerQt.]

"Move on." Like, btch would already done so long ago if it was possible FFS.

 

[loyalskateboard]

"It gets better"

"Some people have it worse"

"I felt like that too until I realised I am in control of my own happiness"

"Just try something else (treatment)"

"(asks for help) what do you expect me to do?"

"You were destined to do great things"

"Everybody feels sad sometimes"

 

[LittleJem]

If you've tried everything for depression (ie every natural remedy/medication) then maybe the problem is spiritual

Said to me by a young woman about twenty years old working in a health food shop.

(I remember the days when I used to believe that hippie bullshit too...That you could think your way out of bad health etc... but still)

 

[Octopixie]

Where would all the people who depend on you be if you made such a selfish decision?

You matter to someone, somewhere even if you are unaware.

It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem (my problem is/was definitely not temporary)

The lord always tests his strongest and bravest warriors

 

[dumbgirlonline]

"You're too young to be suicidal!"

literally gets me pissed every. single. time.
It's usually some old person saying it too, no offense, but I don't want to be wrinkly and lame.
I want to die young and pretty yknow!

 

[Forever Sleep]

'The world is your oyster' type talk. When people rattle off all these ridiculous careers or fantastic lifestyles they say you could just magically switch too. Even worse- when they don't apply the same principle to their lives. They moan like hell about stuff but they don't want to hear it from you. They just tell you to 'look on the positive side'. It's no wonder people don't open up about how they feel when you look at the responses they get!

 

[HoleintheDark]

Every time someone gives me advice that essentially boils down to "find another distraction" I die a bit more on the inside. Do these people not hear themselves when they talk?? Sometimes they literally just tell you to drink/do drugs/ some other socially-accepted form of escapism. How is that even a life worth living

 

[Boudika]

"Don't worry, everything will be fine"

 

[Cress]

"Maybe you just need to exercise more And Go outside and sit in the sun" And another one was "Why can't you just wait until you die of old age and do it the natural way?"

 

[Morgengrauen]

"horizontal for attention, vertical for results" ~a teacher who discovered i self harmed

 

[Cage]

"horizontal for attention, vertical for results" ~a teacher who discovered i self harmed

As someone who watches Family Guy and recognizes this exact quote from the show, I'm sure 99% sure they were quoting it at you try and sound "relatable" or "edgy" or whatever. I had an English teacher who made those same sorts of jokes too, making light of suicide and depression and all this stuff. It's truly pathetic what some teachers will do to try and build rapport with their students.

 

[Morgengrauen]

As someone who watches Family Guy and recognizes this exact quote from the show, I'm sure 99% sure they were quoting it at you try and sound "relatable" or "edgy" or whatever. I had an English teacher who made those same sorts of jokes too, making light of suicide and depression and all this stuff. It's truly pathetic what some teachers will do to try and build rapport with their students.

nah i'm pretty sure this teacher never watched any adult cartoons beyond the boomer stuff and never was the kind of "whats up fellas" guy, just slipped out his mouth without thinking before and then apologised profusely. still stuck with me especially since it was very telling how most of the staff at the school actually viewed mental health issues displayed so clearly.

 

[Cage]

nah i'm pretty sure this teacher never watched any adult cartoons beyond the boomer stuff and never was the kind of "whats up fellas" guy, just slipped out his mouth without thinking before and then apologised profusely. still stuck with me especially since it was very telling how most of the staff at the school actually viewed mental health issues displayed so clearly.

I would definitely beat his ass for you if I could. I would torture him and fuck him up and use a razor blade to cut his body up all over. Make him feel all the pain and suffering in one day that you've experienced your whole life ;)

 

[Morgengrauen]

I would definitely beat his ass for you if I could. I would torture him and fuck him up and use a razor blade to cut his body up all over. Make him feel all the pain and suffering in one day that you've experienced your whole life ;)

It's fine now, was almost 10 years ago. and if i had the means i'd probably had become a school shooter and blown his guts out myself before stepping and spitting on him lol

 

[Cage]

It's fine now, was almost 10 years ago. and if i had the means i'd probably had become a school shooter and blown his guts out myself before stepping and spitting on him lol

The ideal way to CTB

(for the FBI agent watching my screen that's a joke)