Discussion What is it like knowing when and how you’re going to die?

[OopsIdidntwanttodie]

At times I feel at peace, sometimes I feel like I need to do as much as possible before I go. I remember being asked this question before I had the intent to CTB. But now that I actually know when and how I will die, it feels weird and incomplete honestly. Whether or not you planned a date/method what would you do after you had this information? How do you feel knowing that on that day, everything will be gone?

 

[Silvermorning]

I don't have a date, after shit hits the fan ,and desperation becomes unlivable , the body shuts down, and you know it's time.

 

[imjustanemptyshell]

I don't have a date, after shit hits the fan ,and desperation becomes unlivable , the body shuts down, and you know it's time.

yeah I feel the same

 

[stygal]

Lately I feel like nothing I did so far has had any meaning. Like I could have laid in bed all those years with the same outcome.
I don't understand how people keep on working day-in day-out? Is it for some kind of "end goal"? Idk. In the end we all leave this planet.
I used to imagine (nothing concrete) but something would eventually happen so that my life finally makes "sense".
But now my time is nearly up (I have a date in mind) it's just all one (possibly) wasted bloop that resolves into nothingness.
The only thing I like about my end is that I don't have to push myself as hard when it comes to my perfectionism/work/family.
I just enjoy being on the internet or finally drawing a little again since I don't have years and years to plan ahead.

 

[StateOfMind]

Feels pretty good.
I don't know when for sure but hopefully soon.
"Just" a matter of SI and the encroaching cold weather which bugs me.

 

[NodusTollens]

At times I feel at peace, sometimes I feel like I need to do as much as possible before I go. I remember being asked this question before I had the intent to CTB. But now that I actually know when and how I will die, it feels weird and incomplete honestly. Whether or not you planned a date/method what would you do after you had this information? How do you feel knowing that on that day, everything will be gone?

I have my method with a backup option, though no specific date set.

Catharsis. Knowing that I can go whenever I choose, now that- is liberating. By in far the best part is holding it in my hand knowing what it will be used for, with none the wiser.

Sometimes when I'm feeling down, I just pick it up for relief.

 

[ecmnesia]

now that I know when I will die, assuming I don't chicken out or get spotted, my feelings regarding life fluctuates and are a too volatile. at times, I feel sad to go, at times I feel bored with all the wait, at others indifferent, at times i feel extatic, extremely free, as I never ever been before, and most of all there is also an immense sense of peace.

Catharsis. Knowing that I can go whenever I choose, now that- is liberating.

this.

 

[Weary Soul]

Sad, angry, grief, relief, peace .... it all circles around in my head at different times.

 

[ecmnesia]

now that I know when I will die, assuming I don't chicken out or get spotted, my feelings regarding life fluctuates and are a too volatile. at times, I feel sad to go, at times I feel bored with all the wait, at others indifferent, at times i feel extatic, extremely free, as I never ever been before, and most of all there is also an immense sense of peace.

this.

found the word i was looking for. I feel detached as well, from everything and everyone

 

[AutoTap]

Impatient. But now I'm looking for another one. Still impatient lol. I love my family and dogs but I seriously want to stop suffering

 

[OopsIdidntwanttodie]

Catharsis. Knowing that I can go whenever I choose, now that- is liberating. By in far the best part is holding it in my hand knowing what it will be used for, with none the wiser.

Sometimes when I'm feeling down, I just pick it up for relief.

I couldn't agree more. The idea of dying any other way gives me so much anxiety. For once in my life, where things have always been out of my control, I feel the greatest sense of peace knowing that I can choose when I want to tap out.

I feel detached as well, from everything and everyone

Same here. It's almost as if I could slip away from reality and I wouldn't even notice. I wish with all my being that things wouldn't have to be this way for anyone.

 

[NodusTollens]

I couldn't agree more. The idea of dying any other way gives me so much anxiety. For once in my life, where things have always been out of my control, I feel the greatest sense of peace knowing that I can choose when I want to tap out.

Exaaaactly. Honestly though, lately though I've really started to feel a sense of peace- maybe I'll CTB soon.

 

[Antigonish]

I feel like the scariest part about death is that it can come at anytime anywhere. So people live there lives differently, they worry and run around and just get into stupid loop that they dont realize they're apart of.

But with knowing when and where you gonna gives you a kinda power. You care about stupid things less. Because you know things 10, 15, 20 yrs from now, want concern you. You understand just a little that this is you're life, an uncontrollable force, and that just this once you're actually in full control. I cant make someone love me, not hate me, I cant stop world hunger, I cant end wars and disease. I cant put a stop to racism, discrimination, and oppression. But you know I can do, at anytime of my choosing, any place in want. And just that feeling alone is just about the only thing one can really possess in life.

 

[peacechoice]

I don't have a date, after shit hits the fan ,and desperation becomes unlivable , the body shuts down, and you know it's time.

Absolutely. Me too. Once everything goes to shit and I'm no longer me, I'm ending it. I know when to go when it's time.

 

[MZALA]

I am scared