Discussion What is going on?

[SolomonKado]

I keep noticing more and more posts on peoples threads that make me feel that "Pro Choice" is not honored her anymore. More and more "don't give up" and "keep fighting." It's invalidating people's feelings. Have the Pro Life people flooded this site because they can't shut it down?

Pro Life are just words. Are they going to come to your rescue and walk you through life. Side by side. Shielding you from each and every trauma. If people wanted to get better they'd go to "Recovery." That's what it's here for.

The one dominate thing that is taught in rehab and through psych treatment is that a person has to make the choice to get better. You can't force them. If you force them then their next fall will be twice as bad. Pro Life people are setting people up to definitely CTB. I've been through 20 years of therapy, rehab, psych meds, and the thing that keeps me going to CTB is because others have no respect for you as a person.

They want to force their views on you. If you don't believe their view they will keep hounding you until you either lie and agree or you run away really fast.

 

[Kerrtu]

I haven't felt the pro-life vibe as much, though I hear what you're saying. Depending on the persistence of the commenter, if it starts to feel real pushy, I tend to hit ignore. In Goodbye threads I feel many of us do come together to provide any sort of comfort we can - not necessarily in a pro life way, rather in a tremendous amount of respect. When pro lifers offer trite advice in goodbye threads I try to just move along. My focus is on the person leaving, to do whatever I can to ease their passing and just be there for them.

There was a point in my life when I seriously considered training to become a death doula. There is something quite sacred in being with someone as they're about to pass, and it's an honor really, to be there in that moment. Emotional yes, and beautiful as well.

INELDA - for anyone curious.
International End-Of-Life Doula Association

The other day though, when I stepped out, I noticed a June Bug trying to cross the sidewalk and it was headed straight for the street. I picked him up and placed him in the grass and thought to myself, I guess I'm not as pro-choice as I thought I was…maybe little guy had enough and I shouldn't have intervened.

sigh

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I keep noticing more and more posts on peoples threads that make me feel that "Pro Choice" is not honored her anymore. More and more "don't give up" and "keep fighting." It's invalidating people's feelings. Have the Pro Life people flooded this site because they can't shut it down?

Pro Life are just words. Are they going to come to your rescue and walk you through life. Side by side. Shielding you from each and every trauma. If people wanted to get better they'd go to "Recovery." That's what it's here for.

The one dominate thing that is taught in rehab and through psych treatment is that a person has to make the choice to get better. You can't force them. If you force them then their next fall will be twice as bad. Pro Life people are setting people up to definitely CTB. I've been through 20 years of therapy, rehab, psych meds, and the thing that keeps me going to CTB is because others have no respect for you as a person.

They want to force their views on you. If you don't believe their view they will keep hounding you until you either lie and agree or you run away really fast.

If you see someone do that, kindly press report

 

[SolomonKado]

I haven't felt the pro-life vibe as much, though I hear what you're saying. Depending on the persistence of the commenter, if it starts to feel real pushy, I tend to hit ignore. In Goodbye threads I feel many of us do come together to provide any sort of comfort we can - not necessarily in a pro life way, rather in a tremendous amount of respect. When pro lifers offer trite advice in goodbye threads I try to just move along. My focus is on the person leaving, to do whatever I can to ease their passing and just be there for them.

There was a point in my life when I seriously considered training to become a death doula. There is something quite sacred in being with someone as they're about to pass, and it's an honor really, to be there in that moment. Emotional yes, and beautiful as well.

INELDA - for anyone curious.
International End-Of-Life Doula Association

The other day though, when I stepped out, I noticed a June Bug trying to cross the sidewalk and it was headed straight for the street. I picked him up and placed him in the grass and thought to myself, I guess I'm not as pro-choice as I thought I was…maybe little guy had enough and I shouldn't have intervened.

sigh

When I see someone say "I wish you wouldn't" or "there could be a better way" when someone says goodbye is really taking the persons feeling and saying they are wrong. Or I see posts when people are trying to vent and I see someone saying that the person should focus on something good or try to do "these" things to feel better. Isn't that recovery talk. My issue is I'm seeing it more and more making me wonder if these threads might as well be called "recovery" or "I love life."

I thought this was a place where people say "I get it", "I feel that too", and "Your not alone." Unless I'm wrong. I just know how I feel when someone tries to fix my problem for me. Like the 100's of other things I did were BS and this persons way is the only way. I come here because I'm exhausted. Because I'm done. I've tried everything.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

Yeh I get you-if you're just talking about useless platitudes and that sort of stuff then I agree. In the long run I feel like the site has more chance of staying up if at least ONE person on every thread is urging further reflection at least though. I suppose the best sort of response would be "are you 100% sure and not just being impulsive" and "do you want to talk about anything first?" I don't think that's too invalidating and the invitation to talk is there if they wanna take it up or they can feel free to ignore. And of course letting them know you respect their decision either way. Yeh platitudes and inspirational bullshit works on the normies not us lol.

 

[SolomonKado]

Yeh I get you-if you're just talking about useless platitudes and that sort of stuff then I agree. In the long run I feel like the site has more chance of staying up if at least ONE person on every thread is urging further reflection at least though. I suppose the best sort of response would be "are you 100% sure and not just being impulsive" and "do you want to talk about anything first?" I don't think that's too invalidating and the invitation to talk is there if they wanna take it up or they can feel free to ignore. And of course letting them know you respect their decision either way. Yeh platitudes and inspirational bullshit works on the normies not us lol.

But people here want help to not feel alone. Not told your just overreacting.

The offering to talk on PM is great. Giving a person a safe place to talk with someone. To just get it out.

 

[Duality]

I haven't necessarily noticed more pro-life comments on the Suicide Discussion subforum, but I have noticed a lot more vent posts than the years prior when I was still lurking. A lot of these venting posts are not necessarily the user wanting to die, at least that's the impression I get, so it invites more comments on how to not feel so depressed, how to encourage them to feel better, etc. rather than discussion about methods. I think as the site gets more attention, more people sign up and it feels more natural to vent in the SD subforum.

There probably should be a 'Venting" section, or have these venting threads moved to the Recovery subforum, or perhaps have an entirely new 'Methods' subforum because I am finding it more difficult to find the resource threads with actual discussion about methods. They're being buried really far down.

 

[Kerrtu]

When I see someone say "I wish you wouldn't" or "there could be a better way" when someone says goodbye is really taking the persons feeling and saying they are wrong. Or I see posts when people are trying to vent and I see someone saying that the person should focus on something good or try to do "these" things to feel better. Isn't that recovery talk. My issue is I'm seeing it more and more making me wonder if these threads might as well be called "recovery" or "I love life."

I thought this was a place where people say "I get it", "I feel that too", and "Your not alone." Unless I'm wrong. I just know how I feel when someone tries to fix my problem for me. Like the 100's of other things I did were BS and this persons way is the only way. I come here because I'm exhausted. Because I'm done. I've tried everything.

Yeah, the direct "I wish you wouldn't" comments…when I CTB, I don't want to hear that/read those. I understand it's difficult to be in those threads, but it's wise to think of what one is about to say to someone who has made their decision. It does feel invalidating at such a crucial, if not thee most crucial point in one's life, one's ultimate autonomy. I want to say "read the room", you know?

Vent posts do tend to veer into recovery talk, which I feel can get dicey. I read some, I show reaction, I don't usually comment in depth or at all as it's a vent and place to speak/write freely. Only certain occasions when I've been through a similar experience, I'll comment, mainly so the OP doesn't feel alone.

I think I saw a recent post regarding the loneliness aspect of suicide and the title alone, I was nodding in agreement.

I'm a bit disappointed as tonight I was planning to finally catch the damn bus but it's looking like it'll be next weekend.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

There probably should be a 'Venting" section, or have these venting threads moved to the Recovery subforum, or perhaps have an entirely new 'Methods' subforum because I am finding it more difficult to find the resource threads with actual discussion about methods. They're being buried really far down.

You can put this into the "Suggestions" Forum.

 

[FuneralCry]

I cannot stand anything pro-life, it certainly disgusts me, like if someone wants to cease existing then that's the decision of that person, it's not other people's business and suicidal people deserve to have their decision respected, forcing pro-life delusional nonsense onto people is so insulting.

And I just don't understand the pro-life mindset anyway, I don't see what is supposedly so "good" about something so futile and harmful as existing to the point that people wish to prolong the suffering of those who wish to leave. It's sad how those people are so deluded to the point that they are unable to accept that nobody is obligated to continue existing here, pro-lifers just create harm and any suicide prevention is just prolonging suffering, that's all it could ever be.

 

[conarc]

I keep noticing more and more posts on peoples threads that make me feel that "Pro Choice" is not honored her anymore. More and more "don't give up" and "keep fighting." It's invalidating people's feelings. Have the Pro Life people flooded this site because they can't shut it down?

Pro Life are just words. Are they going to come to your rescue and walk you through life. Side by side. Shielding you from each and every trauma. If people wanted to get better they'd go to "Recovery." That's what it's here for.

The one dominate thing that is taught in rehab and through psych treatment is that a person has to make the choice to get better. You can't force them. If you force them then their next fall will be twice as bad. Pro Life people are setting people up to definitely CTB. I've been through 20 years of therapy, rehab, psych meds, and the thing that keeps me going to CTB is because others have no respect for you as a person.

They want to force their views on you. If you don't believe their view they will keep hounding you until you either lie and agree or you run away really fast.

Apparently, a lot pro lifers and anti SN trolls have flooded the community, yes...

 

[アホペンギン]

Yeah, I've been seeing this too and I admit that I even developed the tendency to act this way. After we have been recieving lots of DDoS attacks I think many peoples perspective on things changed and to prevent us from recieving another wave of said attacks they became more pro-lifer rather than pro-choice.

And you are right, the more and more these pro-lifer mindset oriented people force their ideas on us, the more and more the sudden worsening of our mental health will affect us, pushing us further to ctb. The pro-lifers think as if they have all the power and all the authority over us and assume they can force us to believe their ideas, its sickening. They wait until we supposedly agree with them then they leave us to rot.

Apparently, a lot pro lifers and anti SN trolls have flooded the community, yes...

This was mostly the case shortly after TantaCRUEL uploaded his video in regards to SaSu. I don't know about the anti SN trolls, I haven't noticed it. But if they are real then they should be against all methods because all methods won't let you have a second chance.

 

[whywere]

I am 100% pro-choice period. I have my very personal thoughts and feelings, BUT I NEVER EVER would or will influence and /or push my ideas and opinions on others ever.

If someone is whatever, that is their choice and theirs alone. Herre in the U.S. we are at it again about abortion. All I ever tell anyone here in the U.S. is pro-choice and I nor the government should tell a lady what to do with her body.

The EXCAT same thing with the aspect of suicide. To tell someone either that life is pure hell and off oneself OR suck it up and get better, is never ever me. Suicide like abortion and other aspects of life are /can be one and done and that is for the individual alone to make.

Like I have mentioned on here before, that I have been accused of being pro-life by some and that is the biggest farce ever. I HATE it when someone wants to tell me how to live, what to wear, the list goes on.

To me Sanctioned Suicide is and should be a place of comfort and everyone looking out and helping others, this site should be about all of us as a community where we look out AND respect each other's views.

If someone wants to ctb or do recovery, that is up to the person, and I be damned if I am going to get on a pulpit and spout off either about how hellish life is OR how wonderful it can be. With the prior said, I have been told that HEY Walter, this site has suicide in its name, well duh.

I love helping and making folks smile and feel good about themselves NO MATTER what they choose to do with their lives and I full respect whatever choice or choices they make, without influence from me.

Walter

 

[Cute_&_Loving]

I hope it's okay that I'm writing it here. Something happened to me last Sunday so I freaked out, left all the chats and closed my profile. It wasn't anything personal in any way. That's just my stupid BPD kicked in, which means I act impulsively, thinking I'm doing the right thing. I didn't mean to stop talking to you. I'm sorry if my stupid act hurt you in any way. I really hope you're doing fine!!!

 

[brokeandbroken]

I keep noticing more and more posts on peoples threads that make me feel that "Pro Choice" is not honored her anymore. More and more "don't give up" and "keep fighting." It's invalidating people's feelings. Have the Pro Life people flooded this site because they can't shut it down?

Pro Life are just words. Are they going to come to your rescue and walk you through life. Side by side. Shielding you from each and every trauma. If people wanted to get better they'd go to "Recovery." That's what it's here for.

The one dominate thing that is taught in rehab and through psych treatment is that a person has to make the choice to get better. You can't force them. If you force them then their next fall will be twice as bad. Pro Life people are setting people up to definitely CTB. I've been through 20 years of therapy, rehab, psych meds, and the thing that keeps me going to CTB is because others have no respect for you as a person.

They want to force their views on you. If you don't believe their view they will keep hounding you until you either lie and agree or you run away really fast.

There is some truth to this. First and foremost I usually say I hope people find peace.... Second you are correct I don't think society does a great job for depression. it throws pills at you and then basically just goes "you better yet" and that gets irritated when you aren't. Expecting you to get better even though your circumstances causing it haven't changed. People want quick solutions to complicated problems. It doesn't work that way. Complicated problems rarely are solved by quick solutions... You are very correct as well society rarely walks with you while you are going through hard times, usually just the opposite. They run for the hills.

 

[BornByGhosts]

I keep noticing more and more posts on peoples threads that make me feel that "Pro Choice" is not honored her anymore. More and more "don't give up" and "keep fighting." It's invalidating people's feelings. Have the Pro Life people flooded this site because they can't shut it down?

Pro Life are just words. Are they going to come to your rescue and walk you through life. Side by side. Shielding you from each and every trauma. If people wanted to get better they'd go to "Recovery." That's what it's here for.

The one dominate thing that is taught in rehab and through psych treatment is that a person has to make the choice to get better. You can't force them. If you force them then their next fall will be twice as bad. Pro Life people are setting people up to definitely CTB. I've been through 20 years of therapy, rehab, psych meds, and the thing that keeps me going to CTB is because others have no respect for you as a person.

They want to force their views on you. If you don't believe their view they will keep hounding you until you either lie and agree or you run away really fast.

I'm not pro-life i am anti-regret. If anything I ever said to anyone here made them feel disrespected, I am truly sorry.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I thought we were going to stop calling the pro-lifers "pro-lifers", and start calling them "anti-choicers", which is what they are. "Pro" has a positive connotation to it while "anti" has a negative connotation. Why shower the "pros" in anything positive?

 

[dialogos]

Well I'm going to say, unlike Solomonkado, many of the members here are Teenagers, who unlike Solomon and some of you, couldn't get 20 years of therapy and meds. The point about discussion wasn't to INVALIDATE but to make them examine and QUESTION if CTB is what will solve their problem and for some like Solomon kado this is true.
However for teenagers who are going thru hormonal, physical changes, who may be overwhelmed by sexual abusers or even just failing school, do you really want people on this forum to amplify their suicidal feelings? Like "I find it cruel you can't be allowed to take your life because school is so cruel" like some kind of death cult?
Or how about that sexually and physically abused woman who wanted to die because "Im not a good person, I deserve to die"? So I'll tell her yes I validate your feelings , you're very bad. Instead of going after the criminal who did this to her, yay you are a bad person yes you deserve to die.
I'm sorry for being sarcastic.
A balance has to be struck here.
A sense of Justice for the oppressed
And real concern for confused people who may still make it.
And Respect for those who cannot because of dire circumstances and that includes me.

The problem with totally eliminating dissenting opinions is becoming a cult.
And thinking what works for us is the only thing that will work for others.
I think we're all bigger people than that.