Discussion What I'm truly afraid of

[Ｓanctioned Suicide]

I feel like I'm a bit weird in this regard, but I'd like to say I'm an Atheist but the truth is I don't really know what I am religiously. Although I want to say I believe in absolutely nothing in the religious sense I'm not sure that's truly the case. I struggle with that a lot, and I know people say not to because it will drive you to insanity, it isn't that I really want to know how or why we're here, it's that the idea of being here in the first place is kind of crazy and scares me all together. Even though I would like to say I'm an Atheist I feel like there's no possible way that we are just here, but then in the sense of a creator I also feel like it would just create a paradox of who created it's creator and so on. I also find myself thinking I'm dead and in hell whenever a trip goes badly like on LSD or Mushrooms, and one of the LSD trips I had kind of had a crazy impact on my mental state. I'm really afraid that if I do kill myself I'll be dead and in hell, or like still conscious but with no body or something crazy like that... Also because of that trip I had I find myself thinking I already am sometimes in day to day life. Like everything is just playing out to trick me but deep down I know I'm already dead. I know this sounds crazy and probably really is irrational, but I've had some states of being that I would honestly not like to permanently be in like recently when I took Ketamine, I would HATE to be stuck like that forever and if that's what hell is like I would rather live in a constant struggle and pain as I already do. I'm afraid I'll die and be put into a state like that, what's you guys view point on my thought's is it irrational?

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

not irrational at all. it's my fear too. I have a kind of plan. What I think I'll do is while I'm dying I'll repent of my sins and accept god as lord and saior blah blah (since I have fear of the christian hell). and then hopefully I'll end up in heaven. still it's too risky.

and then there's the suicide methods. killing yourself is the problem because it's much harder to do these days. lots of complications.

 

[Ｓanctioned Suicide]

not irrational at all. it's my fear too. I have a kind of plan. What I think I'll do is while I'm dying I'll repent of my sins and accept god as lord and saior blah blah (since I have fear of the christian hell). and then hopefully I'll end up in heaven. still it's too risky.

and then there's the suicide methods. killing yourself is the problem because it's much harder to do these days. lots of complications.

Yeah, it's kind of the same, as in the Christian hell, I don't know if it's where I was forced into Christianity as a child or what but that's like my only fear that I can really think of... I want to ctb so badly but it's almost like that has a physical ability to stop me. I feel like I might have to take a ton of xanax to ctb or something. Even though I've fully died from fentanyl overdoses twice and while I was dead I didn't see anything at all I was literally just dead.

 

[AntHills]

Even if our existence is purely the result of biological circumstances, that doesn't mean that consciousness isn't a tangible entity that scientists just haven't been able to observe and document due to a lack of sufficient knowledge and resources. Nobody had observed electromagnetic waves until about 150 years ago.

Hell, even if consciousness is the result of purely mechanical brain activity, there is no telling what you will experience in the moments between life and death. Most NDE stories told by non-religious people recount events like astral projection, floating through a space tunnel, and meeting benevolent entities. Even if these experiences are purely the result of hallucinations, anybody who has done good drugs or suffers from schizophrenia knows damn well that the line between hallucinations and reality is so thin that it might as well not even exist. So I would say that an afterlife is a very real possibility even if you don't believe in souls or higher powers, and it's not something you should fear as much as prepare yourself for, because most of the people that ever lived have died, and you're going to find out what is waiting for you on the other side sooner or later.