What if you could kill just a part of you?

[ygornimoy]

What if you could kill just a part of you?

I mean, what if you could change your thinking pattern? Or change some of your behaviors?

The Joker did it. But he went evil.

In my case, I am almost 50, and, since the cost of living here in Panama is high, I am forced to change the apartment with my mom, a domineering woman who is a religious fanatic, rarely leaves the house, so I take advantage of that.

I am thinking of changing the following: become more sociable, but people tend to take advantage of me because I am always anxious.

I am thinking of working more as a freelancer. I am a programmer, but I use Upwork, Guru, Freelancer, and those sites exploit people.

I want to kill that part of me that is always anxious. And little by little, separate myself from my mom. Too old to be here with her.

You could go and skydive, or insult a bully that terrifies you, or stand up to your domineering parents.

 

[blivogade]

Id most likely also kill the anxious part of me, would probably have a completely different life if it wasn't for the anxiety thats plagued me for so long.

 

[UnluckyFew]

Interesting question!

I haven't given it a lot of thought, but here's what I think having not given it deliberated it extensively; If I could destroy any part of myself then I would destroy my consciousness, my subjective first person experience, rendering me a "philosophical zombie". This would allow me to cease to exist, but those around me would be none the wiser and wouldn't be able to tell the difference. I would essentially die without anyone knowing. This of course presumes that it is possible to destroy just your consciousness and that "philosophical zombies" even can exist. How consciousness arises is something that still puzzles us.

 

[itsamadworld]

When I tried to kill-part-of-myself, between the ages of 28 to 34 years old, I became a religious fanatic! IMO, you don't want to look to god to kill part of your human nature....so take care there.... But then again, I have BPD- I was hearing voices then, had returned home from the middle east from the war , no one was really helping me, I was juggling jobs, bf's, I had many responsibilities. I think I fucking lost it, and turned to religion....At 35, is when I flipped back, and became that same Agnostic hard-core again! I don't hear voices as much anymore. I like this better.

I agree with you- your mom is religious.. I found out those are the most intolerant, difficult people in the world. ...........At 39, I am just SAME suicidal Agnostic cynic I pretty much always was growing up (except for those unfortunate 6 religious years.) I like this me better, the non-religious, rebellious me....And I don't want to kill her, (that part of me) because I would have to kill myself! Sometimes I feel it's my destiny to die by suicide....My destiny was stolen from me, because I was close to a successful attempt my early 20's, but then someone found me, and robbed me of it...causing me many more years of hell on this earth. I could have avoided all that religion, because I was trying to become a different person, trying to kill part of myself! It didn't go well for me!...If you should decide to kill part of yourself.....I would chose your method and timing carefully...... :) Cuz change is not always for the better....

 

[Klee]

I thought about this the other day, and it's an interesting concept. On one hand, if you're going to kill yourself, what do you have to lose by trying to change the things you don't care for? For me, alcohol kills a part of me that I dont like - the anxious, shy part.

 

[StuckAF]

What if you could kill just a part of you?

I mean, what if you could change your thinking pattern? Or change some of your behaviors?

The Joker did it. But he went evil.

In my case, I am almost 50, and, since the cost of living here in Panama is high, I am forced to change the apartment with my mom, a domineering woman who is a religious fanatic, rarely leaves the house, so I take advantage of that.

I am thinking of changing the following: become more sociable, but people tend to take advantage of me because I am always anxious.

I am thinking of working more as a freelancer. I am a programmer, but I use Upwork, Guru, Freelancer, and those sites exploit people.

I want to kill that part of me that is always anxious. And little by little, separate myself from my mom. Too old to be here with her.

You could go and skydive, or insult a bully that terrifies you, or stand up to your domineering parents.

That would be a dream come true... never tho...

 

[Oyoy]

I would start by killing my appitite.

 

[Bct]

Would love to killing my anxiety, depression, & low self-esteem part of me, but that seems impossible to do (or takes too long time)

 

[BlockedMind]

If I could forget about a certain someone, I might've considered not to.

 

[Erase.myself]

If I could kill a part of me...it would be to kill my mental illness that make me feel debilitated, lost, ill, stuck, defective.

My Borderline Personality Disorder, Social Anxiety, Bipolar Rapid Cycling and Anorexia.

My mental illnesses plus my circumstances contribute to my wanting to ctb.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I wish I could kill off a part of me. Especially my mental issues- PTSD, severe anxiety, depression, bpd, Asperger's. Physical issues- ibs, fibromyalgia, insomnia. I also wish I could kill off all my past and traumas. I just want to wipe the memories from my brain because they haunt me daily.

 

[Shinbu]

I wouldn't do that. Since I'm not hiding away from my true self. I really don't like being human, and being subjected to fate on how I die. Life is a inconvenient mess.

 

[ygornimoy]

I am 50, and my life still sucks, but I am gonna try my best to continue. Perhaps things can improve, but I am not exactly optimistic, and the past torments me too.