Venting What if it always was my fault?

[cifwithcoffee]

Is it possible that I'm lonely because of my weight? I'm a girl, since I was a little kid I received comments about my body, not only from other kids. I remember that one time a teacher in elementary school shout at me because I was too fat to use skirts, so they forced me to only wear pants. I also remember my classmates pretending that I didn't exist, and when I asked they why they're were doing that they said "because you're fat and weird". When my parents (I was only 8) divorce I thought that it was my fault, I thought that my dad was angry towards my mom because I was fat so I started throwing up my food until I vomit blood, and sometimes I still doubt if my father really loves me because I'm ugly. Later in highschool I noticed that people treated me differently when I was skinny, they were so friendly and caring, but when I gained weight they began to ignore. So sometimes I think that is my fault that I don't have friends, because I'm not good looking enough.

(English isn't my first language so that's why my writing is so bad)

 

[peachxgirl]

Coming from a fat person with same trauma like yours, you are not at fault and was never your fault to begin with. Those around you took the time out of their day to make the choice to be disgusting human beings because they think too highly of themselves. You have every right to exist, be loved, and be respected just like any other human beings regardless of your weight and size. When I was still living in the Philippines, I was literally bullied everyday for being a "pig" and if I fought back, I was the mean one. Sadly, in situations like these you can never really win until you take yourself out of the situation or the people around you.

 

[Baron]

I've known plenty of fat people, that have many friends and are socially active. Although almost all of them are men. Seems like it's harder for women, because theres so many beauty standards and such. Many people will judge you for your appearance and that's something that's bad, but it won't change. Sad world