At least having the option of the SN means you have a reliable way to exit this world at a time of your own choosing and you won't feel so trapped here, I consider those who have a method like SN right now as being fortunate. And I certainly understand the feeling of just wanting to rest, to me such a thing as peace could never exist in this life and I believe there to be no real relief from suffering as long as one stays here.
But anyway I wish you the best in whatever you decide.