PlasticFace
My story is in my about me, if you'd like to know.
- Feb 16, 2023
- 95
So much shit has happened in the past week and it's getting pretty ridiculous. Like, life-altering events. I made a thread a couple of days ago about seizing so I won't re-explain everything and that has really fucked me up, emotionally and physically. I can't stay still, having full-body tremors. I've dealt with tremors before so I didn't think it'd be that big of a deal but it is. The little things that I can't do normally anymore are piling up. When I shower, I'm always getting soap in my eye. When I make coffee, I'm always spilling it on myself and getting burnt. When I walk around my house, I'm always stumbling. I can't even pet my dog anymore because I'm scared I'm going to accidentally hurt her. I live alone and I'd like to keep it that way. I try to keep reminding myself that I'll get used to it and I'll find tricks to make it easier but I don't have the mental capacity for that right now. My mom did a lot of fucked up shit to me when I was a kid but I still call her every day and today she told me that she was sick and she couldn't even get out of bed. I don't know if I should feel bad or not and that makes me feel evil. I work remotely and I have to sit at a computer all day and read tiny numbers and write emails and it's so hard because I can't keep still. When I had only neck spasms this was so much easier because I could hold my head steady if I needed to do anything but now I can't. I can't even sleep because I'm constantly moving. I wouldn't have to deal with any of this if I had just done it right when I was 14. I'm scarred, disfigured, and incapable of taking care of myself apparently. I have to look at myself in the mirror every single day and face the biggest mistake I've ever made, and it's right on my face.
TLDR: My mom is sick, I had so many seizures in a short amount of time that my brain was deprived of oxygen long enough to give me full-body spasms, might lose my job, I can't sleep, and I'm whining like a baby.
TLDR: My mom is sick, I had so many seizures in a short amount of time that my brain was deprived of oxygen long enough to give me full-body spasms, might lose my job, I can't sleep, and I'm whining like a baby.