What has your depression, anxiety or other mental health struggles cost you?

[BoneWeary57]

I've struggled with depression and anxiety for decades. Before some profound and life changing losses, I had a good life, I was able to function/cope, mostly..but once some things in life shifts, both the depression and anxiety expoentially worsened. And yes, I've tried every suggestions imaginable to allivate their grip, including therapy and medications. Some relief occured, but mostly, their grip on my entire life, remained/remains unchanged.

For me, the mental health costs have been financial stability, employment stability and a social life. I do not have any retirement savings or accounts, no personal savings, no one to fall back on in that sense, I live paycheck to paycheck and not all times is that successful. I've had a multitude of opportunties professionally but have either flaked out on the job due to the depression/anxiety/lack of confidence/unreasonable fears or just not started the job at all after accepting it. I have lsot count of how many jobs I've worked or been hired for but not followed through on in the past 15 yrs. Socially, I have withdrawn to the point I have zero friends. None. Not a one. Other than my spouse and store clerks, I don't interact with anyone. I am employed but not in an office setting so interaction with my coworkers is 99% via phone/email/text.

I think about how much different, possibly, life would be/would've been if it weren't for the mental health stuggles I deal with..would I, at 57, be in a leadership position? Financially secure? Have close knit group of friends? Would I not think about ending my life every single day? Would I be living versus exisiting and waiting for..what I don't even know anymore.

Would life be, not perfect, but technicolor instead of vanilla beige? What would it feel like to have peace of mind?

Does anyone else identify with what I'm saying?

 

[opheliaoveragain]

"What would it feel like to have peace of mind?"

This. Felt. Heard. Understood. @BoneWeary57 I identify with a lot of your story despite being younger. Thank you for sharing. Feel free to PM me <3

 

[Silent_cries]

Yeah I do. For me it has cost me the opporturnity to live a normal life. Had no normal childhood, nor teenagehood because I had no friends and would play video games all day instead as social gathering were to difficult for me due to there being too many social cues and expectations to follow, and I've never had a normal adulthood either because I have been in and out of the psych non-stop. It eventally cost me my freedom too. It never cost me much in money tbh as hospitilization is mostly free and we have governmental support for therapy where I live (plus it's free if you're under 18), but it cost me litterary everything else. I don't get to be with my family anymore. I am unable to stay in touch with my friends due to my anxiety and I've never had the opporturnity to be in an actual relationship before other than a few online ones witch still kinda sucked since I wasn't able to hook up with them. It has taken litterary everything from me but my money. Ppl who thinks mental illness only costs you money have no idea what they're talking about. It costs you so much more than that. It can take litterary everything from you and that's the worst part about it. I definitely feel with you so, so much! Mental illness truly is a bitch!

 

[Mebius]

i failed at life (recluse, drop out, 1 year neet, etc).

 

[Silent_cries]

i failed at life

Me too.

 

[1980]

I've struggled with depression and anxiety for decades. Before some profound and life changing losses, I had a good life, I was able to function/cope, mostly..but once some things in life shifts, both the depression and anxiety expoentially worsened. And yes, I've tried every suggestions imaginable to allivate their grip, including therapy and medications. Some relief occured, but mostly, their grip on my entire life, remained/remains unchanged.

For me, the mental health costs have been financial stability, employment stability and a social life. I do not have any retirement savings or accounts, no personal savings, no one to fall back on in that sense, I live paycheck to paycheck and not all times is that successful. I've had a multitude of opportunties professionally but have either flaked out on the job due to the depression/anxiety/lack of confidence/unreasonable fears or just not started the job at all after accepting it. I have lsot count of how many jobs I've worked or been hired for but not followed through on in the past 15 yrs. Socially, I have withdrawn to the point I have zero friends. None. Not a one. Other than my spouse and store clerks, I don't interact with anyone. I am employed but not in an office setting so interaction with my coworkers is 99% via phone/email/text.

I think about how much different, possibly, life would be/would've been if it weren't for the mental health stuggles I deal with..would I, at 57, be in a leadership position? Financially secure? Have close knit group of friends? Would I not think about ending my life every single day? Would I be living versus exisiting and waiting for..what I don't even know anymore.

Would life be, not perfect, but technicolor instead of vanilla beige? What would it feel like to have peace of mind?

Does anyone else identify with what I'm saying?

Hmm, every job I've ever had, my self respect, the way I abuse others, the list goes on…

 

[Edpal247]

I have lost virtually everything. My house, my businesses, my sanity and my self respect. I am a terrible person in many ways. Really sweet in others.

 

[divinemistress36]

Everything

 

[AlouA]

i failed at life (recluse, drop out, 1 year neet, etc).

drop out of what, if i may ask?.. i dropped out of 12th grade 2 times because of my social anxiety .. I hate myself.

 

[LiveOrganization97]

The ability to enjoy all I obtained after pushing myself to better my situation for so many years.

 

[Felodese]

It's cost me my entire life. I've been depressed since early childhood. Everything has always been tainted or ruined by it.

 

[riamu]

I'm autistic, and I truly think I would've been able to live a 'normal' life without autism. I would've struggled at times, sure - i have a few mental illneses and laziness is a character flaw of mine - but I'm completely unable to cope with unexpected changes, i struggle in social situations and i can't accept the unfairness of the real world. i feel mentally stunted at 14 or 15. the best i'd be able to accomplish in life is part time job and a relationship with someone who can tolerate me enough that they'd rather be married to be than be alone, and that's with the ideal circumstances.

Some people have to be unremarkable, some people have to be absolute failures. I accept that that's my role, I just won't suffer through it for 80 years

 

[Gangrel]

Some people have to be unremarkable, some people have to be absolute failures. I accept that that's my role, I just won't suffer through it for 80 years

that's so relatable it hurts

 

[WantThisToEnd]

I'm autistic, and I truly think I would've been able to live a 'normal' life without autism. I would've struggled at times, sure - i have a few mental illneses and laziness is a character flaw of mine - but I'm completely unable to cope with unexpected changes, i struggle in social situations and i can't accept the unfairness of the real world. i feel mentally stunted at 14 or 15. the best i'd be able to accomplish in life is part time job and a relationship with someone who can tolerate me enough that they'd rather be married to be than be alone, and that's with the ideal circumstances.

Some people have to be unremarkable, some people have to be absolute failures. I accept that that's my role, I just won't suffer through it for 80 years

All I feel capable of is a part-time job too, though my family expects me to do more. I don't have any skills though or passions.

If I ever get married, that'll be the scenario for me too. Someone who would rather marry me than be alone. If you're a boy age 29ish or older, maybe we can marry each other. Lawl.

I'm an unremarkable failure too. I don't know how to get out of it though. CTBing is so hard.

 

[numbed one]

Schizophrénia and dépression.. paranoïa .. it costed me Time and everything else

 

[riamu]

All I feel capable of is a part-time job too, though my family expects me to do more. I don't have any skills though or passions.

If I ever get married, that'll be the scenario for me too. Someone who would rather marry me than be alone. If you're a boy age 29ish or older, maybe we can marry each other. Lawl.

I'm an unremarkable failure too. I don't know how to get out of it though. CTBing is so hard.

a part time, work from home job is the dream, right? too bad jobs like that only go to people with a good cv;; i get it, if i was hiring people i'd rather employ the person with experience too, but when you're stuck in a situation like we are it feels impossible to get out. everyone else at least has the benefit of a shitty job or decent grades, people like us have nothing :/

and i'm a 20 year old lesbian - though if you happen to hit absolute rock bottom then hit me up lol.

 

[WantThisToEnd]

a part time, work from home job is the dream, right? too bad jobs like that only go to people with a good cv;; i get it, if i was hiring people i'd rather employ the person with experience too, but when you're stuck in a situation like we are it feels impossible to get out. everyone else at least has the benefit of a shitty job or decent grades, people like us have nothing :/

and i'm a 20 year old lesbian - though if you happen to hit absolute rock bottom then hit me up lol.

I have a part-time shittyish job. Just doesn't pay that well and my parents want me to get a better full-time one.

I had a girlfriend once. I will definitely hit you up if I hit rock bottom. Or you can pm me now and we can chat. Up to you.

 

[AlouA]

a part time, work from home job is the dream, right? too bad jobs like that only go to people with a good cv;; i get it, if i was hiring people i'd rather employ the person with experience too, but when you're stuck in a situation like we are it feels impossible to get out. everyone else at least has the benefit of a shitty job or decent grades, people like us have nothing :/

and i'm a 20 year old lesbian - though if you happen to hit absolute rock bottom then hit me up lol.

If you don't mind me asking, are you still in school?

 

[WantThisToEnd]

If you don't mind me asking, are you still in school?

Where's SEA? If you have access to a gun or opioids, I'm happy to be your partner in crime.

 

[AlouA]

Where's SEA? If you have access to a gun or opioids, I'm happy to be your partner in crime.

Southeast-asia , i live in specifically in the Philippines

 

[Hollowman]

Everything exept my dead end job.

 

[riamu]

If you don't mind me asking, are you still in school?

dropped out of uni :/ tried my best but got forced into inpatient treatment halfway through my second year so my grades dropped and i wasn't allowed to retake. it sucks massively, and i think about how my life would've gone if i wasn't admitted pretty often. but you can't change the past i suppose

 

[WantThisToEnd]

Southeast-asia , i live in specifically in the Philippines

Darn. I'm from Canada.

 

[numbed one]

Where's SEA? If you have access to a gun or opioids, I'm happy to be your partner in crime.

Wanna bé the third side of tha crime " ctb "

 

[Trakehner]

Everything. All social relationships, my education, any chance at living a normal life. I am very isolated and feel alienated from everyone. I wish I had kept everything to myself.

 

[cowboypants]

I've struggled with depression and anxiety for decades. Before some profound and life changing losses, I had a good life, I was able to function/cope, mostly..but once some things in life shifts, both the depression and anxiety expoentially worsened. And yes, I've tried every suggestions imaginable to allivate their grip, including therapy and medications. Some relief occured, but mostly, their grip on my entire life, remained/remains unchanged.

For me, the mental health costs have been financial stability, employment stability and a social life. I do not have any retirement savings or accounts, no personal savings, no one to fall back on in that sense, I live paycheck to paycheck and not all times is that successful. I've had a multitude of opportunties professionally but have either flaked out on the job due to the depression/anxiety/lack of confidence/unreasonable fears or just not started the job at all after accepting it. I have lsot count of how many jobs I've worked or been hired for but not followed through on in the past 15 yrs. Socially, I have withdrawn to the point I have zero friends. None. Not a one. Other than my spouse and store clerks, I don't interact with anyone. I am employed but not in an office setting so interaction with my coworkers is 99% via phone/email/text.

I think about how much different, possibly, life would be/would've been if it weren't for the mental health stuggles I deal with..would I, at 57, be in a leadership position? Financially secure? Have close knit group of friends? Would I not think about ending my life every single day? Would I be living versus exisiting and waiting for..what I don't even know anymore.

Would life be, not perfect, but technicolor instead of vanilla beige? What would it feel like to have peace of mind?

Does anyone else identify with what I'm saying?

It cost me my life. I can't have relationships, job anything. I can't live a normal successful life.

 

[Mebius]

drop out of what, if i may ask?.. i dropped out of 12th grade 2 times because of my social anxiety .. I hate myself.

Drop out of university 3 semesters in