What does romantic attraction feel like?

[dreadwolf]

Strange question but what is it like to be romantically attracted to someone? I have never been in a romantic relationship and have never been attracted to anyone in a romantic way, I guess that kinda makes me aromantic lol. I have had people ask me out but I have always turned them down which makes me feel like an asshole but I just don't understand the way they feel. So what is it like to have that feeling?

 

[Yuki K]

I can't really explain stuff well, but I'll try my best. I have fallen in love 2 times in my life, (both were one-sided) but you would like to be around that person most of time. Get to know them, talk to them, touch them (not necessary sexual ones but mostly like having your arm around their shoulder, holding hands or fingers with them and little kisses on the cheek) Then trying to make them feel comfortable and making them smile or laugh (making someone I like laugh is like such an achievement for me) Then the thought of pursuing a relationship with them starts to linger around in your mind. I think that's most the feeling of romantic attraction. Do correct me if I'm wrong

 

[itsallpointless]

It feels like you would want to give that person your all, and give them all your love and support, doing things with the best intention for them and hoping to establish a shared sense of trust and security together.

 

[dreadwolf]

I can't really explain stuff well, but I'll try my best. I have fallen in love 2 times in my life, (both were one-sided) but you would like to be around that person most of time. Get to know them, talk to them, touch them (not necessary sexual ones but mostly like having your arm around their shoulder, holding hands or fingers with them and little kisses on the cheek) Then trying to make them feel comfortable and making them smile or laugh (making someone I like laugh is like such an achievement for me) Then the thought of pursuing a relationship with them starts to linger around in your mind. I think that's most the feeling of romantic attraction. Do correct me if I'm wrong

I think you've explained this very well, I can't really see myself doing anything like this for another person but it seems nice. I have always wanted to ask others this question since the closest reference to understanding romance is through books/movies, I think it might be weird to ask something like this to someone in person. Well maybe if I were a kid it might not be strange but since I'm an adult... I think that there is this expectation that everyone eventually understands and feels these emotions. Thank you for sharing, I hope you can meet someone who can give you this, who can make you feel special.

It feels like you would want to give that person your all, and give them all your love and support, doing things with the best intention for them and hoping to establish a shared sense of trust and security together.

I see, sounds kinda scary to give so much to a person(s) lol. But I guess that's the point? So very strange to me. I appreciate your response my friend, thank you.

 

[itsallpointless]

I think you've explained this very well, I can't really see myself doing anything like this for another person but it seems nice. I have always wanted to ask others this question since the closest reference to understanding romance is through books/movies, I think it might be weird to ask something like this to someone in person. Well maybe if I were a kid it might not be strange but since I'm an adult... I think that there is this expectation that everyone eventually understands and feels these emotions. Thank you for sharing, I hope you can meet someone who can give you this, who can make you feel special.

I see, sounds kinda scary to give so much to a person(s) lol. But I guess that's the point? So very strange to me. I appreciate your response my friend, thank you.

Isn't that essential for a healthy sustained long-term relationship tho? Even in a short-term one those are things you would need to build a strong bond and share joy as a family

 

[orca87]

So many levels. One of which is that you feel like you cannot be without that person. It's literally like starving when they're out of your life. Physical pain, flashbacks, … all the stuff

Am

 

[dreadwolf]

Isn't that essential for a healthy sustained long-term relationship tho? Even in a short-term one those are things you would need to build a strong bond and share joy as a family.

Yes, great point, I guess you're right. I tend to have problems with relationships in general mainly because I lack the want/need to have them. Anything beyond a friendly surface level can become uncomfortable and tiring for me to deal with. It becomes a job for me, which is of course a terrible way to view relationships lol. But I do acknowledge what is needed to create strong bonds with others just as much as I acknowledge my general disinterest in nurturing those bonds.

 

[sick.faery]

you get butterflies at times when they're around you or when you think about them, you're jealous when they talk to cute people of the opposite sex, you get mad when other people think they're cute, after hanging out with them and they leave you feel really depressed and hollow and you can't wait to see them again even though they left 2 secs ago, your body betrays you and has a mind of its own (like for ex lets say your body will act like your nervous and you'll physically act awkward when mentally you dont feel that way; it's weird to explain), you want to spend a lot of time with them, you like thinking about them and it feels so good, when you're with them you never want to leave

 

[NumbItAll]

it's when you suddenly realize that everything you thought you wanted doesn't matter, because you have everything you need right there

but then the dream turns into a nightmare when they throw you in the trash where you (i) belong :)

 

[Forever Sleep]

I've had limerance quite a few times- obsessive crushes on people. It's a bit like that feeling you get on a rollercoaster drop- butterflies/excitement/fear. Then, you get all tongue tied when you try and speak to them... Do you not even have film stars etc you find attractive?