What does existence mean to you?

[golgappa]

What does existence mean? Why haven't your CTB Yet? Is it cause you are waiting for life to get better? If yes that what is it that you are waiting for?

 

[Arachno]

Idk, I haven't ended my life yet because I don't have access to any good methods (I could write here how it's way too hard for me to get access to a method but I think that in my case it's just that I'm a coward and a lazy and incompetent sack of shit) and beacause I'm terrified of failing and the afterlife . I would like for life to get better, but I've already lost most hope for that. Existence doesn't mean anything to me, I just happened to be born so I exist, I just can't find any meaning to my life.

 

[Chaosire]

I'm a nihilist at heart, but still a romantic about hope. And slowly trying to get myself into absurdism.
Nothing is inherently meaningful, until we attach meaning to it. I used to think life was meaningless, but I also do like having fun and doing thing I enjoy and hanging out with friends. But at the same time, everything I do is just a repetition of things I've already done in the past.

I'm just existing for the sake of existing atm, and that takes more energy than I get back from it.
Which is one of the reasons I'm seriously considering cbt'ing again.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me existence will always be something horrific as it's the source of all suffering and under no circumstances would I wish for it, I see existence itself as the most terrible tragedy that just torments and tortures existing beings until they die anyway, I see it as a burden to be conscious and aware in this cruel, torturous existence that just creates so much harm all for the sake of it, no matter what I'd always prefer to not exist as after all only in death am I unable to suffer and this existence is finally no longer my problem. I'd never wish to prolong all this pointless suffering there was never a need for just to die in agony from old age, it terrifies me how a human can exist for so long with no limit as to how much they can be tortured and as long as I exist I'll only ever hope to never exist again, human existence just feels like a mistake to me that I'd never wish for and it causes me so much pain how I cannot just painlessly die to escape from all future suffering, I never should have existed at all.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Existence or awareness that we exist? I feel like it's mostly our self awareness that is causing the majority of the problems. Not that anything sentient likely has an easy time of it but, maybe they are better equipped to just live day to day and accept exitence. Rather than railing against it, worrying about the future, resenting the past, comparing ourselves to others, actually wanting to die.

As to why I'm still stuck with existing- I don't want to put my Dad through my suicide. Plus, I'm frightened of the process itself and the possibility of failing an attempt and making matters worse for myself.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

In my case, existence means torture and agony. There isn't a single thing in existence that I enjoy. The only reason as to why I'm alive is because I don't have the mental endurance to escape my parents home in the middle of the night and drown

 

[cosmic-realism]

A puppet in a puppet show.I didn't ask to be this puppet at all.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

existence is the worst thing imaginable. existence is prison torture slavery an evil imposition . that's just a little of it.

some of the reasons i haven't killed these 30 trillion monstrous cells i'm imprisoned in is fear of failing and remaining alive with brain damage

 

[Gorbolflungus]

I don't think there's any sort of intrinsic meaning to existence really. My parents met each other, they did the deed and now I'm here, It's like a random event that just so happens. I'm sure people can find meaning in their lives and stuff, but I don't think that's the absolute truth, you gotta kinda just gaslight yourself into that, which I don't see a problem if it makes people better, but sometimes I think people put too much value on existence in a way that inadvertently causes more harm than good.

 

[plutoaquarius]

Listened to an audiobook by Richard Smoley and there was a chapter which highlighted how we all have a special function that comes unique to us.

"In a freer society it becomes the individual's task to find his own place and serve best to his abilities. Each of us at some point in development has a sense however faint of some unique purpose we have called into being which no one else can fill."

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Existence is a terrible burden that I wish I didn't have. If only suicide was as easy as snapping my fingers and ceasing to exist, I'd have been gone a long time ago. The only reason I haven't CTB yet is because it's scary and there's no guarantee that doing so will give me the result I want.