Discussion What does depression feel like fpr you? (Semi rant but also question)

[Livingvsdying25]

I thought the last few days that I wasnt as depressed anymore as a lot of my depression isn't what I identify as depression but as CPTSD freeze response they look similar but they are different.


So this last week I was actually experiencing jus pure depression and thought it was done but im not so sure. Have seen many quotes of depression being anger or whatever.

It's like 7am. I just woke up briefly but lately I've been sooo pissed off at things.

Was remembering a convo with my friend and they said some stupid shit about "maybe with blah blah you'll be able to work and afford the supports you need" paraphrasing... but are they fucking stupid? In what world in anything thats going on with me am I going to be able to work? If I was I'd already be doing so?

They are starting to simplify things and its really pissing me off. Don't fucking say half ass things like that and if u mean something else fucking say it but don't compartmentalize and minimize my struggles.

I will never be able to work for a very long fucking time both for mental and physical reasons. I swear people choose what they fucking want to hear.


My mind was just randomly going through some things. It seems like unless your impacted by physical or mental health severely or chronically then you just don't understand. Feels like everyone around me is up and about while im stuck mostly. It's frustrating.

All that to say lately I've just been more irritated by ignorance and other things. Lately looking at my life it feels like im more depressed. Depression actually makes the aspects of decision making or doing some things easier.


It's been weird but things have been more irritating maybe im just sick of the people around me. I don't feel connected or that I really like anyone in my life rn.


How does depression feel for you?/ how do you know ur depressed vs ur true feelings just coming to surface?

 

[josephk]

Different flavoure. Sometimes irritability, sometimes lethargy. Sometimes panic or anxiety

regarding your friend- people just don't get it. They seem programmed to accentuate the positive , and if there isn't one they'll invent one

 

[NeverReallyHere]

You know those moments when you wish the ground would open up and swallow you? It feels like that, except all the time.

 

[m1v]

To me It feels like my world is ending, and it's weighing on my shoulders, pressing me down with an unbearable force. At times like these, I can clearly see everyone living their own lively world. Conclusion - it doesn't feel pleasant at all.

 

[Bluebunnysky]

Depression feels like a computer virus of the brain

 

[Aisley]

People have a real hard time wrapping their heads around depression, or any mental illness. You tell them you're surrounded by brick walls, floors and ceiling, and they're like, no, this wall here is mud, see? You could dig your way through this spot, if you get yourself a pick and a wheelbarrow and some fucking water. Always the list, or a, b and c. But they can't even see what they're talking about. It's frustrating to make people understand, and I just never even try it. They either get it, cuz they're in it, or they don't. Just as you said.

I've been depressed for so long I don't differentiate between 'depressed thoughts' and my own. They're all mine. The real low slumps, tho, idk. Hard to remember what those are like, in a specific way. I just know when I've been out of them for a few weeks, and take the system off auto pilot. Maybe that? Feels like auto pilot? Like someone else is driving? Sorry to be so vague, but maybe it's even hard for us to wrap our heads around.

 

[HopefulSleep]

Every day feels the same, nothing makes fun, everything feels like work, I saw everything that ever interested me

 

[suicidalloser]

getting an incision from the ear to the other. long, sharp pain

 

[misarexic]

paralyzing. feel like im just rotting in my room. i hate the depression routine, i hate the moping around, and i hate the sheer inability to do anything about my state of mind.

 

[sparkdarkmark]

Extreme agony. On the verge of crying but I don't cry and I get that heavy feeling in my throat.

 

[BrainShower]

I used to punch myself in the head until I had giant lumps, to distract myself from the despair and agony of my undiagnosed and untreated depression.
The punching felt much better than the depression. And I also thought that maybe if a few brain cells died, maybe my brain chemistry or something would change. It didn't though.