Discussion What do you tell yourself when you feel like you can't cope?

[Forever Sleep]

To be transparent, I'm not actually looking to 'recover'. I do feel as if I need to remain alive while my Dad is still here though. So, I kind of have to go through some of the motions of recovery, without actually aiming for it. Maybe that's part of the problem though.

It's becoming increasingly difficult though. Just to function and do the things required to support life. Work, domestic chores, hygiene.

I suppose it's the defiant logic that I don't in fact have to do these things that results in me putting up so much resistance to them.

If you experience this though- what do you do to tackle it? I feel like I'm trying all I can think of and, it still isn't motivating me.

I put music or films on in the background- to make it more fun. I try to focus on the end result- which will make my living experience nicer. I try to focus on how bad it could get if I don't do these things. I am at least afraid of the shame of outright failure and intervention I suppose. I try other supporting things- exercise to improve my physical health so I'm at least more physically able to do these things. I don't fancy seeing doctors and going on antidepressants again but, I'm trying herbal remedies again. I tell myself I simply have to do these things but then, I suppose I know I don't deep down.

I can't think of anything else though. What do you do? What works best? Does it get to the point where you feel like you can't cope? How do you convince yourself that you can?

 

[whywere]

Me? I think about my next vacation and hold on to that.

Also having the folks here sure helps a lot,

I also love EDM music and that is a good diversion for me also.

I have pain meds that help with the chronic pain, which really helps on those bad pain days.

Walter

 

[Xi-Xi]

Like why where said, I start thinking about all the reasons why I should be alive. Like, vacations, the next actually decent day outside, whenever this feeling of despair ends, etc, etc.

And if that doesn't work, I put all of my trust into my medication.

 

[SatinSoul]

I like looking for smaller, easily achievable joys in the near future, like watching a new movie or series. This helps might help:

https://imdb.com/calendar/?region=US&type=MOVIE&ref_=rlm

However, there are really bad times when i just have to sit the depressive episode out.

 

[BeanCurd]

It's not a particularly healthy coping mechanism, but I allow myself to dissociate. I tell myself 'I'm not here, this isn't happening', and find I can sometimes go through the motions of doing what I need to do, almost watching myself do it as a third person. Or losing big chunks of time but realising I did do the laundry, for example, while I was 'out'. It's hit and miss though, because sometimes I dissociate and do even less than when I was more present! And it's not a good long term solution, really.

One slightly better method I've used is to time myself doing stuff, or set a timer. It sometimes wakes something up in my lizard brain.

 

[jengablocks]

i know it is frustrating and probably even inaccessible to hear in ur situation so please take it with a grain of salt.. but what has worked for me most is approaching recovery as best i can. i dont think i will end up weathering the storm in the end, but distractions can only go so far for me before the bad things in the corner make themselves known. im finally experiencing some relief now after putting everything i can into therapy and trying medication and stuff

i hope that doesnt sound dismissive or hopeless . i sort of mean to validate how hard it is.. like i figure u can only make it less hard by either engaging with it directly or trying to distract from it, but only one has more permanent results

 

[fedup1982]

I indulge in hazelnut coffee with Irish cream, paired with a cigarette. Repeat ad infinitum

 

[yotaka]

It's not a particularly healthy coping mechanism, but I allow myself to dissociate. I tell myself 'I'm not here, this isn't happening', and find I can sometimes go through the motions of doing what I need to do, almost watching myself do it as a third person. Or losing big chunks of time but realising I did do the laundry, for example, while I was 'out'. It's hit and miss though, because sometimes I dissociate and do even less than when I was more present! And it's not a good long term solution, really.

One slightly better method I've used is to time myself doing stuff, or set a timer. It sometimes wakes something up in my lizard brain.

Nice Radiohead reference

 

[BeanCurd]

Nice Radiohead reference

Thanks The first time I heard that song back in the day, I was stunned by how close it was to my internal monologue!

See also: my custom title

 

[deny_conformity]

I do the basics by telling myself it needs to be done.

I don't like working but I complain about it to my housemate (also my work colleague) and get on with things.

I keep the house tidy because my friend took me in when I had nowhere to go and I don't want her to regret it.

I cook dinner because it needs doing and I like eating nice things (one of my few joys in life).

I get by each day by saying I can die tomorrow so might as well live today. At the moment living with my friend is a huge "protective" factor because after all she's done for me it would be very rude to leave her with my dead body.

 

['Sraom]

i try to think about the future and picture it getting better, and going to the range. thats about it

 

[Arvayn]

I exit the framework of my mind. The person that wants things, that makes up all these stories and explanations to justify how he feels? Nope, doesn't matter anymore. I think about the triviality of relative concepts at the scale of the cosmos, the idea that I am truly free to do as I wish for there won't be any bad action or ending unless I decide there is; and I am overtaken by a very deep sense of peace, a comfort from being cradled by a higher purpose or lack thereof. I'm very big on metacognitive thinking...

This helps me every time. It's so simple, but it really does get me out of anything. Of course, human-level pleasures and comforts like tender concern from a friend or a nice meal also help lots, but they're not necessary so much as they are complementary.

 

[krsm98]

Now id say i take a weirdly nihlistic and absurdist approach to just whenever i begin to spiral weirdly enough.
Generally i begin to go down a rabbit hole on how insignificant everything is and just demotivate myself more but then i begin to wonder (similar to a meme there was) "one must imagine sisyphus happy" I found it funny before and sounds kind of stupid, but in the midst of that hopelessness what if one can find like some sense of purpose by just existing as a whole, so if everything is meaningless then why not do whatever ig.
It usually helps me calm myself down somehow, but generally if it doesnt work i try to recite a poem for a while that romantizies suffering and idk it helps distract myself from the moment (even just putting music helps me just release those emotions as a whole too). And if none of those work i just escape in videogames or working on something that catches my interest.

 

[BeanCurd]

i try to think about the future and picture it getting better, and going to the range. thats about it

I now assume you mean the gun range, but at first I thought you meant The Range. Which is a budget homeware store in my country

 

[SoLowHollow48]

I told ChatGPT to be ruthlessly blunt, spiral down with it through my inner turmoils, cry, then go back to my life.

I can finally cope. Again. For another day.

I obviously can't tell people about my issues and therapy costs something so fine, AI is there.