Not existing is "pathetic"? Lol why is it "pathetic" or whatever tf that means? Why tf do I have to want to 'exist' yes or yes? Im not "depressed" nor any other """negative""" 'way'/"mental illness"/"mental health issue" or whatever that is, nothing "bad" has ever 'happened'/'happens' to 'me'/in 'my life' at all, 'my life' isnt "bad" nor "painful" at all, I dont have any "disabilities"/"illnesses" or whatever tf that means at all, Im not "suffering" at all about absolutely anything in any way, any type of "suffering"/"pain" neither "physical" nor "mental"/"emotional" nor any other type, Ive never had/don't have any other type of ""problem""/""""negative""""|""""bad"""" 'thing' in general at all and I couldn't give any damn less of a fck lol, why do i have to 'care'? im supposed to 'be' "gRaTeFuL" or whatever tf that means and I'll never understand why
I just simply dont want anything whatever/however it is ffs, I just cant understand why do i have to yes or yes just because "I" had no choice but to 'exist'/'be' 'born' lol.
I dont say i don't want to 'exist'/I want NON-EXISTENCE because ""eXisTeNcE iS "sUfFeRiNg" aNd "pAiN" and or whatever the fuck"" NOR because of absolutely ANY other single damn 'reason' at all of literally any type at all. I just simply DONT want to 'exist' nor 'experience' absolutely ANYTHING at all whatever/however tf it is and NEVER will and that's it and it's not because of any reason at all and it'll never be, whether 'people' 'believe'/'comprehend' it or not. The 'question' that I'll always 'wonder' is "why the fck there has to be a 'reason why' yes or yes? Why can't i simply just don't want absolutely anything in general at all and that's it WITHOUT it being because of any damn reason in general at all?"
I don't give a sht if not existing is ""pAtHeTiC"" or whatever the fuck that means or whatever other """"""negative"""""" 'way'/'thing' or not lol. To NOT 'exist' at all/NOT 'be' absolutely ANYTHING/ANYONE/ANYWHERE at all is what I'll always want/want to want and what I'll always 'seek'/'wish'/'desire'/'crave' no matter what and I have absolutely no """"shame"""" of that, lol why the fuck would 'i' be "ashamed" of simply just not wanting to 'exist' and that's it/of wanting non-existence? I don't care and never will if 'existence'/'life' and or whatever tf in general whatever/however it is/whatever type of thing it is etc is any/whatever """"""""""positive"""""""""" 'way'/'thing'/'place'/type of x blah blah or if it's any/whatever """""""""""""""negative"""""""""""""" 'way'/'thing'/'place'/type of x blah blah whatever tf, lol. I just simply DONT want any 'existence'/'life'/'world'/'planet'/'consciousness' etcetc of any type at all however it is whatever tf it has/there is etc nor absolutely ANYTHING else in general at all of any other type/way, whatever/however it is etc and that's it and nothing/no one will ever 'change' that no matter 'what' 'happens'/'what' 'they' 'say' etc. I dont even care if this 'message' is gonna 'receive' assumptions lmao (Anyways Im glad I 'disabled' notifications so I dont have to 'read' any because i won't no matter what it is, whatever it is it's definitely an assumption and I dont want to read that crap lol) I'm already 'used' to them, 'people' in general whether they're pro life or not/suicidal or not, makes assumptions about this and I couldnt care less lol no matter 'what' it's that people 'say' that'll never change anything, I'll always continue to SIMPLY just literally not wanting/not 'caring' about etc absolutely anything no matter 'what' neither 'how' it is etc and there's absolutely NO reason at all. Obviously to not be any 'suspicious' at all and to not be 'assumed' to be ""depressed"" nor any other 'thing'/'way' like that/in general, i have no choice but 'pretend'/'fake' and pose as I'm another one/one more of literally everyone else in general in every 'aspect', and its so fucking exhausting/frustrating but well.
So, I dont give a fck if not 'existing' is "pathetic" or if it's any other """"negative"""" 'thing' or not lmao, non-existence/eternal absolute nothingness has always been/is and will always be the ONLY thing i want/want to want. I cant even 'understand' 'how' tf is that "pathetic" in the 'first place' but well, I couldn't care any less if it is anyway