the same happened to me a year and a half ago, i was losing my mind (not might've lost it), it was the 2nd most painful experience that happened in my life and by far the longest, i couldn't do anything but think about suicide every waking second, every time a heavy-loaded truck passed in front of me i thought about throwing myself underneath it
4 months later, a tiny event magically shifted the weight off of my shoulders and i was able to breathe again
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i truly hope you get out of this one but i should remind you of two important things :
1. No one can save you unless you wanted to save yourself, that and some luck in your life circumstances can lead to recovery
2. Like any other thing in life, recovery is temporary, once you truly understand that your recovery will become much faster with each breakdown