Venting What direction to go in

[Rocinante]

What direction are you even supposed to go in life? I'm a young guy but I have literally no idea what to focus on. This issue is made worse by the fact that if you want to do anything meaningful in your life you have to do it around the 18-24 age bracket which isn't a long time. Sure you CAN move at any age, but you'll only really be able to integrate into the community if you move young. This has put me in a situation where I not only need to focus on the right thing, but I need to do so quick or else I'll miss out. What are your experiences with this? I mean you could argue health is the most important thing but I honestly don't know what to do

 

[sserafim]

Pursue your passion

 

[derpyderpins]

be sure to move forward, don't just go straight.

My experience with this is having the exact same thoughts, which made me put an expiration date on my life that I've now passed. I thought about it, thought about, and thought some more while I kept going straight in the direction I was originally headed, which never got me anywhere in terms of doing something "meaningful."

 

[Rocinante]

be sure to move forward, don't just go straight.

My experience with this is having the exact same thoughts, which made me put an expiration date on my life that I've now passed. I thought about it, thought about, and thought some more while I kept going straight in the direction I was originally headed, which never got me anywhere in terms of doing something "meaningful."

Do you think trying to meet "deadlines" puts more pressure on you? I had this discussion with someone before and he said when you're starting at the bottom there's only one direction you can move

 

[derpyderpins]

Do you think trying to meet "deadlines" puts more pressure on you? I had this discussion with someone before and he said when you're starting at the bottom there's only one direction you can move

Somewhat. Remember what I said in the thread about starting music and accomplishing something? I said just finish the song you're working on rather than jumping to the next. That way you make yourself practice the full process, see the improvement overtime, and maintain a trajectory.

So, maybe not "deadlines," because if you say "I MUST accomplish X by Y date," and you don't . . . then what? Quit? Nah. Instead of "deadlines," pick milestones and only work towards them. Don't let yourself move to other things until you get to the next milestone.

 

[Forveleth]

I really wish society would get over this "You have to do everything in your 20s" bullshit. In the 18 to 24 year old range, your brain is still not even done being fully formed. There is no way you can set yourself up for the rest of your life at that age. Most people still have no idea who they are as a person or what the fuck they're doing in life. I know social media tells us otherwise, but seriously, nobody even has a chance of figuring themselves out or getting their life started for real until at least 30. Also, there are plenty of people who have picked up their lives well after the age of even 40 and re-established themselves, started new careers, made new friends, all of that, and lived a very happy rest of their life. You don't have to put so much pressure on yourself to have everything figured out by your mid-20s because I guarantee you 99% of people don't in spite of what social media leads us to believe.

If you don't know where you're going or what to do in life, try everything. Don't turn down any opportunity. Try different jobs. Try different hobbies. Talk to different people. The best thing you can do is expose yourself to as many different situations, careers, and opinions as possible to see if you can find something you like.

Edit for stupid typing

 

[derpyderpins]

I really wish society would get over this "You have to do everything in your 20s" bullshit. In the 18 to 24 year old range, your brain is still not even done being fully formed. There is no way you can set yourself up for the rest of your life at that age.

I wish it was that way, too, but things are structured so that people in that age range who are perceptive can't help but notice how locked in they'll get.

If you're going to do something incredible artistically or be a youtuber or athlete or some other moon shot where you actually get famous like kids all dream about, it's going to happen when you're that age (most likely.) If not, most of the careers you'd consider - assuming you aren't passionate about a trade - require school, degree, certification, etc which has a high investment cost of time and money.

If I'm 20 years old and looking forward, I know there are a million paths I could take, but I know that if I choose a path where I pay that investment then have to turn around and come back to where I am, even if I pick a great path the next time, it's not optimal. I'm behind everyone who picked that path the first time and got several years head-start on me. And yes, life is a competition for the most part, at least when it comes to career.

Any chance of that picture-perfect life seemingly must happen in those early 20s, and if I'm not happy now, then holding out for that picture-perfect life is all I can cling to.

How close is that, @Rocinante ?

 

[Rocinante]

If I'm 20 years old and looking forward, I know there are a million paths I could take, but I know that if I choose a path where I pay that investment then have to turn around and come back to where I am, even if I pick a great path the next time, it's not optimal. I'm behind everyone who picked that path the first time and got several years head-start on me. And yes, life is a competition for the most part, at least when it comes to career.

Any chance of that picture-perfect life seemingly must happen in those early 20s, and if I'm not happy now, then holding out for that picture-perfect life is all I can cling to.

How close is that, @Rocinante ?

Agreed, hard not to be fixated on what career path I should take when most my age already have it worked out for them. They're right that not everyone should have everything together in their 20s when brain is still developing, but most my age are already well along in their lives and have probably progressed as far as they'll go. Home, family, career, etc.. I don't have any of that at the moment, and the clocks ticking. Each year that passes it will only get worse. I know what I want in this life but I don't have the motivation to execute it.
Sorry if I'm rambling on, I'm a bit tired .

 

[derpyderpins]

Agreed, hard not to be fixated on what career path I should take when most my age already have it worked out for them. They're right that not everyone should have everything together in their 20s when brain is still developing, but most my age are already well along in their lives and have probably progressed as far as they'll go. Home, family, career, etc.. I don't have any of that at the moment, and the clocks ticking. Each year that passes it will only get worse. I know what I want in this life but I don't have the motivation to execute it.
Sorry if I'm rambling on, I'm a bit tired .

Apologizing to me of all people for rambling is funny.

I relate a lot to how you feel.

You're wrong, though, when you say "most [your] age." Most people are a mess and idiots, no matter what they tell you. It's a false perception.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I don't really know how to help you because I was in a similar spot in my early 20s. I will say that if you don't find something soon you'll probably still be the same way in your late 20s and early 30s like me. You don't have to worry now about where other people are at this point because it'll be even worse when you're older.

 

[surroundedbydemons]

There was a great post by Linda on the thread "How do I get out of rock bottom?"

I suggest working backward from your ultimate goal. For example, if you want to become a popular music artist, identify the key milestones you need to achieve along the way. As you move closer to your current situation, get more specific about what you need to focus on.

Take care.