What debilitating health problems do you suffer from that make you want to ctb?

[Close_to_freedom]

I have ocd, ptsd, ibs, and anhedonia. All of which stem from my having been abused as a child. Well, the anhedonia stems from years of SSRIs that were meant to treat the effects of the abuse.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Throat problem being my worst physical problem which has made me exclude myself so I have no friends anymore and I can´t work because I eat so slowly e.g. it takes me 20 minutes to eat a cheeseburger from Mc Donalds.

I am also allergic to almost all foods I got tested for 30 and there were only 4 of them that I wasn´t allergic to so it makes my throat problem worse, I am also allergic to tons of other things e.g.pollen allergy being the worst and I am also allergic to dogs, cats, horses, etc.

Apathy and anhedonia that has gotten worse by each passing year since I was 20½ so I don´t feel happiness, sadness or even excitement.

I got scoliosis and a back injury in the middle of my spine that I got when I was 21 so I can never bodybuild ever again which was my big passion.

Calcium deficiency which fucks up my nails because I am allergic to milk and can´t swallow/eat calcium pills because of my throat problem

Psoriasis which also gets worse by each passing year

Generalized anxiety so I need to use benzos to keep it somewhat at bay

I got many other problems but these are the health problems that makes me wanna ctb, btw none of these problems existed in my childhood and even though it´s off topic not being a child anymore is one of the biggest reasons I wanna ctb.

 

[Close_to_freedom]

Throat problem being my worst physical problem which has made me exclude myself so I have no friends anymore and I can´t work because I eat so slowly e.g. it takes me 20 minutes to eat a cheeseburger from Mc Donalds.

I am also allergic to almost all foods I got tested for 30 and there were only 4 of them that I wasn´t allergic to so it makes my throat problem worse, I am also allergic to tons of other things e.g.pollen allergy being the worst and I am also allergic to dogs, cats, horses, etc.

Apathy and anhedonia that has gotten worse by each passing year since I was 20½ so I don´t feel happiness, sadness or even excitement.

I got scoliosis and a back injury in the middle of my spine that I got when I was 21 so I can never bodybuild ever again which was my big passion.

Calcium deficiency which fucks up my nails because I am allergic to milk and can´t swallow/eat calcium pills because of my throat problem

Psoriasis which also gets worse by each passing year

Generalized anxiety so I need to use benzos to keep it somewhat at bay

I got many other problems but these are the health problems that makes me wanna ctb, btw none of these problems existed in my childhood and even though it´s off topic not being a child anymore is one of the biggest reasons I wanna ctb.

Have you seen a gastro doctor and had an endoscopy?

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Have you seen a gastro doctor and had an endoscopy?

I have, and they found out I also have mild acid reflux but I didn´t mention that since it´s not a debilitating health problem.

 

[miseryh8scompany]

Post drug disorder - it's caused me digestive problems, loss of libido, muscle loss, muscle weakness, general anxiety, sleep problems, major depression/anhedonia, persistent music playing in my head, fatigue, bowel disease, shortness of breath.......

 

[jrums]

Permanent emotional, cognitive, sexual, and physical damage from SSRIs

 

[cosmonaut]

Abnormal ekg rhythms that doctors have different opinions on, POTS, palpitations, anxiety, severe panic, unknown allergy that caused severe reaction (they couldn't figure out what triggered it), on-and-off depressive cycles, etc.

 

[Weightoftheworld]

Epilepsy. I hate the medication I have to take for it.
Mental illnesses though are severe depression, generalized anxiety, ocd, PMDD.
I battled depression induced anorexia before I got epilepsy.

 

[Close_to_freedom]

Permanent emotional, cognitive, sexual, and physical damage from SSRIs

Those drugs are poison. Chemical lobotomies.

Epilepsy. I hate the medication I have to take for it.
Mental illnesses though are severe depression, generalized anxiety, ocd, PMDD.
I battled depression induced anorexia before I got epilepsy.

Why do you hate the medication?

 

[MephistoJustBeneath]

Autism (along with all the comorbidities associated with it) as well as gender dysphoria. I basically know for a fact that no one in earth has any genuine respect for me and I can never truly be happy, which I'd say is all the reason one needs to consider suicide.

 

[Weightoftheworld]

Why do you hate the medication?

I take Keppra twice a day, the side effects are terrible. It makes me so tired but causes kinetic muscle activity, RLS for me, that causes me to be unable to sleep.

 

[madgod]

ptsd (full blown panic attacks and public meltdowns and night terrors), psychosis (lots and lots of hallucinations), dissociative identity disorder (most of us want to be dead), borderline personality disorder (can't seem to get anyone to stay around), disordered eating and body dysmorphia (fuck food i want to be starving thin), all from years and years of abuse that only stopped a few months ago but continues every time i try to sleep. all of it is overwhelming. on top of it i'm a tranny so that's it's own internal and social hell. i'm bored of the depression and anxiety. sick of the heartache. done with being impossible to love. guilty for being such a burden on anyone who's gotten even remotely close.

 

[Close_to_freedom]

ptsd (full blown panic attacks and public meltdowns and night terrors), psychosis (lots and lots of hallucinations), dissociative identity disorder (most of us want to be dead), borderline personality disorder (can't seem to get anyone to stay around), disordered eating and body dysmorphia (fuck food i want to be starving thin), all from years and years of abuse that only stopped a few months ago but continues every time i try to sleep. all of it is overwhelming. on top of it i'm a tranny so that's it's own internal and social hell. i'm bored of the depression and anxiety. sick of the heartache. done with being impossible to love. guilty for being such a burden on anyone who's gotten even remotely close.

How would you describe your bpd?

 

[madgod]

How would you describe your bpd?

i, by diagnosis from my therapists, wasn't given the right attention or love as a child so i crave it in toxic places often turning said places toxic myself. i find myself willing to die both out of love and hate for the same person. my jealousy is so vicious i often wreck relationships by becoming clingy and obsessive. my ideal love is someone who could never want to leave. as a teen i coped with hard drugs and sex thinking those would put me in a position to find "the one" but ended up shoving me in more dangerous situations. i blow things out of proportion while managing to invalidate actual issues to the point i pretend they don't exists. in ways i get violent out of rage or fear or sadness and lash out at anyone close enough both physically and verbally (though i've never laid my hands on someone i love.) i'm impulsive to a point of being a danger to myself and often cause large messes that others are forced to clean up. my emotions yo-yo like a game. certain things will be taken so personally i assume i'm totally unlovable while at the same time sending things like nudes to strangers to get validation i think i crave. it's honestly exhausting. i'm sick of it and as many types of therapies i've gone through i can't get my head out of my ass and magically change the way my brain works.

 

[ohhgeeitsme]

Mental: Severe anxiety (true root of all my problems) and depression, body dysmorphia which has caused eating disorders in my past and excessive exercise, dissociation (both derealization and depersonalization), probably others. SSRIs also destroyed me. It killed my libido which is still non-existent seven months off it. This has actually helped with the eating disorders since I don't fear a little gain weight as much as I used to. I really would get too thin at times, but I'm at a healthy weight currently. I still crave a little validation though, so also not letting myself go. Still, I prefer the libido which was insanely high before and made me feel good. They also caused anhedonia as well, which is miserable. But the worst thing it's done to me is akathisia, which I've continued to experience for seven months now and it's one of the biggest reasons I want to die. Truly indescribable torture. I take kratom for it. It helps, but still not 100%, and it'll cause withdrawals down the line which will also worsen the akathisia.

Neurological: Once again, aka-freaking-thisia, chronic nauseating migraines, partial seizures, tinnitus, etc.

Physical: Rheumatoid arthritis, and endometriosis that has progressed and now have to deal with everyday, and not just around the time of my period. The RA prevents me from being able to exercise like I used to, which although was excessive, it has caused my mental health to deteriorate even further because it was the one thing that helped my depression the most.

Basically, I'm always in pain or profoundly uncomfortable, both mentally and physically. I feel generally ill at least once a day. But you wouldn't know it by looking at me, unless I'm limping from the RA, which doesn't happen 24/7 and most people don't see.

 

[madgod]

Autism (along with all the comorbidities associated with it) as well as gender dysphoria. I basically know for a fact that no one in earth has any genuine respect for me and I can never truly be happy, which I'd say is all the reason one needs to consider suicide.

another dysphoric person on the spectrum here, i just want to reach out and say i have a respect for you and your struggles and wish you well...

 

[mathieu]

Schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type, BPD, ADD, anxiety

 

[kokporn]

diabetes,social phobia,autism

 

[ceelo]

I have, and they found out I also have mild acid reflux but I didn´t mention that since it´s not a debilitating health problem.

silent reflux can cause peristalsis problems.... bet they missed out that. Do you have motility disorder? i do to ever since i developed hiatal hernia also severe high anxiety will also stop the throat working properly.

 

[SHThrowAway213]

I have PTSD, BPD and alcoholism.
I have chronic gastritis and neuropathy too, but that's my own fault as alcohol caused it.
It's the PTSD and BPD which cause the most problems for me.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

silent reflux can cause peristalsis problems.... bet they missed out that. Do you have motility disorder? i do to ever since i developed hiatal hernia also severe high anxiety will also stop the throat working properly.

No I don´t have that, I may have had in the past since I got my throat dialated two times but I´m not sure if that was do to the acid reflux and even after the operations it didn´t help my eating problem.

So the doctors think it is caused by anxiety mainly attributed to my aspergers since aspies tend to hyper focus on things, usually it´s weird hobbies which I also have but they think I am hyper focused on my throat which I am but I don´t think they can ever cure me from it.

 

[Blue Portal]

I have ocd, ptsd, ibs, and anhedonia. All of which stem from my having been abused as a child. Well, the anhedonia stems from years of SSRIs that were meant to treat the effects of the abuse.

Tinnitus hasn't made me suicidal, but it does make me comtemplate it half heartedly.

 

[ceelo]

No I don´t have that, I may have had in the past since I got my throat dialated two times but I´m not sure if that was do to the acid reflux and even after the operations it didn´t help my eating problem.

So the doctors think it is caused by anxiety mainly attributed to my aspergers since aspies tend to hyper focus on things, usually it´s weird hobbies which I also have but they think I am hyper focused on my throat which I am but I don´t think they can ever cure me from it.

so what is your problem? globus hystericus?

 

[TheGoodGuy]

so what is your problem? globus hystericus?

Nobody knows I have been through every test there is so my last chance is the asperger/anxiety theory.

 

[ceelo]

Nobody knows I have been through every test there is so my last chance is the asperger/anxiety theory.

well yeah no test will reveal globus, i assume you had manometry... inability to swallow, probs with motility etc is a common high anxiety symptom called globus, retard modern doctors....

 

[TheGoodGuy]

well yeah no test will reveal globus, i assume you had manometry... inability to swallow, probs with motility etc is a common high anxiety symptom called globus, retard modern doctors....

I hate doctors they are extremely incompetent and never fixed any of my problems.

 

[ceelo]

I hate doctors they are extremely incompetent and never fixed any of my problems.

Same i have a similar horror story, good news is it's a high anxiety condition and actually nothing stops working and with time it can be reversed, if you can't swallow ie globus this is caused by stress hormone causing tension in the gullet, the best method around this is to just chew every bite along as poss and you'll find sooner or later you naturally just swallow as the mechanisms open up. Pay this condition no mind its a very well documented a known issue that goes when you practice no longer paying attention to it and interfering mentally with the process. It's worth noting my gastroenterologist who's meant to be one of the best in country also had no idea about this (RETARD thought i was transitioning into achalasia), the absolute state of the medical field today, he also wouldnt listen to me about my hernia causing me mega issues which have made me very ill then a year later decided i might be right.... now i have to wait til corona fins to get anything done.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Same i have a similar horror story, good news is it's a high anxiety condition and actually nothing stops working and with time it can be reversed, if you can't swallow ie globus this is caused by stress hormone causing tension in the gullet, the best method around this is to just chew every bite along as poss and you'll find sooner or later you naturally just swallow as the mechanisms open up. Pay this condition no mind its a very well documented a known issue that goes when you practice no longer paying attention to it and interfering mentally with the process.

You really know nothing it´s not the 'globus' condition I have no condition and I first got anxiety in my early twenties and I have struggled with this since I was born I was always the last one to finish a meal, but as a child I didn´t notice it as much because for one I didn´t need that many calories because of my small child size and secondly life was amazing so there were so many distractions and I just thought I ate slowly.

 

[ceelo]

You really know nothing it´s not the 'globus' condition I have no condition and I first got anxiety in my early twenties and I have struggled with this since I was born I was always the last one to finish a meal, but as a child I didn´t notice it as much because for one I didn´t need that many calories because of my small child size and secondly life was amazing so there were so many distractions and I just thought I ate slowly.

I actually know a great deal, so why don't you try explaining what EXACTLY is your issue? you don't get procedures for just being a slow eater? whats going on? problem swallowing? problem moving food down? what EXACTLY is the medical issue? if you just eat slow then who gives a fuck? so do buddhist monks? whats your issue?

 

[Walilamdzi]

Unipolar depression combined with a couple of cannabis induced psychotic episodes misdiagnosed as bipolar. So they medicated to stop 'mania' when I'm actually extremely clinically depressed.