Discussion what are your top ctb reasons?

[_Minsk]

health (the existence of disease, struggling with mental and physical issues)
state of humanity (people don't care about the harm they inflict onto others, people being criminalized for hilarious reasons, the list goes on..)

 

[Anonymoussn]

I can't breathe. Not in an emblematic George Floyd kind of way or anything, I just literally can't breathe.

 

[W3akCr3atur3]

Lost interest in life. No hopes or any plans except ctb for future. Just bound in self-hatred and bad memories. Can't get over it myself and don't even want to be happy again.

 

[Thinking]

Self hatred, guilt, state of humanity (same as @_Minsk ). All I see ahead are 70 or so more years waiting to die and watching the world and humanity fall apart. No thanks, I'd rather avoid all that.

 

[serah]

Life is just so meaningless to me, I don't see the point in living a life I never wanted to live nor will I ever want to live.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

The person whom I considered my soulmate destroyed me

 

[falloutcarter13]

Lots of reason, I suppose...but what it really comes down to is I'm too soft and sensitive to survive in this hard world. It's like the world is a pencil sharpener and I'm the pencil. I'm down to all eraser, man.

 

[Green Destiny]

This life and this world is just too much for me.

 

[WillOxyWork]

Lifelong depression
Tinnitus which has ruined all of my interests and forced me to live as a recluse .
Loss of the smartest, most compassionate woman I have ever been with because I was selfish and controlling and was oblivious to how I was negatively affecting her

 

[Living_Hurts_so_Much]

So many things. I hate the life I live. Society sucks. So many wrongs I could never make right.

 

[InevitablePattern91]

Jail. I'll probably be in jail for the next 8 years.

I ruined my life. It was perfect then I ruined it.

This is the only reason I will ctb.

 

[profoundexperience]

There's simply ~nothing here I really want. (And many, MANY things I really don't want.)

Sure, life has it's pleasures... but almost all seem to be based on the reduction of a negative* (rather than a true positive) & none seem to ever satisfy.

I'd strongly prefer not to hurt others by my ctb, but can one base & maintain one's life solely upon trying to keep others happy/out of harm? No, I don't think that's a good enough reason... let alone possible.

* e.g., water tasting good due to thirst or companionship of a lover bringing bliss due to loneliness and horniness. It's the reduction in being "whipped" by negatives that "feels good"... nothing seems to be positive in-and-of itself.

 

[Squiddy]

Bipolar, BPD, PTSD, anxiety, my bad short term memory, articulation issues (not always being able to articulate myself), my processing issues (not always able to understand what people are saying to me) etc.

 

[Nymph]

Tired of life, mental health, bad future

 

[Worthless_nobody]

-Life long Trauma
-abuse (physical, mental,sexual)
-life long mental issues (depression, anxiety, PTSD, bpd, Asperger's, anhedonia list goes on)
- physical issues (chronic pain from injurys, tinnitus, severe IBS, severe insomnia)
- loss of loved ones
- not able to achieve my goals and dreams
- life is inherently pointless and meaningless for me

 

[Wayfaerer]

Unpleasant chronic health issues and even more reasons are cropping up as a result of this.

 

[rt1989526]

Borderline personality disorder
Antidepressants fucked up my body
Severe OCD
Basically never comfortable at all