Discussion What are your opinions on this site?

[ijustwishtodie]

I'm curious as to what you think about this site. Do you like it, hate it, indifferent to it etc and why?

Personally, I like that this site has access to information regarding suicide methods as I believe that people deserve this information so that they are less likely to do an attempt that's going to fail (cutting, ODing etc). I think it's awful at how other places on the internet censors these types of information as much as possible but I'm glad that this site has information about suicide here.

However, in terms of interacting with the site, I can't help but find the site more boring than I did when I first joined. For one, there aren't nearly as many posts now as there used to be in the past. I remember back then where there would be new posts on the front page every hour or two but now I see the same posts on the front page stay there for multiple hours. The posts back then seemed to be more interesting too but now I can't really relate enough to the majority of current posts. That said, I do believe that there does tend to be good posts now and then.

Also, just in case that people criticise me for giving negative opinions on the posts despite not making many threads here myself, just know that I can make an opinion without being an expert at it, we all can. And also know that this is just my opinion and you don't have to agree. Additionally, just because I'm finding this site more boring doesn't mean that I have to leave it either

Now then, that's just my opinion on this site. What are your opinions on this site?

 

[WhiteRabbit]

It's a niche topic site, so it can be pretty repetitive. Personally, I thought the site was better when I first came here in early 2019. I think it's common to feel that way. I've seen several other members claim this place was better whenever they first joined. The site was smaller back when I first got here, and it felt more like a community to me. Now it feels like a bunch of random people posting things that have been discussed a million times before. Still, I have a few people here whose comments I enjoy, and it's comforting to know other people are in the same boat as me.

Is there a reason you feel like you can't relate to the current posts?

 

[ijustwishtodie]

It's a niche topic site, so it can be pretty repetitive.

It's niche, yes, but it shouldn't be so limited to where there aren't enough topics to discuss about. Especially when this sub forum exists which is designed for us to talk about anything we want to that isn't related to suicide

Personally, I thought the site was better when I first came here in early 2019. I think it's common to feel that way. I've seen several other members claim this place was better whenever they first joined. The site was smaller back when I first got here, and it felt more like a community to me.

I looked back at the site at those times and I got the same impression. Sadly this has seemed to change due to the popularity this site gained

Now it feels like a bunch of random people posting things that have been discussed a million times before. Still, I have a few people here whose comments I enjoy, and it's comforting to know other people are in the same boat as me.

Yeah, I've seen the same questions get repeated a lot such as "what are your reasons to ctb?". I think that there should be a sticky megathread for common questions such as these as I'd say that this site is unified in the sense that everybody (or almost everybody) has a reason for why they want to ctb. It should prevent repetition as well provide a single thread for people to share their struggles in

Is there a reason you feel like you can't relate to the current posts?

I'm not too sure. I think it's because my mindset changed. I used to hate myself because I thought that I deserved the blame for me being inadequate enough with life and other users seem to be like this to an extent. However, a certain user here made me stop hating myself as reading their threads made me realise that I don't deserve hate upon myself but rather that I deserve peace. They made me realise that I'm just a victim to the harsh existence that already existed for me instead of me being the reason as to why existence is hell.

However, many posts here still talk about hating themselves and I no longer relate to that. They talk about how they don't deserve to live because living is good and they don't deserve good things hence they say they deserve death. I think that I don't deserve to live but that's because I think I deserve peace (not pain) which, for me, will only happen once I'm dead

 

[FuneralCry]

It became too mainstream and pro-life in my opinion, I don't feel like this is really a supportive place or "safe space" anymore to vent about my feelings towards existence, it's sad how this happened. I'm honestly not surprised but anyway it is what it is, if people have found this website to be beneficial for method research then I'm pleased for them.

And I completely get what you mean about not relating to posts, another issue I've had with this place is when people act like wanting to die is always a mental illness when in fact to me suicide is all that feels rational/makes sense. But I don't get why people go on about this being a "safe space" when honestly it isn't, like I've said before if one hates existence sadly they'll be hated for it, humans truly are the worst species to me, it's certainly tiresome how insensitive they are and how they just create more suffering.

 

[Downdraft]

It became too mainstream and pro-life in my opinion, I don't feel like this is really a supportive place or "safe space" anymore to vent about my feelings towards existence, it's sad how this happened, I'm honestly not surprised but anyway it is what it is. Guess it's just a way to pass the time posting on here at this point, if people have found this website to be beneficial for method research then I'm pleased for them.

There is a lot of users who support you or your views. Sure, some posts got a ton of backlash and people is unsavory at times, but there still is a large group who likes your stuff. Unfortunately, anything public gets exposed to this. I also disagree with a lot of things, but I kinda like that. I don't know, it makes me think sometimes.

I personally find this site is good for discussion. My only complaint is how law restricts the site unnecessarily, but it's not mod's fault.

 

[UsagiDrop]

Indifferent. This is a unique space on the internet. When I joined, I originally had the intention of respectfully lurking. Since then, I've unexpectedly found community (I didn't want to interact with others at all beyond unlocking the search feature as it didn't feel like a safe thing to do), and I was also able to brush up on my exit strategies. I've always had plans but since going deeper into my research, I understand that there's a lot I didn't understand about the methods I wanted. Now, I have two foolproof plans in my back pocket thanks to this place.

I never came on this website for entertainment or to "relate" to people. It does not make me feel better or even good to know that people are also suffering. There isn't a bone in my body that wants to relate to anyone here; I find it unfortunate and abhorrent when I have common ground with some other users. Still, I offer advice and support when I can, silent thoughts and kind wishes when I can't, and whether the people I've encountered chose to ctb or recover, I'm always happy to know that something I said helped them in a dark or confusing moment.

In regards to it being a "safe space," I would still consider it one, since this is one of the last few places that won't censor you or try to push you into therapy/inpatient stays for expressing a gloomy or suicidal thought. I think a lot of the repetition is a result of people simply not knowing how to use the forum yet, which is a plague most other forums experience when they have a sudden uptick in activity or new memberships. I think in general a lot of people would benefit from actually utilizing their "ignore" feature, the general consensus that not seeing one person's post will ruin the integrity of the forum is just bizarre to me, and I've been on lots of forums by now.

This place is what you make it, literally, and for that reason I'm indifferent to it like I am to every other community that I'm a part of. That said, it's a positive that this place is still up and running despite the backlash, and that suicidal people have a space where they can express their feelings and explore their options. I haven't been here for even a year yet and I do tend to ignore a lot of things, so I haven't seen this place change, but I believe you guys when you say it. Perhaps I'm not slightly irked by the new and different members like other users are because I'm very pro-ignoring the things and ideologies that I don't want to see... On any forum or social media platform, my favorite feature is the ability to block/ignore, so I'm going to be at peace anywhere I go. I would honestly hate having to pay a bill for internet access just to make myself miserable while using it!

 

[ijustwishtodie]

It became too mainstream and pro-life in my opinion, I don't feel like this is really a supportive place or "safe space" anymore to vent about my feelings towards existence, it's sad how this happened. I'm honestly not surprised but anyway it is what it is, if people have found this website to be beneficial for method research then I'm pleased for them.

I understand you when you say you don't find this place to be a safe and supportive place. Many people just can't understand you and same applies to you not being able to understand others. Though none of this matters. We shouldn't even be here in the first place yet we are because we can't peacefully die.

And I completely get what you mean about not relating to posts, another issue I've had with this place is when people act like wanting to die is always a mental illness when in fact to me suicide is all that feels rational/makes sense. But I don't get why people go on about this being a "safe space" when honestly it isn't, like I've said before if one hates existence sadly they'll be hated for it, humans truly are the worst species to me, it's certainly tiresome how insensitive they are and how they just create more suffering.

Yeah, suicide feels rational to me too. The less I were to live on this planet, the more suffering I would have avoided overall. And living never gave me any happiness to begin with. I'm just so tired of being alive.

I hope that you find peace as quickly as possible FC. This world is cruel so take care please, you deserve eternal rest

 

[Ambivalent1]

A suicide site is keeping me alive lol

 

[doormat25]

This site has been very enlightening. It reinforces my reasons to CTB. it's my personal cheering section for end of life.

 

[rozeske]

I have loved it since I joined and been using it as an enjoyable distraction until my date while still researching my method. Maybe it's the recent couples of days that are making you feel bored? It's been a bit quiet lately with the connection problem.

That said am noticing there are a few that are disabling their account, maybe they are not finding it helpful or making them feel worse for some reason. I guess it's not for everyone.

 

[-Link-]

For anyone who feels this is no longer a safe space to vent their suicidality, can you elaborate on why that is? Any examples?

 

[Myforevercharlie]

However, in terms of interacting with the site, I can't help but find the site more boring than I did when I first joined. For one, there aren't nearly as many posts now as there used to be in the past. I remember back then where there would be new posts on the front page every hour or two but now I see the same posts on the front page stay there for multiple hours.

You're only a member since 4 months. People come and go. Topics have been repeating themselves as long as I've been here. Sometimes it's full of people here, but we do know quieter times. I would think that's a good thing.

 

[aGoodDayToDie]

I think it's irresponsible that there's a taboo here helping people to see reasons for living; that there's hope. Some people haven't even tried recovery and usually they're under 21. It seriously irks me.

 

[Ambivalent1]

For anyone who feels this is no longer a safe space to vent their suicidality, can you elaborate on why that is? Any examples?

I think because people watch us. Unfriendly eyes

 

[Slow_Farewell]

It's a site that very interesting, for sure.
Love the resources, and some of the discussions centered around the methods themselves.
It's also an interesting study in terms of the posts and comments, and human interaction without the visual aspect.

 

[Aim]

Hounestsly, i think it's a bit mixed. But I believe my expectations to this site was mainly discussing methods and give solace to each other. However, after some time, i learned fast that this site also contains a huge part of black n white thinking. Were negativity and blaming towards both humanity and the society as a whole. Is a thing.

Maybe it's just me , but this is something i would never be able to understand, nor fiend any solace in. And therefore can never fully support.

 

[kawaiiphantom]

Thanks for making this thread, it's really interesting to see everyone's opinions ^^ honestly, I go back and forth between loving and hating this forum. Theres so many good things but so many bad things. Although Tantacrul definitely spinned it to be something way worse than it actually is. I had a different account last year and was a guest lurker for quite a while before that

I think one of the best things about it is it actually gives a voice to suicidal/mentally ill people, without being judged. It's the only space I feel safe in with these thoughts, the outside world pretty much doesn't have much tolerance for talking about suicide. You can't usually answer completely honestly irl/other places on the internet when someone asks how you are, theres always an expectation to be positive and just say "I'm doing good" people aren't allowed to express negative emotions very much and it sucks ass. This is also a great place to find ctb methods that work well for you and avoid methods that are likely to just permanently damage you instead of killing you. I also never would have found the PPH which is very helpful

I also love feeling the sense of community here and have grown fond of some members, which is a blessing and a potentially huge curse. I noticed a lot of members here have similar interests as me and I get super excited when I see a pfp of something I love. Another big thing is having the autonomy to choose when to leave this site, express critique and disagreement with it, choosing on ur own terms if you want to ctb or not. It's not like a cult at all unlike tantacrul says

Cons: Unfortunately there's also the fact of feeding into the negativity of others too much, especially if you come on here often. If you're feeling suicidal and/or severely depressed the constant talking about death and suicide I imagine can just push you further away from recovery. At least for me, this forum is both destroying me and helping me. You can hide the suicide discussion of course but mentions of ctb/similar things mentioned in the suicide discussion tend to leak to recovery quite a bit I've noticed. I've even accidentally done this myself because I see a question in "recent posts" don't realize it's from the recovery section and reply with something that would not be beneficial for recovery :< Also I noticed the Recovery chat room tends to have a lot of negativity sometimes, despite it saying "no negativity here" before entering. It's also incredibly hard not to go back onto the suicide discussion part if you're having a rlly hard time. Of course I'm not blaming the Mods or the forum it's self, just something that I've noticed.

also I think even though I strongly agree this forum is pro-choice, there are obviously many things that would enable someone to take their own life, when they otherwise might not have. Anyway that's just my opinion ;^^ doubt anyones gonna read that. This is my only home and safe space so idk aughhhhhhhhhh why is this forum so auuauauhghgugugughh this forum is disgusting, horrible, amazing and beautiful just like life is

 

[Katdogg]

I think it's irresponsible that there's a taboo here helping people to see reasons for living; that there's hope. Some people haven't even tried recovery and usually they're under 21. It seriously irks me.

I feel you on that too. As a human being it feels natural to want to reach out to someone who has decided to end it (that just might be what society programmed into me).
Respecting the "Safe Space" of this site ... means letting people be ... unless they ask for help.

 

[rozeske]

I think it's irresponsible that there's a taboo here helping people to see reasons for living; that there's hope. Some people haven't even tried recovery and usually they're under 21. It seriously irks me.

I haven't been here long but I have yet to see someone being shamed for or discouraged for showing interest in wanting recovery.

 

[SexyIncél]

I think it's irresponsible that there's a taboo here helping people to see reasons for living; that there's hope. Some people haven't even tried recovery and usually they're under 21. It seriously irks me.

Hmm, I don't see the taboo. People are here to help OPs reduce suffering. The problem is the usual toxic positivity, which typically harms more than it helps