Discussion What are passive ways you show suicidality?

[Idontrecognizemyself]

NOT a methods thread. Just thinking about how it pops up on even my best days. Here are some of mine off the top of my head:
-never looking before crossing the street
-carefully calculating how much I can drink habitually without my doctors wanting to get involved
-taking blood thinners even though I'm at a high risk for cerebral hemmorage and stroke
-going out late in dangerous areas
-skipping meals constantly

 

[OrcWitch]

Riding my bike at night I guess.

 

[Toonloon]

Escorting
Doin hardcore S/M with strangers
Going out late in bad areas on foot
Walking around dangerous freeways

 

[Meretlein]

There is nothing passive I do to show suicidality. If I am doing something risky it is for the thrill and not out of a desire to self harm.

I will either talk frankly about suicide or play the role of a normal person, which is actually a role that I love to play.

 

[way too aware]

Sleeping all day and never eating

 

[Silenos]

I don't really do that anymore except for the occasional speeding when I drive.

However, years ago when I still worked full-time, I would walk across the container terminal with my eyes closed. I was extremely exhausted, and mostly had to walk in a straight line to get where I needed to go anyway. On a terminal like this you've got a ton of trucks and big container handlers driving around, and I was secretly hoping to get hit by one.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Doing nothing to "iMpRoVE" "my" "life".

 

[rationaltake]

Not going for health checks
Compulsive eating

 

[FuneralCry]

Spending my days barely doing anything. Hardly ever leaving the house. I have no interest in living. In my case nobody knows I am suicidal and they never will. Thoughts of suicide are very comforting to me as it is the one way to end all suffering and be at peace. It is the only thing that feels right for me.

 

[WrongPlaceWrongTime]

I tend to skip meals and eat random snacks in their place. I have plenty to eat, I'm just not motivated to actually eat properly.

 

[Panna]

going out only at night with dark pants and a coat, and always walking up the nearby hill on the side traffic comes from, even if its snowing or rainy. The thought process being if I get hit I get hit, but at least I can enjoy seeing the stars and the moon in all their glory.

 

[theloserestloser]

I used to walk downtown (in a sketchy city) at like 2am all the time. Nothing ever happened and now I'm too lazy to do that.

 

[Brianiskillingme]

Driving fast and reckless. Take risks like walking up to a bear to take photos. Ignoring chest pain and palpitations.

 

[Seeking_Peace]

The driving one for sure. Also, not letting things slide. Like when this buff dude was counting money walking in the center of the sidewalk at Walgreens expecting me to move aside. I stayed in the direct path and we hit shoulders(he dropped a few bills). I didn't care if he was twice my size. I secretly hoped he would be in the parking lot waiting to fight me. You just don't give a shit anymore about your safety.

 

[Ashu]

Profound lack of interest in my life, lack of plans for the future.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Lack of plans, lack of interest, not giving a shit about my hobbies, not caring about money, not caring about my weight, not getting the COVID vaccine, etc.

 

[Sleepdrifter]

Reckless drinking

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Smoking, eating like shit, not exercising, being depressed and solemn irl, not wanting to better myself or do anything outside of the bare minimum required to survive.

 

[Bombastus]

self isolation - I have tried for so long to find someone, I am far too old to be considered an option for anyone. I just don't try anymore. I am lucky at my job I don't really have to communicate with co-workers all that much, I often hear them in deep conversations with each other but It can go weeks without anyone engaging with me. I have found a bit of peace in the fact that I seldom feel the pressure or anxiety of social interactions while I'm working

 

[ornitier199]

Burning, wearing long sleeves and pants all the times of the year.
don't to talk to anyone irl other than the dev team when absolutely necessary (text only), my voice is quiet as a mouse.
VSED and losing a ton of weight.
Doubt anyone would notice given how vague I make it, which is exactly the goal.

 

[ConstantPain]

Smoking, eating like shit, not exercising, being depressed and solemn irl, not wanting to better myself or do anything outside of the bare minimum required to survive.

Me too!

 

[markimobzzdeasui]

Self harming with bad habits to the point that body seriously start decaying and shaking yet don't giving a fuck about it
Getting the feeling of calmness when seeing the news of somebody dying of suicide and even being envious of them sometimes
Don't study,work,do any social activity or read about anything positive simply because it won't matter at all
Feeling a warped sense of ambition or purpose when reading about suicide,death,nihilism and suicide methods as if this is some higher goal or something