ohsosleepy
Member
- Feb 9, 2026
- 15
excuse me for potentially being incoherent. the phone keyboard does not lend itself to my intelligibility </3
ordered sn from dsl on the 1st. i was so sure i was going to ctb as soon as i got it. i still am. alas, it's still not here. ive been anxiously checking the shipping status almost every day, but that package is not getting out of customs any time soon. i ordered meto online too with a suspiciously fake name and it took forever for them to ship but it got here today! to my disbelief. getting prescription drugs without a prescription is easier than getting a little bit of salt for curing. maybe if i find somewhere to order benzos ill get that before my sn too :(
but im on a bit of a time limit here. what if it doesn't get here in time? my plans are going to be seriously ruined. if i go home, dying anywhere else becomes a lot harder. all because i don't have any semblance of self control or discipline. my last stupid idiot fail episode i missed my first exams of the semester. from then on i said "fuck it, its over, im never recovering from this" and decided i would just bomb every class pathetically. after all, im going to die soon, right? <- do NOT do what she did she is stupid
soon isn't soon enough, it seems. another month and the semester is over and then i have to deal with ☆ Academic Probation ☆
do i deserve to die for not being a contributing member of society and being a leech upon my family, or am i supposed to just get over it because everyone suffers? life isn't without hardship and my pain isn't even real. all of my problems are caused by me. maybe if i would just get up off my ass to fix them i would be able to live like a normal person. but im stupid and lazy and i feel like a fraud. i felt the same thing the first and last time i got put in a mental hospital. everyone else is suffering more than me, so why am i here? why am i so incapable of just growing the fuck up?
i just wish my sn would get out of customs. i cant stand another day of having to live in this body.
ordered sn from dsl on the 1st. i was so sure i was going to ctb as soon as i got it. i still am. alas, it's still not here. ive been anxiously checking the shipping status almost every day, but that package is not getting out of customs any time soon. i ordered meto online too with a suspiciously fake name and it took forever for them to ship but it got here today! to my disbelief. getting prescription drugs without a prescription is easier than getting a little bit of salt for curing. maybe if i find somewhere to order benzos ill get that before my sn too :(
but im on a bit of a time limit here. what if it doesn't get here in time? my plans are going to be seriously ruined. if i go home, dying anywhere else becomes a lot harder. all because i don't have any semblance of self control or discipline. my last stupid idiot fail episode i missed my first exams of the semester. from then on i said "fuck it, its over, im never recovering from this" and decided i would just bomb every class pathetically. after all, im going to die soon, right? <- do NOT do what she did she is stupid
soon isn't soon enough, it seems. another month and the semester is over and then i have to deal with ☆ Academic Probation ☆
do i deserve to die for not being a contributing member of society and being a leech upon my family, or am i supposed to just get over it because everyone suffers? life isn't without hardship and my pain isn't even real. all of my problems are caused by me. maybe if i would just get up off my ass to fix them i would be able to live like a normal person. but im stupid and lazy and i feel like a fraud. i felt the same thing the first and last time i got put in a mental hospital. everyone else is suffering more than me, so why am i here? why am i so incapable of just growing the fuck up?
i just wish my sn would get out of customs. i cant stand another day of having to live in this body.
