Discussion Were you ever happy for a prolonged period of time? Poll

[Forever Sleep]

Just curious really... The percentage of people who have pretty much always felt how they do now, with maybe only a few moments of joy and how many would consider they went from fairly contended lives to this.

It's hard to judge what's worse really. If you have next to no happy memories, I suppose at least there's less to miss and pine for. I wonder if there's less chance of recovery though, with less of an idea on what to aim for. It's got to also feel awful though to remember a better time you feel unable to return to. I expect both suck in their own way.

As for me, I have a few happy memories here and there but, nothing consistent. At most points in life, something horrible or problematic has been going on that took up the majority of my attention.

 

[Darkover]

i was happy for the most part up until 18 after that everything went down hill now 38 the last 8 years have been the worse ever since getting a brain injury,

 

[awaitinglove]

yes! i have bpd so personally i felt ok for about a year when i stopped seeking romantic relationships but it always comes back. i'm a person who loves to love but also feels too much when i love so i feel triggered all the time. i tried to seek romantic relationships recently and it was so bad for me. this made me realize that i will never be ready for a relationship and just need to ctb because i hate feeling so many fucking intense emotions.

 

[Ol Messier 87]

Very happy until the age of 10 or 11, after that I think I quickly became very shady (don't know if it's the appropriate word).

 

[rozeske]

Just a few temporary happy memories here and there. Sometimes I question myself if my memory is tricking me and making me only remember the sad memories, if I had always been unhappy or if it's just my depression making me see the past through a gloomy lense. I recently saw old home videos taken about a couple of decades ago when I was in my early teens, these things rarely come by considering smart phones were none-existent ....it broke my heart seeing just how miserable, sad and angry I looked.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I was happy for the most parts of my life. Sure, there were ups and downs but the downs never made me depressed/suicidal. All in all, my life was good for the most of it.

Only the last couple of years broke me.

 

[Eternal Eyes]

My childhood was pretty much a right off, but I was probably happy from around 5-9. However, from 2020 to 2023, despite the pandemic (I did SH a lot in lockdown), life wasn't too bad for me, I was really enjoying my hobbies even if I was lonely a lot of the time. Those three years flew by, heck, even my cat was killed by a negligent vet in 2022 and that still didn't effect me too hard. Late 2022/early 2023 was when my life fell apart, and I'm still stuck in that slump today

 

[ijustwishtodie]

No. My entire life has been awful from the start to right now. Happiness isn't something that I can get

 

[todiefor]

To be honest no not really, but I was also never suicidal and felt fine, until 1.5 years ago bc of the divorce when everything fell apart. I don't think I ever really thought about the concept of happiness all that much, I had purpose in what I did and it was enough for me. When I was young I didn't really allow myself to be happy or sad, literally I don't even think I allowed myself to have friends. Later in life I learnt to allow myself more emotions, friends, partners when I realised it wasn't quite normal and I certainly had some really amazing moments but when they happened I usually feel very cautious as if they would be taken away from me if I ever believed I am happy, and they were eventually, repeatedly taken away from me. I'm not sure I ever believed in happiness, but I did feel safe for many years, I thought I had ppl I could trust around me. Now I doubt I will ever feel safe again, what is the point of a life like that

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I was never happy . i just engaged as a brainwashed ape in meaningless addictions . i've been programmed to engage in meaningless addictions like watching youtube videos that keep me here and from working on my only rational goal getting my suicide ready to go and commiting suicide.

 

[Holu]

Maybe I'm blinded by my current mood but I wouldn't say I've ever had a full year or even month period of my life where I felt consistent contment as well as hope for the future. Most of my conscious life I've accepted that I'm dying early by my own hand to stop the continuous misery that is sentience. That said, like all emotions, I experience happiness, even contment, but as with all emotions it fades. Rregardless of joy felt my status quo mood state is the more empty and depressed, so any joy I feel is much more temporary compared to the sadness. Even still, looking back I can obviously recall periods of my time where I was at least happier than I am now. I think regardless of situation, it's harder to appreciate any happiness felt in the moment, and so when you look back, be it from nostalgia or not, it just seems like you were happier then. As for whether I truly was happier I can't honestly answer, but personally I feel like life progressively gets worse as opposed to better. Still I will probably feel some happiness, excitement, thrill, or high tomorrow, even if it's short lived. It's just the nature of being human.

 

[mythofsisyphus]

In retrospect, I was so happy. I had so many things that I took for granted, so much hope and an exciting future. Despite the ups and downs everyone faces, I loved life. Having that all taken away has made me realise how lucky and happy I was. In part, this is what makes my current situation so desperately unbearable - knowing I've lost it all.

 

[NoPoint2Life]

I wouldn't say I was actually happy, but a lot of years where I was not suicidal and pretty much ok. I fear getting older very much so I feel like the idea has been in the back of my mind for much of my life.

 

[FlufflesAway]

If you have next to no happy memories, I suppose at least there's less to miss and pine for.

That's not really true. You're surrounded by media that glorifies it. Films, TV shows, books, music, even people you see on the street. They smile. They laugh. They seem to have positive emotions. The media goes on and on about them. I can't tell if life's just miserable and I can't even act enough to pretend it's ok, or if there's actually something wrong with me. I've been miserable from the day dot. I don't get it. I don't understand. I always hoped something would click. It never did, and I'm pretty sure it never will. Some people are just built different.

For everyone that had a more happy time in life I hope you can get back there. You've been there before, so I think it's possible to visit again.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

I used to be normal like the others my age in the past. Used to. Now I am something I hardly recognise myself. A monster devoured by pain, severe intrusive thoughts and many, many failures and problems stacking onto each other. Now I don't feel happiness, I feel "temporary satisfaction" when doing the only things that allow me to cope. I have changed growing up, everyone changes. Except I'm one of those that changed for the worst, and getting back my innocent self is something that likely won't happen.

 

[-Link-]

At most points in life, something horrible or problematic has been going on that took up the majority of my attention.

I can relate to this, although a lot of the "horrible or problematic" in my case would be related to my own internal issues and how I just couldn't cope with a lot of things through life that most neurotypicals probably take for granted.

Very happy until the age of 10 or 11, after that I think I quickly became very shady (don't know if it's the appropriate word).

10 or 11 is about where things took a bad turn for me too. I've had some up's since then, but they were mostly fleeting and based on false hopes.

I am fortunate to have a very supportive family that's able to lift me up "in the moment" even if that comes at the expense of their own energy. But those are glimmers of light that come from other people. I've never figured out how to shine my own light, so this deep, dark depression has been mostly all I've known.

Sustained happiness has eluded me. Even as a young child I was so ridden with anxiety -- not depressed, but the anxiety was always there. Maybe I had a year or two in there that were OK, but it's always been a struggle.

 

[coolgal82]

I was fine until like 15-16 when i just suddenly wasnt? like gender dysphoria randomly kicked in and that opened the floodgates to a bunch of other stuff.

 

[11April]

It depends on what period is considered long. There was a period in my life when I was incredibly happy. It lasted 9 months.

 

[Valhala]

Maybe only a few times in the course of your entire life, and that for two or three months at the most.

 

[Manfrotto99]

Not exactly happy, but I have periods in life when my circumstances where different and I had no desire to ctb. I think if I knew how bad my life is now compared to back then, I would of been dancing on tables rejoicing.

 

[willitpass]

I think it depends on the definition of "prolonged". I've never had a point after the age of 8 where I was truly well and amazing and happy, but I had a roughly 6-9 month stint at 15 where things were going pretty well. That's the only time I can recall that I was doing well for that long. Even then I was aware things likely wouldn't stay that way and I still knew I would kill myself one day. And any other period of not being actively depressed and suicidal was less than 6 months and usually a period of mild contentment with undertones of knowing it won't last.

 

[justkatie]

I have fleeting moments of happiness over the cause of my life. A day or two here, maybe a week there.

I think the longest I was consistently on the happier was about three weeks.

I've spent many years on the very low side and the vast majority on the low side of neutral.

 

[outrider567]

I was happy virtually my entire life until my girlfriend died, been miserable ever since, just slogging thru life, everything so pointless now