I don't know how to survive.
I don't want to die, not like this - homeless and starving. I may qualify to some social help, but on a good day it'll cover the apartment. There are also pills, there is also surgery.
They upped my dose, and so I haven't had any seizure for a month and a half, but the implications are terrifying.
You see, "growing" a seizure is like blowing a balloon. It will eventually explode. It's not a question of "if", it's a question of when. The more you blow, the harder it blows up. Four days seizure free is what I call XXL seizure - an absolute motherfucker to deal with (in terms of complex partial seizures) that... let's call it "hurts", even though it's not pain, four days and on hurts very, VERY bad.
Now I've been close to this before only once - 22 days without seizures. When they came, it was unstoppable. XXL seizures one after the other with maybe five minutes of rest.
Today is the 45th day seizure free. When the balloon finally blows, it better kill me, because otherwise I die homeless and starving.
An old friend is trying to help, but the government is a cunt, naturally. Being epileptic and able to walk on my own will grant me 6% of disability. I'm not sure if it qualifies for the disabled people chair on the bus.
After being in rehab like I have been for the past 45 days, and counting, comes another thing to count: three months during which I can't work. Not that anybody would want me, considering I have a hole in my head. The only thing that would maybe help is if I get fired, not "retire" from my job. It'll get me some being fired money to survive on while I'm looking for a new job, but that won't be happening for three months.
I see one insane solution that is very much against the rules here.
Two, if you consider crypto.
Gofundme doesn't operate in Israel.
So, in conclusion, I'm fucked. "Fucked" doesn't even begin to cover it, but we'll go with "fucked" because I don't know a better word.
If you live in Israel and happen to know how to put myself on my feet after this, do share some information.
I don't want to die, not like this - homeless and starving. I may qualify to some social help, but on a good day it'll cover the apartment. There are also pills, there is also surgery.
They upped my dose, and so I haven't had any seizure for a month and a half, but the implications are terrifying.
You see, "growing" a seizure is like blowing a balloon. It will eventually explode. It's not a question of "if", it's a question of when. The more you blow, the harder it blows up. Four days seizure free is what I call XXL seizure - an absolute motherfucker to deal with (in terms of complex partial seizures) that... let's call it "hurts", even though it's not pain, four days and on hurts very, VERY bad.
Now I've been close to this before only once - 22 days without seizures. When they came, it was unstoppable. XXL seizures one after the other with maybe five minutes of rest.
Today is the 45th day seizure free. When the balloon finally blows, it better kill me, because otherwise I die homeless and starving.
An old friend is trying to help, but the government is a cunt, naturally. Being epileptic and able to walk on my own will grant me 6% of disability. I'm not sure if it qualifies for the disabled people chair on the bus.
After being in rehab like I have been for the past 45 days, and counting, comes another thing to count: three months during which I can't work. Not that anybody would want me, considering I have a hole in my head. The only thing that would maybe help is if I get fired, not "retire" from my job. It'll get me some being fired money to survive on while I'm looking for a new job, but that won't be happening for three months.
I see one insane solution that is very much against the rules here.
Two, if you consider crypto.
Gofundme doesn't operate in Israel.
So, in conclusion, I'm fucked. "Fucked" doesn't even begin to cover it, but we'll go with "fucked" because I don't know a better word.
If you live in Israel and happen to know how to put myself on my feet after this, do share some information.
