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DiscussionWelp, how are you guys doing?
Thread starterzekeyaeger
Start date
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I keep oscillating between being in horrific pain and just flooding my senses with media to distract myself. Dead inside for years, just waiting to die now, hoping that fate takes it out of my hands because my SI just fucks me up.
Sup with you?
Reactions:
Joarga, Forever Sleep, foggyskies_ and 6 others
I feel trapped and doomed cus mental health help is utter poop but I am forced to keep living cus my parents entrap me here. I went to have a mental health assessment today and the doctors are just lying, lazy and useless and don't understand anything. I just want my pain and emptiness to stop. I just want to see my friend but I can't cus my parents trap me in the house and he is too scared to go against his mum to see me.
Reactions:
Electra, zekeyaeger, deletednumber and 1 other person
Feeling trapped. My only method has like no success rate. Don't know what else I can do. Hate that I'm still alive and can't do anything about it. Why is it so hard to CTB? I hate this.
Reactions:
zekeyaeger, deletednumber, myusername890 and 2 others
Full of anxiety and stuck with the need to mask all of my emotions due to being home for the holidays. I feel trapped in my new environment, in a place where I don't belong.
Reactions:
Electra, Anonymousa, zekeyaeger and 2 others
I've been so up and down. But "up" isn't that up, just not terrible with a little bit of hope. "Down" is just awful where I am overwhelmed with anxiety and feel like everything is closing in and something terrible is going to happen. I really wish I would get sick and die. I haven't been taking care of myself, hoping that some illness will take me over. I wish just wishing to die would be enough to make me sick and die, like in the movies.
Reactions:
Joarga, Electra, Anonymousa and 2 others
I don't sleep well. I keep waking up in the middle of the night for no reason at all. That's been going on for quite some time. My anxiety levels are oscillating between panic attacks and mild anxiety like I'm on a damn roller coaster.
Personally I'll always find it so dreadful to suffer in this terrible, torturous existence no matter what and as long as I exist I'll only hope for the peace that only permanently ceasing to exist can bring me, I'd never wish to be conscious in this existence and I suffer simply from existing. It's suffering that only permanent non-existence can take away for me, I'd always prefer to painlessly cease existing than suffer in this existence I always saw as the most terrible, tragic mistake but really I wish I never suffered at all more than anything.
I wish I was never forced into this existence and I suffer so much from how I cannot just have the option to peacefully die and never exist again, I'm always so tired of suffering, I'm always so tired of being burdened with this existence, I just find it so painful to be enslaved in this existence capable of suffering to unlimited amounts destined for nothing but to be tortured by old age and die anyway, to me existence truly is an abomination and it's one that's only ever caused me to suffer, existing is always so deeply undesirable to me, nothing would make me wish to suffer in this existence.
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