Mort
No use to know one
- Feb 15, 2019
- 622
Well folks found out i have lost my left kidney not working any more . My rite one is only half good all my liver is only part working. Thing is the doctors what to operate on me to remove the dead kidney BBBBUUUUUUTTTTTTT they a problem with that . A few years back my lungs got mess up i got poisoned from cutting up wood at the place i was working at the time . The poisoning was not they fault it was the suppliers at fault they had imported from Russia. And they had sum sort of insecticide that banned here but not they . Any way my lungs all most stop working left me bedridden for weeks dam nere kill me but it did not was i piss of :( . Had nice way out but nnnnoooo had to keep going. Any way as a result of that if i have to have an operation were they nock me out completely they a good chance that i could die on the operating table . So they cant take out the kidney or put any new ones in YAY so looks like i am going to get my ending. Take that step and fall into the deep dark abyss mind you just be my luck the doctors will find a way round it :( . Have to be careful if i refuse the op they more likely lock me up in a nut house and make have the op . I think they work out how i mess my self by miss using my pain meds they cant prove it medically but just have to look how long i bin on them . They did try to wean me of them but bin on them so long now my body has become dependent on them so cant come of them not ever . Or that could kill me but doing that ways is very very painful and my heart rate goes through the roof . When they try it my hart rate went out of control one minute it dropped down to like 40 to 60 BPM then shot up to 150 to 180 BPM . Kept doing that came close to an heart attack but just my luck they stopped it :( . so back on the painkillers that piss them of as they knew it was messing every thing else up . That was 18 months back and looks like i made it to the end just in time to . As i be soon in the next couple of years I be turning 50 :( all those years wasted years to on me any way did bugger all waste my life away. Did sod all just thrown them down the toilet i just a sad pathetic piece of shit. Should have died a long time ago well now it looks like I got my wish. Well going to make the worms happy all this blubber will keep them going into the middle of next year LOL . At least i be good for one thing keep a few thousand worms happy. But i just got this feeling that the doctors are going to pull sum thing out of their hat and say we can fix you . So i can live for another 40 plus shitty years :( . I just know the doctors like to be heroes and save the day and go round say5 look at me anti i the best doctor. Sod what the patient whats lets save they life if they want to or not. Just my luck they going to save me mite have to do a runner and hide away from them i know of a few good hiding palaces . But at the end of the day i should not have to do that should be up to me whether i want to live of die it my life should be able to do what the hell i like with it. Not sum doctor who knows nothing about you and thinks he doing you favour by keeping you alive. Any way sorry for the long rant it was going to be a short one as soon i got going could not stop LOL any night night folks hope you get your happy endings.
