U

Unsure and alone

It's a slow fade
Dec 10, 2023
155
The one day in this literal week
That I don't so far at least almost make a suicide attempt.

I'm around through this hell week because I reached out and was talked through it.

And the others fill me in on the numbers

Always knew it was going to be bad .
We had a hard finical hit .

Well right now it's looking like 18 months of even harder .

Isn't life just great ? (Sarcasm )

Also saw something Today.
Too bad I can't drive because that event would be a good reason to hang around for the coming month or try to anyway.
But I can't so I'm not sure if that's a reason for something or just life being cruel by taunting it as doable if only I could drive and had a car .

I'm so tired and yet it seems I'm kinda forced to stay.

I want to go back to the better days
When yeah I wanted to die but not as intense .
Not quite this damn non - functional.

I did a bit better Today but I also set the bar for Today very low.

Because my ability to function beyond absolute survival and protection
Just completely quit for a few days .
I still made it just barely through appointments.

So yeah I tried to set the bar for Today pretty low so I could meet and exceed it .

So I guess I'm left venting and waiting for more bad news ...
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Linda and deleted442

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