Discussion Welcome to the final bar before your exit.

[Elias]

The year is 2077, governments of the international community have agreed to legislate together for better end-of-life laws, as the planet becomes more and more populated. We are outside a bar-restaurant, a "Sanctioned Suicide" banner flashes in neon under the rain (#cliches). You decide to enter and sit at the counter.

"Hello sir/ma'am, what would you like today?"



Well, what do you think would be on the menu?

I personally imagine some cocktails, like the "golden gate triple saumersault" or "Mystery drink, N or SN?"
EDIT: Shit, I wanted to post that in offtopic. How can I change this?

 

[Rachel74]

N on the rocks for me please Sir

 

[woxihuanni]

It doesn't have a neon sign! Blasphemy!

It's probably only selling N, with a couple of exotic bottles gathering dust on the shelves.

 

[Elias]

N served in glasses like this



For that particular drink, the "Final exit", the price includes the services of the cleanup crew. You're taken to a backroom and they sit with you as you give your last breath. Then your body is transported elsewhere by government workers. The bar receives a grant, and business continues.

 

[woxihuanni]

I want my body to be thrown in the gutter like in good old Ankh Morpork.

 

[gingerplum]

I love this place. Can I get a double N with a shot of benzos, please?

 

[Suicidal4Ever]

I can see this happening with the population rapidly growing and resources running out.

 

[woxihuanni]

I think we severely lack a cheers emoji in these parts.

 

[gingerplum]

I can see this happening with the population rapidly growing and resources running out.

Suicide booths would be convenient.

 

[Stan]

There has to be a joke in there somewhere with "A priest, Rabbi and Imam walk into a pro-choice bar.........."

However, If I have to order a drink I will have a shot of tequila, suck on a lemon then lick 20gm of SN off my hand

 

[Wayfaerer]

I'd like a tall glass of milkstout and a .45 aspirin.

 

[RedAlert]

me: Walks over to jukebox, inserts international community credit card into Jukebox
Jukebox: Citizen identification required.
me: Just to play music? Dang these Liberal governments have a strangle hold on everything. Citizen 445487-228, Penal Colony Omega sector 339, biochemical and mark 4 cybernetic enhancements present.
Jukebox: Thank you for your cooperation citizen. Please insert credits now.
me: Inserts international community credit card into Jukebox
Jukebox: Reading card...
me: Hurry up!
Jukebox: Unable to comply, reading in progress...
me: Takes out card.
Jukebox: Insufficient funds.
me: What? i just got paid today! Wow even in the future nothing works! Inserts card again.
Jukebox: Reading card...
me: Kicks Jukebox.
Jukebox: Remittance accepted. Please select a song.
me: Finally...OMG they have my favourite! selects song.

 

[Stan]

Rick -rolling. I did laugh :-)

 

[ddim]

N, shaken and not stirred.

 

[Hennessy]

me: Walks over to jukebox, inserts international community credit card into Jukebox
Jukebox: Citizen identification required.
me: Just to play music? Dang these Liberal governments have a strangle hold on everything. Citizen 445487-228, Penal Colony Omega sector 339, biochemical and mark 4 cybernetic enhancements present.
Jukebox: Thank you for your cooperation citizen. Please insert credits now.
me: Inserts international community credit card into Jukebox
Jukebox: Reading card...
me: Hurry up!
Jukebox: Unable to comply, reading in progress...
me: Takes out card.
Jukebox: Insufficient funds.
me: What? i just got paid today! Wow even in the future nothing works! Inserts card again.
Jukebox: Reading card...
me: Kicks Jukebox.
Jukebox: Remittance accepted. Please select a song.
me: Finally...OMG they have my favourite! selects song.

Hahahhahahahahhah!



P.S.: I would order The Pan Galctic Gargle Blaster (with lots of fent).

 

[gingerplum]

Hahahhahahahahhah!



P.S.: I would order The Pan Galctic Gargle Blaster (with lots of fent).

The Final Bar is at the end of the universe??

 

[Hennessy]

The Final Bar is at the end of the universe??

Yep:-)

"The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is an alcoholic beverage invented by ex-President of the Galaxy Zaphod Beeblebrox, considered by the Guide to be the "Best Drink in Existence."[1] Its effects are similar to "having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick."
Beeblebrox advised that you should "never drink more than two Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters unless you are a thirty ton mega elephant with bronchial pneumonia."[1] However, Ford Prefect ignored this advice and consumed three Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters while at Milliways.[2]"

Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is an alcoholic beverage invented by ex-President of the Galaxy Zaphod Beeblebrox, considered by the Guide to be the "Best Drink in Existence."[1] Its effects are similar to "having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick."...

hitchhikers.fandom.com

Milliways

Milliways, better known as the Restaurant at the End of the Universe, is a five star restaurant situated at the end of time and matter. Its main attraction is allowing diners to view a Gnab Gib, before desserts are served. It appeared in the original radio series, second book, and in the...

hitchhikers.fandom.com

 

[gingerplum]

Yep:-)

"The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is an alcoholic beverage invented by ex-President of the Galaxy Zaphod Beeblebrox, considered by the Guide to be the "Best Drink in Existence."[1] Its effects are similar to "having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick."
Beeblebrox advised that you should "never drink more than two Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters unless you are a thirty ton mega elephant with bronchial pneumonia."[1] However, Ford Prefect ignored this advice and consumed three Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters while at Milliways.[2]"

Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is an alcoholic beverage invented by ex-President of the Galaxy Zaphod Beeblebrox, considered by the Guide to be the "Best Drink in Existence."[1] Its effects are similar to "having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick."...

hitchhikers.fandom.com

Well then, next round of Gargle Blasters is on me!

 

[Hennessy]

Well then, next round of Gargle Blasters is on me!

Bottoms up

 

[Stan]

Bottoms up! Well i will have a Helium Exit Bag enema special then. My farts will sound like Mickey Mouse having an orgasm for weeks........

 

[Elias]

My farts will sound like Mickey Mouse having an orgasm for weeks........

Well, that sure is a brand new sentence in my life.

 

[Hennessy]

Bottoms up! Well i will have a Helium Exit Bag enema special then. My farts will sound like Mickey Mouse having an orgasm for weeks........

Hahah! This thread is only getting better and better

 

[Stan]

Well, that sure is a brand new sentence in my life.

One thing that people can't accuse me of is plagiarising

 

[Morphosis]

Bottoms up! Well i will have a Helium Exit Bag enema special then. My farts will sound like Mickey Mouse having an orgasm for weeks........

Stan you actually make me laugh out loud. Hilarious

 

[Hennessy]

Bottoms up! Well i will have a Helium Exit Bag enema special then. My farts will sound like Mickey Mouse having an orgasm for weeks........

Imagine going to your local bar and saying this…. Hahahah! The poor bartender....

 

[Morphosis]

Yep:-)

"The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is an alcoholic beverage invented by ex-President of the Galaxy Zaphod Beeblebrox, considered by the Guide to be the "Best Drink in Existence."[1] Its effects are similar to "having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick."
Beeblebrox advised that you should "never drink more than two Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters unless you are a thirty ton mega elephant with bronchial pneumonia."[1] However, Ford Prefect ignored this advice and consumed three Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters while at Milliways.[2]"

Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is an alcoholic beverage invented by ex-President of the Galaxy Zaphod Beeblebrox, considered by the Guide to be the "Best Drink in Existence."[1] Its effects are similar to "having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick."...

hitchhikers.fandom.com

Milliways

Milliways, better known as the Restaurant at the End of the Universe, is a five star restaurant situated at the end of time and matter. Its main attraction is allowing diners to view a Gnab Gib, before desserts are served. It appeared in the original radio series, second book, and in the...

hitchhikers.fandom.com

A thirty ton mega elephant with bronchial pneumonia.... priceless

 

[Stan]

magine going to your local bar and saying this…. Hahahah! The poor bartender....

Imagine when you 'adopt the position' and they realise you are not joking

 

[Hennessy]

Imagine when you 'adopt the position' and they realise you are not joking

Hahahaah!

 

[Deleted member 1465]

At college we christened our cafe Milliways. It was the after all the Restaurant at the End of the University.

 

[Eurus]

I'll have a noose special please