Weird situation

[Gordy99]

I apologize if this is long winded. I have been suicidal since I was 13 and the thoughts come and go over the years. I unfortunately have gotten myself into a weird situation and can't make sense of it. I'm not looking for sympathy but rather answers. I just want to know the truth.

About 3 years ago I discovered there were naked pictures of me being sent around to people. I look young for my age and always noticed people laughing at me a certain way for a very long time. It's a certain type of laughter and smiling that is hard to explain. I used to think this was occurring because I looked young for my age and a little goofy. I discovered the naked pictures existed because I overheard people at work talking about it. I noticed people laughing hysterically while driving by me and one woman mouthed a certain set of words that would indicate there is a naked video of me. I let it go on for a few months and then confronted a few people at work and they denied knowing anything about the pictures or video. I went to Human Resources and they opened an investigation. I named one person that I believed to be responsible based on stuff that I overheard at work. The investigation ended and I was told there was no evidence of any pictures or videos and to move on.

The circulating of the pictures and videos intensified as time went on. I couldn't go to the police because I had no evidence the pictures and videos existed despite the fact that everyone at work was secretly talking about it. I have yet to see a single one of these pictures or videos to this day. In case you are wondering these pictures and videos were taken through webcams and hidden cameras. There was and is spyware on all of my computers and phones. I did some weird stuff in my teens and 20's and its all on display for millions of people to view. I can't find a single trace of any of it on the internet. For a while people at work couldn't even look at me. I went to therapy and the therapist helped me for over a year and then it ended because the therapist quit. At this point I can't go to therapy because I just get told to move on or that the pictures and videos don't exist.

I can remember hundreds of interactions with women and random people over the years and they always acted a certain way that is so hard to describe. I was never able to make sense of it until I realized there were pictures and videos of me being sent around. The primary method these people are using are untraceable text messages to family, friends, coworkers, and random people. I can remember sitting in a McDonalds and a group of guys were sitting at a nearby table laughing hysterically. One of them got up and walked by me and said there is something wrong with him. The technology behind this campaign is intense because the pictures and videos mysteriously landed in the hands of random people sitting next to me in a McDonalds. To further explain...the pictures and videos are somehow following me everywhere I go on a daily basis. Anyone I interact with gets the text messages with the pictures and videos and then starts laughing.

Someone or a group of people are bent on humiliating me for whatever reason. To the best of my knowledge, this has been happening for 17 years. I have reason to believe that the people behind this are sending the pictures and videos to my cell phone but the messages are being intercepted by the police. The same goes for my e-mail. I have e-mail on my phone and randomly it stops working for a few hours and then starts working again and I get a bunch of normal e-mails.

Here are my questions:

1.) Why keep the naked pictures and videos a secret from me? Plenty of people have naked pictures and videos sent out or on the internet and their family, friends, or coworkers notify them. How does it help anyone by keeping it a secret from me?
2.) Why are these people doing this to me? What is the purpose? I'm not even embarrassed anymore and honestly just confused. What bothers me the most is that nobody will admit these pictures and videos exist. It's like a giant game to everyone.
3.) Is it possible there is a gag order in place by the police/courts or my employer?

If anyone here recognizes my situation or it sounds familiar then I kindly ask you to be respectful. Feel free to private message me with any information you might have or can reveal if it can't be posted for the public to see. The latest count of people that have seen this content is about 20 million but it's probably way more. 20 million is just what I overheard from people. Please understand that there is spyware on the computer I'm posting from that can't be removed. I'm giving you a fair warning so you don't get yourself in trouble. Even a post that just says gag order in place can't talk about it would be helpful.

 

[noaccount]

Hi Gordy. So I'm obviously just a stranger on the internet but here's my experience. I've known a number of people who are sex workers, and a number of people who were trafficked or exploited and had videos of them made without their consent or when they were underage. And I've known a number of people whose exes shared nudes of them as "revenge porn," which is a crime, or otherwise tried to stalk or spy on them. I'm really sorry if any version of this has happened to you.

I'm sorry people harassed you and said there was something wrong with you at a McDonalds, that's really immature and cruel. I do think there are other reasons why that could be. Our culture valorizes some really stupid awful ideals of "productive," heterosexual, working people and such - and people wind up harassing strangers for looking disabled, for looking queer, for looking poor or homeless, all kinds of awful reasons like that.

One more thing - while today's common commercial computers do often lend themselves to a lot of spying, datamining, etc - to have a physical, internet-connective camera capable of recording actual images of you is less of a ubiquitous threat, and more easily avoidable. Most computers or phones may have one of two cameras built into them, which are easily identifiable and easy to cover with tape. Cameras otherwise placed in your own home would have to be internet-connected to share recordings of you, so unless you see any strange unfamiliar wifi connections popping up in your home you can rule that out (and even if you do, it's likely to be a neighbor's wifi or someone's hotspot just passing by), and BrickHouse Security sells camera detectors if you want to further rule that out.

 

[mossyfox]

Hi Gordy. I'm going to guess that you are at least 30 years old or older because what you are describing are symptoms of schizophrenia. It's a serious disease that strikes people later in life. It sounds like the disease hit you three years ago. I'm really sorry you have to go through this pain and stress.

I'm not a doctor, so you should get it checked out to confirm. If it is schizophrenia for certain, then in-patient treatment will start right away and then transition to outpatient treatment.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Hi Gordy. I'm going to guess that you are at least 30 years old or older because what you are describing are symptoms of schizophrenia. It's a serious disease that strikes people later in life. It sounds like the disease hit you three years ago. I'm really sorry you have to go through this pain and stress.

I'm not a doctor, so you should get it checked out to confirm. If it is schizophrenia for certain, then in-patient treatment will start right away and then transition to outpatient treatment.

I also think its symptoms of schizophrenia, which is an extremely debilitating illness, I've got some experience with it in the family.

I have a family member with schizophrenia and they are intensely triggered by people laughing and joking insults between each other, and they're also triggered by things they think they can remember. It's so bad that I can't play "playground insults" on youtube between celebs without them getting triggered, which are humourous videos between celeb friends.

When they have an episode or something they look physically different, at least to me, as if they're currently on drugs, with extremely dilated pupils, an antagonized expression, a raised voice etc, which could explain some of the negative remarks in public and might explain why agoraphobia goes hand in hand sometimes.

I'm sorry you're going through this OP. Your best bet of getting to the bottom of this is to arrange an appointment and kindly asked to be diagnosed and treated for schizophrenia, and just tell or show them everything you've said here, all of it. Treatment for that is medication, and it's important to keep taking it if so, otherwise the symptoms come back.

 

[Gordy99]

Hi NoAccount,

I appreciate the response. I currently have tape covering the front and back of the cameras on my phones as well as any webcams that I use. I have been practicing this for quite a while but unfortunately the content was captured when I naively did stuff in front of the cameras when I was in my teens and 20's and didn't realize people were spying on me. Also, hidden cameras in my home sounds far fetched but it is definitely possible. You can run COAX cables to a bunch of analog cameras that connect to a DVR that is hidden somewhere as far as my neighbors ceiling (keep in mind I live in an apartment complex). The DVR has to be connected to the internet somehow and all it takes is hacking the neighbors WiFi and connecting the DVR. I'm not saying that I'm right but just pointing out that it's possible. I have bought counter surveillance equipment and could never locate the cameras or DVR. This is why I'm saying the DVR could be hidden in the neighbors ceiling that I don't have access to so therefore I wouldn't be able to detect it.

Hi Mossyfox,

I appreciate the response. I am at least 30 years old. I have been on medication for two years now with no true diagnosis from my doctor. The medication I'm on is used to treat schizophrenia but ultimately it keeps me calm. It's helped me tremendously over the last few years but I still maintain that the pictures, videos, and spyware exist. No amount of medication will change my mind. I don't hear voices or hallucinate. I do overhear real conversations though that people at work have and they definitely talk about the naked pictures/videos.

Hi Suicidebydeath,

I appreciate the response. As I said above I am on medication that is helping me. I'm not familiar with agoraphobia so perhaps you can explain.

 

[noaccount]

@mossyfox @Suicidebydeath - Please, PLEASE, do not treat "having family members who've been given this diagnosis" as making you an expert on people's experience. The experts on what people with schizophrenia diagnoses go through, are the people with the diagnosis themselves. (Nothing about us without us.) It's also important that we DO NOT assert that "inpatient treatment" would be best for anyone who doesn't want it - it is a euphemism for caging people, and it's been documented in study after study that people's suicide risk goes UP after inpatient lockup whether or not they were suicidal when they went in. Even proponents of involuntary inpatient, say it's only appropriate "when someone is acutely endangering themself or others," not "whenever they're diagnosed schizophrenic," so @mossyfox please don't advise this.

Gordy - I FULLY BELIEVE that you have been through a lot of real harassment, abuse, and discrimination.
And other people in this community here should ALSO believe and respect that, and BE AWARE that psych diagnoses are often ways that doctors and society DISMISSES AND IGNORES people's other very, very real problems. They say, that kid's parents aren't abusing her she's just bipolar. They say, school system isn't really ableist, that kid deserve to be treated that way because he's autistic. They say, we don't think your ex is really stalking you you're just schizophrenic.
But domestic abuse, online harassment, and sexual exploitation are very real problems in our society. And PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES OR PSYCH DIAGNOSES have high rates of being victimized!

Also @Gordy99 it is FULLY YOUR OWN CHOICE whether you take drugs or not. Your freedom and autonomy are precious.
If you need more support from people who won't push medication or a diagnosis one way or the other, the Hearing Voices network is actually quite broad and open not just to voice-hearers but to anyone with experiences that our culture hasn't always believed them or listened to them about, and has many support and discussion groups.
It is okay not to look at your experience as a disease. There is a great interview about this kind of thing with Dr. Lucy Johnstone here:

The Creation of an Alternative to the DSM: An Interview with Dr. Lucy Johnstone

Lucy Johnstone on the reaction to the Power Threat Meaning Framework, her life influences, and her hopes for the future.

www.madintheuk.com

( "Dis-ease" in terms of psychology is just a metaphor for "distress," but psychs use it to gaslight people, giving patients inaccurate information about "chemical imbalances" they don't actually have, and telling them they "lack insight" if they disagree with the psych. Also, how dismissive - to say someone is diseased/distressed and then IGNORE them about what they're TELLING YOU is causing this distress. Someone could be distressed because their wife just died, and if you say, "Actually, your distress is the problem and you just have Grieving Disorder" - what a godawful way to ignore the events that caused their grief!)

 

[Gordy99]

Hi Noaccount,

I appreciate that you believe my situation. It's obviously your choice to believe me. As screwed up as it sounds...I wish my situation was fake and that I was just schizophrenic. It would be much easier to deal with.

I choose to take the medication and could stop if I wanted to. It helps me stay calm because the situation I'm in is uncomfortable. The harassment is real and I'm unfortunately an easy target. I was very naïve and curious in my teens and 20's. I'm a very solitary person and there is way more to this situation that hasn't been described here. I don't want to give out every last piece of information in regards to the harassment.

 

[Gordy99]

I'm just curious if anyone else has any thoughts about this. It's ok to think I am simply schizophrenic. I believe my situation is real but I definitely have mental health issues.

 

[sickofbeinghere]

Hi Gordy. A very significant indicator of schizophrenia is believing that you are being persecuted (in ways that sound far-fetched and unrealistic to others, but make perfect sense to you) with complete conviction. this is something to consider, and to come to your own conclusions with.

it sounds like you've been dealt a really rough hand, you sound like an intelligent person, and I really hope you have supportive people around you. best of luck for the future.

 

[Gordy99]

Hi Gordy. A very significant indicator of schizophrenia is believing that you are being persecuted (in ways that sound far-fetched and unrealistic to others, but make perfect sense to you) with complete conviction. this is something to consider, and to come to your own conclusions with.

it sounds like you've been dealt a really rough hand, you sound like an intelligent person, and I really hope you have supportive people around you. best of luck for the future.

Thanks. As I said earlier I definitely have mental health issues. However, I don't believe my diagnosis should be schizophrenia though. I am being persecuted/harassed but unfortunately it's so far fetched that most people don't believe it could be real. I have accepted this and it doesn't bother me if other people don't believe the things that are happening to me. One of my previous therapists taught me to see if there is an alternate story when things happen to me and most times there is not.

I have supportive people around me but they got tired of listening to my stories. It became a burden on them. Also, the persecution/harassment towards me doesn't make any sense to me. I have no idea what I did to deserve any of it for the last 17 years. All I can think of is its entertainment to the people doing it.

Lastly, about 1 year and 6 months ago I took the time to write down all of the things that I overheard people say about me. I wrote about 3 pages worth of stuff. It's one thing to believe crazy stuff, to hear voices in your head, to hallucinate, and it's another thing when you overhear real conversations from other people that indicate what I believe is real. These conversations don't explain why all of this is happening to me and these people talk near me like I'm deaf or something.

 

[noaccount]

Hi Gordy. A very significant indicator of schizophrenia is believing that you are being persecuted (in ways that sound far-fetched and unrealistic to others, but make perfect sense to you) with complete conviction. this is something to consider, and to come to your own conclusions with.

it sounds like you've been dealt a really rough hand, you sound like an intelligent person, and I really hope you have supportive people around you. best of luck for the future.

sickofbeinghere, I hope you also understand that in a society where "people with x diagnosis imagine they're being abused when they're not...", people who are socially seen as "x diagnosis" therefore become very common targets of real abuse, precisely because people think no one will believe the diagnosed person about being victimized.

 

[UpandDownPrincess]

I have no idea what I did to deserve any of it for the last 17 years.

You did nothing to deserve this. Whatever is happening to you, however it manifests itself, is NOT because of anything you did or didn't do.

People can share intimate moments with others over the internet. That is not a crime, not wrong, and something that happens every day all over the world. You have done nothing to deserve any persecution.

If, in fact, this is all perhaps in your head, you have done nothing to deserve that either. You have done nothing to cause your brain to convince you of these things or to cause the conversations you are hearing.

I cannot help much. But this one thing I can tell you with great certainty: nothing that is happening to you, regardless of its cause, is your fault. Nothing you did is the cause of all this. Nothing at all, in any way.

Please be gentle with yourself. The world is cruel enough.

 

[Gordy99]

sickofbeinghere, I hope you also understand that in a society where "people with x diagnosis imagine they're being abused when they're not...", people who are socially seen as "x diagnosis" therefore become very common targets of real abuse, precisely because people think no one will believe the diagnosed person about being victimized.

Exactly. The people doing this to me escalated things about 3 years ago. I would be sitting in my car in a parking lot and random cars would drive straight at me as fast as they could and then swerve at the last second. Then they would speed away. At first I was confused and then I realized they were baiting me into a confrontation. I think the hope was that I would follow them out of anger and they would call the police and pretend they were the victim. Or they were hoping I would call the police and they would play dumb and the police would just assume I was crazy. I think this campaign for the last 17 years is designed to drive me crazy and once you go on medication and see a psychiatrist each month you are tagged as mentally ill and not believable. I might be mentally ill regardless of the abuse but the abuse magnifies the mental issues I have.

Imagine living in an apartment or home and you know someone is entering when you are not there. They leave dried paint marks on your clothes and kitchen cabinets to let you know someone was there and is doing something. They want you to call the police but there won't be any useable evidence. In other words, the people doing this are wearing gloves and the police would just chalk up the situation to a weird occurrence that isn't real. The same thing applies to my car. The mounted GPS I used to have on the windshield would randomly be on the floor mat every once in a while. Call the police and they will tell you the GPS lost its suction and simply fell. My screwdriver kit goes missing from my car. Call the police and they simply tell you that you lost the screwdriver kit or misplaced it. I believe the game is to drive me crazy and to call the police and have them hate me for constantly calling about stuff they don't believe is real.

One of the persons that is behind some of this told someone else that they just really like f'ing with me. That is their reason for abusing me. Go figure.

 

[Toonloon]

Truth is stranger than fiction is all i can say. In my early teens the cops put a wire tap on my family's phone and we could hear them talk if we were quiet when getting ready to dial out. They were just mad at my parents for something they did and were harrassing us. They also stalked me and my family as we drove around town. The harrasment did not stop until my mom signed an affidavid ( legal paper) swearing she would drop charges/ a case against a cop in their department. I'm sharing this because up until the George Floyd case nobody truly understood how serious police abuse was in US.

When I tell people what we experenced they just think i'm paranoid.

 

[Gordy99]

Truth is stranger than fiction is all i can say. In my early teens the cops put a wire tap on my family's phone and we could hear them talk if we were quiet when getting ready to dial out. They were just mad at my parents for something they did and were harrassing us. They also stalked me and my family as we drove around town. The harrasment did not stop until my mom signed an affidavid ( legal paper) swearing she would drop charges/ a case against a cop in their department. I'm sharing this because up until the George Floyd case nobody truly understood how serious police abuse was in US.

When I tell people what we experenced they just think i'm paranoid.

I appreciate the information. I don't have anything against the police but I speculate if some of this harassment towards me is from the police. One of the persons behind this (the one I commented earlier about f'ing with me) is connected to the police.

My phones have been tapped since at least 2015. I have a lot of theories as to why but I can't prove any of them. I also have information about a murder that took place in 2016. The murder was quickly solved through video evidence and the murderer was caught and currently awaiting trial. The murderer is mentally ill and was a known crazy person in this local community where the murder took place. He has no motive for the 2nd degree murder of this other person. I know the motive behind the murder but refuse to tell anyone because they won't believe me. It's a bit complicated.

Truth is definitely stranger than fiction. You literally can't make up some of the stuff I have experienced. It's so easy to call someone paranoid and ignore what happened to them.

 

[lostautist]

You state that this no longer bothers you. I would just ignore it and stop letting this propagate in your thoughts. Have you considered the possibility that some people are trying to actively torment you but that your imagination is also leading you to conclusions that aren't rational? I believe had a post traumatic stress related schitzophrenic event in my life when I was young only to realize it for what it was and it incorporated many of the same beliefs you have.

You're well spoken and seem cogent but many of your assertions or beliefs have no other plausible explanation other than schizophrenia unless you're very extremely wealthy or well connected. Such a magnitude of conspiracy is not really plausible. The world runs on money and it would cost a fortune to employ dozens if not hundreds of people just to make you feel uncomfortable on occasion and people are gnerally so self absorbed that while teasing you for a minute at the office might be a thing, there's no larger connection to any of the other experiences you may be perceiving.

Next time you experience this, smile and look away and find some other subject for your mind to dwell upon and be flattered by the fact that if you are the center of some grand plan you should feel special because there are multitudes of simple and direct ways of humiliating and hurting someone that wouldn't need to be intricately planned or staged.

 

[°Celsuis_Caesar]

You could try a diagnosis at the doctors (Just in case)
If that doesn't work you could listen to Edward Snowden on Privacy in the digital age, and put tape on your electronic cameras, I'm not pushing anything but the schizophrenic diagnosis seems like a good first step.

Stay safe, @Gordy99

 

[noaccount]

@lostautist , a schizophrenia diagnosis doesn't *explain* anything, it just *describes* something. That is, it is a subjective descriptor applied to a broad cluster of experiences, regardless of cause, that happen to many different people for many different reasons.

I wish we lived in a world where going to a psychiatrist and getting a psychiatric diagnosis didn't put people at risk for lockup, forced drugging, medical discrimination, including transplant discrimination and forged dnr orders, and immigration/visa discrimination. But we don't.

 

[Gordy99]

You state that this no longer bothers you. I would just ignore it and stop letting this propagate in your thoughts. Have you considered the possibility that some people are trying to actively torment you but that your imagination is also leading you to conclusions that aren't rational? I believe had a post traumatic stress related schitzophrenic event in my life when I was young only to realize it for what it was and it incorporated many of the same beliefs you have.

You're well spoken and seem cogent but many of your assertions or beliefs have no other plausible explanation other than schizophrenia unless you're very extremely wealthy or well connected. Such a magnitude of conspiracy is not really plausible. The world runs on money and it would cost a fortune to employ dozens if not hundreds of people just to make you feel uncomfortable on occasion and people are gnerally so self absorbed that while teasing you for a minute at the office might be a thing, there's no larger connection to any of the other experiences you may be perceiving.

Next time you experience this, smile and look away and find some other subject for your mind to dwell upon and be flattered by the fact that if you are the center of some grand plan you should feel special because there are multitudes of simple and direct ways of humiliating and hurting someone that wouldn't need to be intricately planned or staged.

The harassment doesn't bother me anymore. However, the keeping the naked pictures/videos a secret from me is what bothers me. I admit that sometimes I jump to conclusions and assume the harassment is taking place when it's not. This doesn't happen very often though.

To the best of my knowledge, most people with schizophrenia hear voices and hallucinate. I don't have that. I don't believe I fit all of the criteria for schizophrenia. A large conspiracy is plausible and unfortunately happening to me. I didn't sign up for this. You should research gangstalking (they are well funded). It doesn't fit perfectly with what is happening to me but a lot of it fits. Most people deny ganstalking exists and they claim the people who believe in it are schizophrenic. This group of people targets mentally ill people because their stories aren't believable. They also target normal people and drive them to insanity.

This morning was a perfect example of this nonsense happening to me (it's obviously more than just naked pictures/videos). I'm in a hurry to go to work and I open the back passenger side door of my car (4 door sedan). There was a piece of packing type tape stuck to the side of the paint half folded over right when I opened the door. I looked at it quickly and noticed some finger prints. I threw the tape in the nearby grass and went to work. I made a post yesterday about not having useable evidence to call the police in the past. These people tried to provide fake useable evidence. I'm willing to bet money those were my fingerprints on the tape before I even touched the tape. They let themselves into my apartment whenever they want and can easily obtain my fingerprints. The hope is that I would call the police and say that someone somehow got into my locked car and left a piece of tape with fingerprints. The police would probably ask for my own fingerprints just in case and then run the prints from the tape and see that they match mine. It's an exercise to show the police that I must be crazy because I don't remember leaving tape in my car and convinced myself that someone somehow broke into my car. I don't own packing tape so it didn't come from me.

Look...I have been at this for 17 years. I didn't piece everything together until about 3 years ago. It took a long time to truly realize what was being done to me. I'm actively ignoring it and simply explaining the experiences here so people can realize that this isn't simply a case of schizophrenia.

 

[lostautist]

@Gordy99 I'm very sorry for my post on a number of levels. It is taking me an extremely long time to type.

@lostautist , a schizophrenia diagnosis doesn't *explain* anything, it just *describes* something.

In haste, I incorrectly used an outdated term that requires a complex clinical diagnosis, colloquially. You are correct. My apologies. It is not one definition and is a broad generalization of triggers or causes and symptoms, many of which are not really well defined. I'm not one to pass blame for being distracted by my personal issues, but I won't make that mistake here again. I should not have said that.

And yeah,I completely agree. Clinical Psychiatry has been pretty much worthless and most have transitioned to some form of cognitive neuroscience. I have known too many that have been failed by it in all the ways you mentioned.

The harassment doesn't bother me anymore. However, the keeping the naked pictures/videos a secret from me is what bothers me. I admit that sometimes I jump to conclusions and assume the harassment is taking place when it's not. This doesn't happen very often though.

Fair enough.

To the best of my knowledge, most people with schizophrenia hear voices and hallucinate. I don't have that. I don't believe I fit all of the criteria for schizophrenia. A large conspiracy is plausible and unfortunately happening to me. I didn't sign up for this. You should research gangstalking (they are well funded). It doesn't fit perfectly with what is happening to me but a lot of it fits. Most people deny ganstalking exists and they claim the people who believe in it are schizophrenic. This group of people targets mentally ill people because their stories aren't believable. They also target normal people and drive them to insanity.

It's not really one disorder but more of a class. Nuture vs nature as well as potential blood/brain barrier disorders, overactive audio or visual pattern recognition, pareidolia, could be factors or triggers... digressing I'm sorry for using that term.

I wont deny that it doesn't exist or cant happen. You shouldn't have to experience anything like this. It doesn't cost anyone anything to nice or to do something positive instead.

This morning was a perfect example of this nonsense happening to me (it's obviously more than just naked pictures/videos). I'm in a hurry to go to work and I open the back passenger side door of my car (4 door sedan). There was a piece of packing type tape stuck to the side of the paint half folded over right when I opened the door. I looked at it quickly and noticed some finger prints. I threw the tape in the nearby grass and went to work. I made a post yesterday about not having useable evidence to call the police in the past. These people tried to provide fake useable evidence. I'm willing to bet money those were my fingerprints on the tape before I even touched the tape. They let themselves into my apartment whenever they want and can easily obtain my fingerprints. The hope is that I would call the police and say that someone somehow got into my locked car and left a piece of tape with fingerprints. The police would probably ask for my own fingerprints just in case and then run the prints from the tape and see that they match mine. It's an exercise to show the police that I must be crazy because I don't remember leaving tape in my car and convinced myself that someone somehow broke into my car. I don't own packing tape so it didn't come from me.

And this is why I'm confused about your posting. Was anything missing or stolen? There would be no valid reason to run those prints if something wasn't stolen or damaged and it could be possible you may be overthinking what actually might just be an innocuous random piece of tape. Its not evidence if a provable crime cannot be established.

Look...I have been at this for 17 years. I didn't piece everything together until about 3 years ago. It took a long time to truly realize what was being done to me. I'm actively ignoring it and simply explaining the experiences here so people can realize that this isn't simply a case of schizophrenia.

Well I truly hope you find some peace accepting these possibilities and move forward. It sounds mentally exhausting.

 

[Gordy99]

@lostautist You make a good point about the police having no reason to run the prints. Nothing was missing or stolen but that's generally the point. These people usually don't steal stuff when they enter my apartment or car. If something was stolen or missing then that is considered real. In my opinion, the mindset behind this game of harassment is to create scenarios that are hard to prove and they want the victim to look mentally ill. At the same time they want the victim to know they are being screwed with but can't really get any help from anyone because nobody believes them. Back to the tape in my car situation...I could be jumping to conclusions about their intentions. They definitely want me to call the police and plead with them that someone somehow entered my car. If you don't believe me then why would the police believe me? As far as you are concerned it's a piece of tape that could easily have landed in my car. Again, I don't own packing tape and didn't recently load boxes with tape into my car. I park near grass and trees so it would make more sense if I found sticks, grass, pebbles, leaves, or dirt in my car.

I admit that my perceptions aren't always perfect. I tend to see the worst in most scenarios. The harassment and abuse over the last 17 years has altered my perception in some ways which is one of their goals. They sensitize the victim to certain things. The naked pictures/videos caused tons of people around me to laugh every time they received them. I perceived laughter as a threat and every time people would laugh I would cringe even if they weren't necessarily laughing at me. Again, this is part of their game.

The medication I'm on has helped me find peace. I used to have revenge fantasies all the time and I don't have that anymore. I actually feel bad for the people doing all of this. Their brains work in such a way that causes them to receive pleasure by screwing with me and other people. I find this sad. My situation has been mentally exhausting over the years but it only bothers me if I let it. I may have outlined my perceptions about the tape in my car but I was perfectly calm when I discovered the tape and threw it on the grass like it was no big deal. When these things happen (harassment or not) I have learned to just move on.

 

[ThriveOrDie]

If I was an evil person trying to f*ck with you I would bluff and say there are naked pictures and videos because it would drive you crazy when you can't find them.

The US government has done mind control experiments on its people (I'm sure other countries have done it as well). The project was called MK Ultra and MK Naomi. It has been declassified. When those programs got shut down they just renamed them and maybe redesigned the experiments. I think gang stalking of "targeted individuals" could be a government experiment.

MK-Ultra

MK-Ultra was a top-secret CIA project in which the agency conducted hundreds of clandestine experiments—sometimes on unwitting U.S. citizens—to assess the

www.history.com

 

[angiegirl30]

I'm just curious if anyone else has any thoughts about this. It's ok to think I am simply schizophrenic. I believe my situation is real but I definitely have mental health issues.

Hey there. I hope you are doing okay. While you may have experienced some issues at work, I feel there is a real possibility that you might have schizophrenia. I happen to be a nurse and from what you are describing, this could be what's happening. You don't have to experience hallucinations or hear voices to have it. It can be treated. You said that you were already on medication. I would talk to your doctor, preferably a psychiatrist. You may need to have your dosage increased or have another med added. He may even want to switch you to a different medication altogether. He may also suggest seeing a counselor for a while. Don't give up hope. I hope I didn't offend you by saying you may have this. Mental health has such a stigma on it anymore. But you should never be embarrassed by it. You are you. You are not your disease. Best wishes to you. And let us know how you are doing.

 

[MaskedMan12345]

If I was an evil person trying to f*ck with you I would bluff and say there are naked pictures and videos because it would drive you crazy when you can't find them.

The US government has done mind control experiments on its people (I'm sure other countries have done it as well). The project was called MK Ultra and MK Naomi. It has been declassified. When those programs got shut down they just renamed them and maybe redesigned the experiments. I think gang stalking of "targeted individuals" could be a government experiment.

MK-Ultra

MK-Ultra was a top-secret CIA project in which the agency conducted hundreds of clandestine experiments—sometimes on unwitting U.S. citizens—to assess the

www.history.com

Yep. The first is a review of a book on Sidney Gottlieb, called "Poisoner In Chief"; the second item is an interview with the author on NPR's Fresh Air. Also, read about COINTELPRO. Lovely stuff.

 

[ThriveOrDie]

@Gordy99 there are support groups for targeted individuals. I just found one on Facebook. I'm sure there are more.

 

[noname223]

I also had psychosis. (There is a little difference between psychosis and schizophrenia. Not everyone who had psychosis is schizophrenic.)
It really sounds like psychosis. If someone tells me that I am paranoid sometimes it hurts me and I feel misunderstood.
But I think it is better to tell the truth. It is very important you take the medication which is prescribed to you.
You could ask your doctor what a psychosis or paranoia is. I am sure he will explain this to you. For me it helped to read a lot of science on this illness that I have.

One sign of being paranoid is that you are 100% sure that it is not an illness anmd that you are extremely convinced about your delusion (the spying). It is really hard to differentiate and needs a lot of skills to realize that.
Tbh there is one problem in this forum which I think is quite bad. Many don't know anything about psychosis or schizophrenia and give wrong advices. It is important that the paranoid person is not strenghtened in the paranoid thoughts.

I have met a lot of people with psychosis/schizophrenia. iT is quite a common experience feeling spied on. It really is an awful illness which destroyed a lot in my life.
I would suggest to have an open talk with your doctor and ask whether you have or had psychosis/paranoia.

Wish you the best! Hugs!

 

[GentleJerk]

That does sound like a very weird situation indeed, I'm sorry you are going through it.

Other people here have already expressed a few different possibilities, including maybe some mental phenomena that you might be experiencing, like schizophrenia or being gaslit, or something else entirely, so there's no need to repeat those suggestions.

Worst case scenario: if it really is happening, one of the goals might be simply to affect you in this uncomfortable way that you are experiencing. If the case can't be cracked and these things can't be stopped somehow, then best option would be to find a way to rise above it and not allow it to affect you in a bad way.

Going about your life carefree without any reaction to it, as if you don't even mind... That would be the ultimate defense. All this effort going into making you feel targeted, all the setups and plans, they would become an absolute useless waste of time for all involved. Boy, that would really mess with them! Imagine if a big group of people were going through all this effort of trying to do this to someone else, and it doesn't even affect the person, they don't even care. They would feel like an bunch of impotent dummies!

I hope more than anything that this madness would just stop, you don't deserve it. But if not, you could render them powerless with this approach. Wishing you all the best of luck!

 

[Gordy99]

If I was an evil person trying to f*ck with you I would bluff and say there are naked pictures and videos because it would drive you crazy when you can't find them.

The US government has done mind control experiments on its people (I'm sure other countries have done it as well). The project was called MK Ultra and MK Naomi. It has been declassified. When those programs got shut down they just renamed them and maybe redesigned the experiments. I think gang stalking of "targeted individuals" could be a government experiment.

MK-Ultra

MK-Ultra was a top-secret CIA project in which the agency conducted hundreds of clandestine experiments—sometimes on unwitting U.S. citizens—to assess the

www.history.com

I already thought of that possibility over a year ago. Unfortunately that is not the case. I have heard too many conversations from people about private stuff that I did when I was younger. They would have no way of knowing I did those things in the privacy of my home unless they received pictures and videos of me. I will point out that some of the content being sent out is photoshopped. I only know this because of conversations that I overheard. For example, one person said that I wore something in particular in one of the pictures and I'm positive I never did.

Hey there. I hope you are doing okay. While you may have experienced some issues at work, I feel there is a real possibility that you might have schizophrenia. I happen to be a nurse and from what you are describing, this could be what's happening. You don't have to experience hallucinations or hear voices to have it. It can be treated. You said that you were already on medication. I would talk to your doctor, preferably a psychiatrist. You may need to have your dosage increased or have another med added. He may even want to switch you to a different medication altogether. He may also suggest seeing a counselor for a while. Don't give up hope. I hope I didn't offend you by saying you may have this. Mental health has such a stigma on it anymore. But you should never be embarrassed by it. You are you. You are not your disease. Best wishes to you. And let us know how you are doing.

I personally believe I am bipolar but I will entertain the idea that you are right. And I'm not offended by you suggesting that idea. Even if I did have schizophrenia it doesn't change the fact that these pictures and videos exist and that I am being harassed.

I'm taking risperdal and klonopin and both medications keep me calm. I don't really think about the pictures and videos that much. I'm just venting in this thread. I already see a psychiatrist and I don't feel that adding another medication is going to help my situation. Increasing the dose makes me too tired so that is not an option. I could ask to switch medications but honestly I like the current medication I am taking.

I have seen many therapists in my life. None of them truly believed that my situation is real with the pictures. I can't talk to them about how it impacted me because they don't feel it's real. One therapist told me to outline my values in life and live my life to the fullest according to those values. I don't plan on giving up hope right now. I'm doing ok for now and I appreciate your reply.

That does sound like a very weird situation indeed, I'm sorry you are going through it.

Other people here have already expressed a few different possibilities, including maybe some mental phenomena that you might be experiencing, like schizophrenia or being gaslit, or something else entirely, so there's no need to repeat those suggestions.

Worst case scenario: if it really is happening, one of the goals might be simply to affect you in this uncomfortable way that you are experiencing. If the case can't be cracked and these things can't be stopped somehow, then best option would be to find a way to rise above it and not allow it to affect you in a bad way.

Going about your life carefree without any reaction to it, as if you don't even mind... That would be the ultimate defense. All this effort going into making you feel targeted, all the setups and plans, they would become an absolute useless waste of time for all involved. Boy, that would really mess with them! Imagine if a big group of people were going through all this effort of trying to do this to someone else, and it doesn't even affect the person, they don't even care. They would feel like an bunch of impotent dummies!

I hope more than anything that this madness would just stop, you don't deserve it. But if not, you could render them powerless with this approach. Wishing you all the best of luck!

I thought about this approach about one year ago. I started to not care as much and would brush off the harassment on a regular basis. Aside from the pictures/videos, the harassment has slowed down. The medication helps me ignore the nonsense. I only called the police twice and that was 2 years ago. They inferred I was crazy so I stopped calling. Despite this...these people would still set up scenarios for me to call the police and claim harassment. Since I didn't call the police I think it slowed their interest in harassing me. It doesn't mean they stopped completely but at least it slowed down.

 

[Gordy99]

Hopefully the screen shot I attached is viewable. This spyware tool is probably unknown to most people. The detections in red (hidden rootkit) are not false positives. I don't visit sites that would cause this many rootkits to be installed on my computer.

 

[ThriveOrDie]

View attachment 84811

Hopefully the screen shot I attached is viewable. This spyware tool is probably unknown to most people. The detections in red (hidden rootkit) are not false positives. I don't visit sites that would cause this many rootkits to be installed on my computer.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you.