Weird question

[FaultyCepheus]

I used to not be scared of dying but as ive gotten older i am. I know deep down i want to die but i struggle to accept it. I was wondering if anyone else has a lot of thoughts and dreams of dying? They make me feel better which feels weird to say but they do? I struggle with sleep a lot and a lot of the time i cant fall asleep without thinking and imagining myself dying.

 

[J&L383]

Yeah I'm kind of the same way. I fall asleep thinking that at least there will be peacefulness while I'm asleep and maybe I won't wake up. Sometimes I dream where I'm sleeping - yes, I'm sleeping in my dream (seems redundant) - and nobody can wake me up, and I feel like I'm paralyzed. But then I just start to relax and decide to go with whatever happens. So far "whatever happens" is just that I wake up.

 

[JustHere1]

Yes I used to rely on these thoughts and dreams to get to sleep and when I was at rest. It was very comforting. I used to bury myself in snow or drown myself in an icy lake in my dreams. The snow felt comforting, soft and cold and sleepy.

I don't do this anymore because I don't like to think of anything that could make me anxious before CTB, it's not as comforting anymore these days.

 

[j.rez729]

I don't dream about it but I think about it all the time, every day. You'd think I would dream of it too but I really don't dream these days because I smoke too much weed (weed suppresses dreams for many people), but I'm taking an extended break in light of the new year so maybe that'll change. Not sure how old you are but I myself am at this awkward terrible age of 33 where I feel like I've lived an eternity but in reality, barring some miracle, I have decades of life left :(

 

[JustA_LittlePerson]

And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad, the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had...