Venting Weird Fantasies

[Okokaykay]

i find myself thinking about what it'd be like to cbt in the comfort of another person's arms. maybe its the loneliness thats making my brain turn to these things lately...
i crave comfort so much, like a child.

im used to having ideations daily, but they hardly ever used to include another person.

 

[Celerity]

Maybe not dying in someone else's arms, but yeah, my fantasies often involve seeing someone I care about one last time. Incidentally, exactly zero of the people I have ever imagined would have given two shits if I died. Funny how that works. It's as if some sick part of me would use the act of suicide to get closer to these people - as if that were possible and as if I wouldn't be, ya know, fucking dead. Utterly ridiculous.

 

[february in alaska]

I know this feeling. Realistically it would never work for a number of reasons, but I like to pretend I have someone with me helping me CTB, holding my hand and telling me it's going to be okay.

Death is the one thing we all have to do alone, a journey nobody can follow us on even if they wanted to. I find it equal parts beautiful and absolutely terrifying

 

[Okokaykay]

I know this feeling. Realistically it would never work for a number of reasons, but I like to pretend I have someone with me helping me CTB, holding my hand and telling me it's going to be okay.

Death is the one thing we all have to do alone, a journey nobody can follow us on even if they wanted to. I find it equal parts beautiful and absolutely terrifying

yeah, i know it'd never work. it's just one of those odd, comforting thoughts i find myself turning to more lately.
it's all so isolating sometimes.

 

[baabbaabbaab]

Death is the one thing we all have to do alone, a journey nobody can follow us on even if they wanted to. I find it equal parts beautiful and absolutely terrifying

This is very nicely put.

It's the opposite for me : I want to do it alone. With a stranger I wouldn't mind though.

 

[BlackMoon]

I have a kinda similar one: I know it'll sounds very stupid, but I feel the need to CtB with or in the presence of somebody being affectionate to me and saying me they love me, and that I could feel it's true for the first time. I know it'll never happen but I can't help myself.

 

[breezeboy]

I know it's a longshot to find a partner but I'd want to drink sn and lay with someone and hold each other while we pass.

It would give me the strength needed to go through with it and provide a sense of comfort that im not going alone.

 

[CTB Fella]

I fantasise about torturing a paedophile, then taking my own life.

I'd get great enjoyment out of that.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

I fantasize about a place with a huge laser pit where people that don't want to be here anymore can go and jump in and get instantly vaporized.

 

[Okokaykay]

I have a kinda similar one: I know it'll sounds very stupid, but I feel the need to CtB with or in the presence of somebody being affectionate to me and saying me they love me, and that I could feel it's true for the first time. I know it'll never happen but I can't help myself.

this is one scenario ive played out exactly! i dont think its stupid at all.

I know it's a longshot to find a partner but I'd want to drink sn and lay with someone and hold each other while we pass.

It would give me the strength needed to go through with it and provide a sense of comfort that im not going alone.

i hope you find what you're looking for- doing things alone is something i feel ive had to accept, but even so, i find comfort in the idea of having someone to hold me through it too.

 

[Ash’Girl]

I think since my fiancé died and my intrusive thoughts / ctb urges went into overdrive again, other than the fantasies about the impossible (ie, him magically not being dead), I fantasise about the concept of him being there when I die.

Like, oftimes when I'm practicing method, I have a recording of his voice playing (I have many of these), and I have in front of me a picture of him. So if I do succeed, the last things I see and hear will be him irregardless of whether there's an afterlife and reunion or just a void.

I'm still alone and not having the comfort of his physical body (he gave the best of hugs) however this… his voice and his image… it gives me some small comfort.