Help Weight loss help & insecurities

[aikou]

Ever since my depression started getting serious about two years ago, I developed severe insecurities, most notably insecurities about my weight, which increased drastically.

I planned on talking with my family doctor (not sure if that term is common outside of Portugal) about prescribing me Ozempic or some other weight loss medication so that I could have something to motivate me besides going to the gym and being on a diet. I've been going to the gym for over a year, and I've been on a diet for even longer, yet I'm still not below 100 kg.
It doesn't help that I eat very fast, and I'm an extremely picky eater.

I'm almost 100% certain my family doctor won't prescribe me shit, even if I show all of my arguments, reasonings, and even the health problems I'm starting to develop as a consequence of being severely overweight.

I have a psychologist appointment in a few days; my next psychiatrist appointment has yet to be scheduled, and my appointment with my nutritionist is only next year because she got pregnant, and I can't really change doctors because I live in a pretty isolated place where there's a lack of almost everything. I don't know what to do at this point.

My biggest fear is if I develop an eating disorder, I'm already starting to get scared just thinking about eating; I'm starting to get desperate; I don't know which measures to take.
Thanks to any help in advance, I appreciate it very much. <3

 

[Divinus]

Personally, and I am not suggesting or encouraging you to take this route.
I have a long medical history since childhood of not being able to lose weight and a low resting heart rate.

I bought Clenbuterol and HGH, taking it in hopes of improving my overall physique. I skimped out on eating a lot whilst exercising and despite this, I never lost any weight.

 

[Hvergelmir]

You do have professionals who'll help you, which tells me that you're on the right track. I think that if you can trust that, it goes a long way to counter any disorder. There's really no need to feel insecure about the situations - you have professionals on it. You are actively working on the problem in a rational and composed manner.

I've been going to the gym for over a year, and I've been on a diet for even longer, yet I'm still not below 100 kg.

100 kg is something of a magic number, but at the end of the day it's just a nice round number. There's no health metric bound to it.
If you've been to the gym and maintained you diet, even partially, you've had progress or have at the very least slowed your weight gain. The routine can probably be optimized, but you ought to trust in the fundamental idea.

There's no need for desperation or strong emotional responses. Once again, you are actively working on it in a responsible way, assisted by professionals. Keep doing just that.

On a more personal note I think food and physical activity is about finding something that frequently motivates you in the short term - something fun, interesting, or important. If there's any physical activity that inspires you, pick it up, and trust that your body will adapt. (That's my personal philosophy, tested under very different conditions, though.)