Weighing my options

[traingirl]

Not wanting to CTB yet.. but wanting to have options in case. I've never used a firearm so I was wondering what the easiest gun is to use without the risk of blowing off another part of my body and getting put in the psych ward. I want to shoot through my heart but if I get desperate enough, I will shoot near my ear. I have looked at the Mossberg Maverick 88 12 Gauge Pump Shotgun but I am unsure that I will be able to conceal it as I live with a parent and it might be awkward to aim at the heart and reach to pull the trigger. I know Mark Linkous CTB'd by shooting through his heart with a rifle. I wonder if it would be easy to shoot through the heart with a .357 magnum revolver as I saw online where someone had died by GSWTC using a .357 magnum. I have places to jump but I can't ever bring myself to do it. Saw PC SN but have seen multiple failures with it. Not a risk I'm willing to take unless it was guaranteed. Seems like all the sources for SN are gone. If only I would've found it when it was a free for all on Amazon. There is a hook on the front of my house that I could anchor a noose with but it runs the risk of someone catching me. I had thought about hydrogen sulfide as well but it's harder to source lime sulfur now because once the news spreads word of a new suicide method, it instantly gets banned. Seems like my options suck currently and run the risk of maiming me for life or putting me in the psych ward.

 

[Galahad]

I'm not a firearm expert. Shot plenty of 12 bore years ago and .22 rifles but not handguns.

I would say the biggest thing is your aim. A shotgun would give you more margin but would be very awkward to fire without Jerry rigging it somehow or sawing off the barrel.

You certainly don't need a pump action. The cheapest 12 bore you find would be just as effective - look second hand even.

I too remember when SN was freely available but worse, I also remember when N itself was widely available - how I wish I'd bought some.

My main focus these days is Nitrogen exit bag although having watched a few hanging videos last week I'm also considering full suspension - but I'd want benzos for that. Just maybe I can get some though.

 

[traingirl]

I'm not a firearm expert. Shot plenty of 12 bore years ago and .22 rifles but not handguns.

I would say the biggest thing is your aim. A shotgun would give you more margin but would be very awkward to fire without Jerry rigging it somehow or sawing off the barrel.

You certainly don't need a pump action. The cheapest 12 bore you find would be just as effective - look second hand even.

I too remember when SN was freely available but worse, I also remember when N itself was widely available - how I wish I'd bought some.

My main focus these days is Nitrogen exit bag although having watched a few hanging videos last week I'm also considering full suspension - but I'd want benzos for that. Just maybe I can get some though.

If I lived alone, I would definitely do the nitrogen exit bag. I did research it and it still seems hard to acquire, even if I lived alone. Sounds like the best way to go out of all the options though. Some days, I get frustrated and I want to act out of impulse but I remind myself that it could always get worse if I do that. My life is already hell enough without being a vegetable, burden to family, hospital bills, etc. I tried partial and realized I'd need benzos or some kind of sedative too lmao. I was just looking at local retail stores near me for the 12 bore shotguns because I'm on limited time and want to CTB within the next month and all I could find was pump action shotguns. I wake up everyday disappointed to still be here. People die every day from the silliest things. Randomly, in their sleep, car accidents, etc. Why can't it be me?