Weekly Recovery Thread

[OliverTreeLver]

Hello, People of SaSu! Again!
(will never get tired of writing that, just means another few months of me living)​

It has been a few months since I last wrote one of these, so I apologize for the quality. I want to track my recovery process somewhere, since I haven't been doing that for a while. Why not here! I don't exactly know what schedule I'll be writing in, but probably weekly. I'll try to be consistent. Can't promise. ANYWAYS enough ramble ramble, let's get to it!

with love, Oliver.

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New Life
"It's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then"
-Lewis Carroll
​

Things have changed for the better I would say. My partner and I have moved into a new apartment since the last one was only throughout the summer. This new one is pretty neat we don't have to worry about other roommates. I am a private person. I like having things that I can keep private from others. Not dealing with three other guys in one (relatively small) apartment was not as comfortable as I thought it would be. It was a bitch to earn enough money to rent the place though; we have almost missed rent payments 3 times! Learning this whole "adulting" thing is hard. Hopefully, as we keep going steady life won't crash and burn like it usually does. I enjoy my partner; they are a lot nicer than my last one. For one, they don't judge me for being me. That is pretty sweet. We both struggle a lot with identity and insecurities, so having each other nearby helps with my journey towards recovery.

I also have a full-time job, granted it is shit. I make sub sandwiches 5 times a week, 8 hours a night, cracking into the early hours of the morning (02:00:00). Thank god for my fucked sleep schedule haha. Most of the people there are alright, nobody judges me for the person I am. I think they don't care, which I am fine with. I can't say I care for them either. My boss is a bit of a freakazoid though; most fast-food bosses are though. I don't plan on staying here for long, nor am I staying in this town for long either. Thinking about the future is my favorite past-time now, about the plans I want to make. I never got the chance when I was in high school; I was too busy thinking about my mortality instead. I don't ask for too much, just a nice home and a nice spouse. Maybe a few cats to raise and care for. God, so sappy I hate it.

Final notes? Life is okay. I struggle a lot, almost daily, but things seem to work out more. I don't know what else to write about, so I'll finish with some creative writing.

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BANG! ...BANG! ...BOOM!

Awoken from his slumber, The Silent Knight arose. His armor clinked as his joints moved, making small adjustments throughout his plates. He stood at a towering seven feet, with a disgusting face hidden behind his scorched helmet. Dirt sifted off him as his legs began to move, slinking out of the divot he once laid in. Chaos raged around the small village, rugged men ran from place to place brandishing swords. The town was covered in a great smog, lights flickered from houses being burnt down to crisps. The Silent Knight waded through the war, ignoring the pleading cries from soon-to-be widows that cut the air as he passed. Stepping over the cannon fodder that lay in mess all over the ground, he continued. His sheath dragged across the limbs of the fallen, thumping as it came down against the ground. His eyes locked forward; words were amiss to him.

As the flames behind him slowly faded out of view, the knight finally stopped. He stood like stone, feet rooted into the ground. Soon, branches emerged from his metal skeleton. The sun rolled over, and time kept passing. The branches tangled and sprouted into twists and turns. Hair pushed its way through creases and cracks in the armor, slowly fading into an earthy green. Days, then weeks, he stood in silence. Seasons changed, time passed, and colorful leaves fell from the branches that bored from within. Snow fell, making a blanket that covered the rolling hills around. Heat rose, the snow melted, but there he stood. Motionless to the world around him, The Silent Knight found a new life for such a damaged soul.