Watching hospice videos has lessened my fear of death

[Kali_Yuga13]

Title...I stumbled upon content from hospice workers and it has lessened my fear of death. There are some end of life symptoms such as "visioning" and the "death reach" that may indicate something after. I saw saw someone given "compassionate end" (hospitals term for euthanasia to free up a bed and stay within legal bounds) and they did these things. I think my biggest fear in death is having never lived as I grew up in an environment of neglect and control and missed many milestones. Unfortunately adulthood did not offer the freedom I expected despite my earnest efforts at healing, rebellion to the system and conformity to the system. Nothing really stuck. The prospect of feeling like "it was all worth it in the end" is at an all time low. It's looking to become more about the destination than the journey to modify a popular saying.

I still feel like I have 1-5 years before I commit to ctb but it's taking a lot of mental effort to get my stuff in order. I am happy to be shedding the fear of death. At some level this feels like a type of spiritual progress if it isn't all blackness in the end.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Keep in mind that those people who die under Hospice care are under the influence of very powerful pain medications at the "end", if you get what I'm saying.

 

[Nikitatos]

Everybody dies eventually.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

Keep in mind that those people who die under Hospice care are under the influence of very powerful pain medications at the "end", if you get what I'm saying.

I realize that but the visioning and the death reach are uncannily common end of life phenomena. When I observed it the person was given an initial dose of Ativan to take out the breathing tube and and then given morphine. It happened at the beginning of the dosing where he got lucid before they upped the dose for 3 hours and then hit him with Versed (Midazolam) for it to be over. I've never seen someone on opiates, benzos or both do these things.

As an aside, the morphine+Midazolam cocktail seems to be the standard protocol used in the US for unofficial euthanasia.

The nurse on that channel went into why she doesn't think it's solely a drug induced experience in one of her vids. I'd have to comb through and find it to jog my memory on why though.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I realize that but the visioning and the death reach are uncannily common end of life phenomena. When I observed it the person was given an initial dose of Ativan to take out the breathing tube and and then given morphine. It happened at the beginning of the dosing where he got lucid before they upped the dose for 3 hours and then hit him with Versed (Midazolam) for it to be over. I've never seen someone on opiates, benzos or both do these things.

As an aside, the morphine+Midazolam cocktail seems to be the standard protocol used in the US for unofficial euthanasia.

The nurse on that channel went into why she doesn't think it's solely a drug induced experience in one of her vids. I'd have to comb through and find it to jog my memory on why though.

My sister was under Hospice care and all kinds of "end-of-life" drugs at the end and she never reached-out or showed any of this "visioning". Come to think of it, neither did my dad. Idk. Personally, I don't think there's anything "spiritual" about it if it happens. I think the more likely reason would be that they don't want to go and are reaching out to loved-ones to grab ahold of them to anchor them here, or maybe for one last hug. Of course, everyone has their own ideas.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

My sister was under Hospice care and all kinds of "end-of-life" drugs at the end and she never reached-out or showed any of this "visioning". Come to think of it, neither did my dad. Idk. Personally, I don't think there's anything "spiritual" about it if it happens. I think the more likely reason would be that they don't want to go and are reaching out to loved-ones to grab ahold of them to anchor them here, or maybe for one last hug. Of course, everyone has their own ideas.

I never heard of it before. I saw it happen a few years ago and only came across the hospice lady in the past year. It just seemed weird to me that it was a thing she saw regularly and had terms for it.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I never heard of it before. I saw it happen a few years ago and only came across the hospice lady in the past year. It just seemed weird to me that it was a thing she saw regularly and had terms for it.

I've heard of it, but just hearing about it means it's anecdotal. I've never seen it. Another thing I kinda know from life experience is that people like/need to see "meaning" in things, sometimes when there's really no meaning there. I can only assume it gives them reassurance, maybe some kind of calming effect. Maybe it validates their own beliefs. I guess it's like when some people see the face of Jesus within the darkened areas of a pancake. The heart sees what it wants to see. I guess I'm just a skeptic.

 

[rozeske]

Not sure about the reaching out thing as I wasn't there but when my grandma died she was in a lot of pain, at her home in a very remote area. In her last moments she couldn't really communicate but she was calling out to people that died long ago. No one there even heard of them and we only figured out who those people were asking around after she was gone. Turns out they were people somewhere high up our family tree, people forgotten whose name hasn't even been mentioned in a very long while. There certainly are unexplainable things that indicate the possibility of an after.

 

[Neon Grave]

Hi, hospice worker here!

I've been in this sector of healthcare specifically for about four years. I've witnessed hundreds of deaths and cared for well over a thousand patients in that time. Everyone's experience is vastly different and dependent on tons of factors, including but not limited to disease process, age, support systems, staff involved, comorbidities, etc. Even the "reaching out" described here could be for a multitude of reasons and wouldn't really be clear unless you were heavily involved in the process.

I'm happy to answer any questions you might have!

 

[Disappointered]

I came across this nurse's videos as well and found them soothing. Even if it involves a lot meds that still seems like relatively peaceful death. I look forward to it if i can arrange for it to be that peaceful. This nurse's videos are quite interesting even if not perfectly scientific.

 

[divinemistress36]

Hi, hospice worker here!

I've been in this sector of healthcare specifically for about four years. I've witnessed hundreds of deaths and cared for well over a thousand patients in that time. Everyone's experience is vastly different and dependent on tons of factors, including but not limited to disease process, age, support systems, staff involved, comorbidities, etc. Even the "reaching out" described here could be for a multitude of reasons and wouldn't really be clear unless you were heavily involved in the process.

I'm happy to answer any questions you might have!

Did any of the patients call out their deceased loved ones names? Like they saw them coming to get them while dying?

 

[Neon Grave]

Did any of the patients call out their deceased loved ones names? Like they saw them coming to get them while dying?

Hallucinations are common, especially in people who have dementia, but generally they're not of specific people. Usually they see random children or animals. If someone is "calling out" it typically means they're distressed or in pain while confused. I've never seen a person who was alert and oriented talk about seeing a deceased person.

I'd like to just add too, unless the death is particularly traumatic, it is generally very slow and quiet, with the person being minimally responsive for hours to days before they actually go. It's not anything like media where they just say goodbye, close their eyes and suddenly pass away. Many families think that we "drug them to death," but it's just a huge misconception and lack of education of how death actually works.

Even if it involves a lot meds that still seems like relatively peaceful death.

Genuinely, most deaths are peaceful because of the meds, not in spite of them. "Terminal restlessness" is so real.

 

[Disappointered]

these videos are some of the most reassuring videos i've come across. the nurse seems sincere even though there's self promotion going on bc she's selling her book. i really just want to be at peace with catching the bus so that i can get any mental blocks out of the way.