Discussion Watching gruesome videos online

[In2TheVoid]

I'm not sure if anyone else has experienced this, but recently I have started watching fairly gruesome videos of people dying online (through an archive of reddit's /r/watchpeopledie/). I never would have watched videos like this before my own life fell apart so catastrophically.

I think in a way I am trying to make myself believe that there is no God and no afterlife (because what type of God would allow such horror?) and to desensitize myself to death.

On the other hand I find that some of the videos make me feel better about my situation ("at least I'm not likely to get captured by ISIS").

I have N, and these videos aren't related to any one method (and I do steer clear of the most graphic ones).

Anyone else have a similar experience or habit?

 

[_battered_butterfly_]

I started watching Faces of Death and Best Gore at age 15. I am 30 now and Best Gore was taken down only recently... But I have always had a fascination with death and gore.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Not gruesome videos but when I was about 15 I'd watch videos on YouTube of a suicidal persons story. The ones where they have the big cards and remove one at a time.

 

[BottomlessPit]

I found that this type of content is a good way to induce a sense of urgency to ctb. Really brings home the fact that this world is not a good place to be in.

 

[death137]

I often watch gruesome videos. You see evil not only in the videos but also the comments. This world is very disgusting.

 

[the_final_countdown]

Yes. It's a coping mechanism. I would never watch those videos were my life not destroyed by illness.

 

[Whole-Ad]

I also started watching these types of videos. Mainly started with watching other people ctb as it helped lessen my urges somehow. Then it sort of developed into a habit. I started watching all kinds of videos, accidental deaths, executions, murders etc. Now it's at the point where I'm completely desensitised from it. None of it bothers me anymore, but when I first started watching it, I did get slightly disturbed by what I saw.

 

[stygal]

I saw some videos of ppl hanging themselves through a thread that was posted here. I actually thought it would disturb me more but it didn't - just like this picture of that little boy's body being washed ashore as he failed to immigrate somewhere - it does nothing to me.
I don't know - I kinda already expect only bad or cruel things from this life to the point I just completely given up feeling strong compassion towards strangers/most people. Maybe because nobody ever had any with me - Idk.

 

[WornOutLife]

I've a very sensitive person so, even a Disney movie can make me cry lol.

However, I used to watch videos like that too so as to feel closer to death and after doing it, I just felt...empty, I mean, it seems we're hopeless and there's no God or heaven or whatever waiting for us. We're just born on this blue rock to die and that's it! It sucks!

 

[LakatosDiogenesz]

Not gruesome videos but when I was about 15 I'd watch videos on YouTube of a suicidal persons story. The ones where they have the big cards and remove one at a time.

The Amanda Todd video? I remember it too, there was a huge outrage about cyberbullying and responsible internet use after she died.
Then everyone forgot about it a year later :(

 

[Life_and_Death]

The Amanda Todd video? I remember it too, there was a huge outrage about cyberbullying and responsible internet use after she died.
Then everyone forgot about it a year later :(

actually i think that was one i didnt watch, but i did hear about it

 

[Tree frog]

I've watched footage of people suiciding on youtube to get in the mind set of doing the same thing to myself. But I never lose site that they are real suffering people and always have empathy and love for those poor people. It's really quite horrific and leaves me feeling pretty dead inside. Haven't watched for a while. I think there's a point where those videos have done the job I wanted and watching more won't make me less scared of the act of suicide. But I must admit I think it has taken the edge off the fear and SI of doing it one day.

 

[saltshaker]

I remember way too many gore videos, it sucks. I swear sometimes my memory is too good.

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

A little bit, I have quite a morbid curiosity, some of them make me feel sick but methods that are appealing to me are interesting to watch just to see how long it takes. As for things like Mexican cartel videos no thanks I don't want torture porn.

 

[FuneralCry]

Honestly I don't see the appeal in watching gore videos or of ones of people ctb. I already feel desensitised to death enough. I have always had an fascination with death, and I like watching things on taxidermy, I find looking at pictures of open casket funerals relaxing for some strange reason, maybe it's because the person is at peace now.

 

[greyismyfavecolor]

I watch these videos too. I remember first finding this kind of content online when I was 11 and I've been mostly desensitized ever since. The only things I can't stand is torture videos, it makes me too uncomfortable.

 

[In2TheVoid]

I don't watch the torture videos either or any of the cartel stuff, it's too horrible for me... just reading the titles is bad enough and has desensitized me a lot

 

[motel rooms]

Ordinary life is gruesome enough for me, thanks