Venting Was anyone else their parents’ scapegoat?

[bambie200]

My parents really were my first bullies. When I was a kid, my parents would make fun of me for EVERYTHING (sports, my art, my clothing, my body etc.) Mock me to my face, and behind my back to family. Eventually I became so embarrassed I just stopped doing anything at all.
This especially hurt because they would praise my 5 sisters for those same things that I couldn't do.

All I can remember of my childhood is cleaning. My only "hobby" when I got home from school was clean the house to try and keep my parents in a good mood so they wouldn't blow up at me and my sisters.

I don't know. I have my own life now but I'm terrified to try anything, make friends, pick up hobbies. I have no skills or childhood to speak of.

It's really obvious how well my sisters flourished with all the encouragement they got at home. Im happy for them but here I am lol. I feel like I was set to be a failure from the start.

I genuinely can't handle feeling so worthless anymore. It's especially painful now that my sisters are getting good jobs and lives and I'm still a loser. I'm just incapable of being someone worth being proud of. Can anyone else relate?

 

[Photographer Fizzle]

My parents really were my first bullies. When I was a kid, my parents would make fun of me for EVERYTHING (sports, my art, my clothing, my body etc.) Mock me to my face, and behind my back to family. Eventually I became so embarrassed I just stopped doing anything at all.
This especially hurt because they would praise my 5 sisters for those same things that I couldn't do.

All I can remember of my childhood is cleaning. My only "hobby" when I got home from school was clean the house to try and keep my parents in a good mood so they wouldn't blow up at me and my sisters.

I don't know. I have my own life now but I'm terrified to try anything, make friends, pick up hobbies. I have no skills or childhood to speak of.

It's really obvious how well my sisters flourished with all the encouragement they got at home. Im happy for them but here I am lol. I feel like I was set to be a failure from the start.

I genuinely can't handle feeling so worthless anymore. It's especially painful now that my sisters are getting good jobs and lives and I'm still a loser. I'm just incapable of being someone worth being proud of. Can anyone else relate?

I can.
I'm sure you could use more validation than, but I'm in a bad headspace.
I'm only able to say I hear you and that i did and do feel the same.

 

[bambie200]

I can.
I'm sure you could use more validation than, but I'm in a bad headspace.
I'm only able to say I hear you and that i did and do feel the same.

I'm sorry you can relate but I'm glad I'm not the only one out there . Thank you for replying even though you're in a bad place rn

 

[whats_the_point]

My parents really were my first bullies. When I was a kid, my parents would make fun of me for EVERYTHING (sports, my art, my clothing, my body etc.) Mock me to my face, and behind my back to family. Eventually I became so embarrassed I just stopped doing anything at all.
This especially hurt because they would praise my 5 sisters for those same things that I couldn't do.

All I can remember of my childhood is cleaning. My only "hobby" when I got home from school was clean the house to try and keep my parents in a good mood so they wouldn't blow up at me and my sisters.

I don't know. I have my own life now but I'm terrified to try anything, make friends, pick up hobbies. I have no skills or childhood to speak of.

It's really obvious how well my sisters flourished with all the encouragement they got at home. Im happy for them but here I am lol. I feel like I was set to be a failure from the start.

I genuinely can't handle feeling so worthless anymore. It's especially painful now that my sisters are getting good jobs and lives and I'm still a loser. I'm just incapable of being someone worth being proud of. Can anyone else relate?

Yep, I can relate. The worst part is it took me so long to realize that what they were doing was wrong. Like you mentioned, you feel like you can't handle anything. I have the same feeling. I don't know how to be an adult. I'm too scared to do anything and I'm not even brave enough to cut off contact with my parents. I guess all of us in this thread can just hold hands and have a good cry once in a while.

 

[matt1968]

I.'m in a poor headspace too.

Yes, I go through periods where I can be self-directive but I just freeze.

Something happened to me as a kid. I was the youngest.

 

[Waldorf&Statler]

Yes. Im autistic but went undiagnosed. Mother died after a 7 year battle with cancer when I was 11. After that my father blamed me for everything and tried to offload me to other people multiple times. When people wouldnt take me he blamed me for being so horrible nobody wanted me. I became depressed and suicidal. As soon as i was 16 he kicked me out and smeared me to extended family so I could not get help. While living on the streets I was accosted by a pimp and sex trafficked. Raped several times, my sense of assessing safety in situations has been so screwed up that I can't tell who to trust. I am now in my 40s and have severe ptsd but am treated by doctors like I'm faking it. I can't get help. Family are public figures so nobody will belive me. I can't attach to people and have never had a healthy relationship. I have problems making friends and nobody to relate to my situation.