butterflyguy

butterflyguy

Member
Aug 6, 2024
43
Just a warning about something I regret. I tried CO through a car. 4 hours and it didn't work. However I ended up with brain damage. Short term memory loss. All the rest. I regret it. Choose your method wisely. Be careful. I'm a shell of my former self.
 
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Darkover

Darkover

Angelic
Jul 29, 2021
4,626
i'm already living with a brain injury i am bed bound without antipsychotic medication. i am think of getting a tent and portable stove to put in the tent and burn for 2 hours, worth a shoot

cars have catalytic converters to reduce harmful emission how did you around that
 
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watamote12

watamote12

-
Sep 26, 2024
28
for the CO method, the mixture of concentrated sulphuric acid and formic acid is I think the best option.
i'm already living with a brain injury i am bed bound without antipsychotic medication. i am think of getting a tent and portable stove to put in the tent and burn for 2 hours, worth a shoot

cars have catalytic converters to reduce harmful emission how did you around that
How did you do it?
 
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butterflyguy

butterflyguy

Member
Aug 6, 2024
43
sorry for you, is this permanent?
Yes. Not degenerative (doesn't continue to get worse) however rehab is needed to begin to pick up the pieces and see what's left.
 
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butterflyguy

butterflyguy

Member
Aug 6, 2024
43
for the CO method, the mixture of concentratesulphuric acid and formic acid is I think the best option.

How did you do it?
i'm already living with a brain injury i am bed bound without antipsychotic medication. i am think of getting a tent and portable stove to put in the tent and burn for 2 hours, worth a shoot

cars have catalytic converters to reduce harmful emission how did you around that
That'll be the problem I guess. Gas was still toxic but not lethal. Major regret but I was not thinking straight.
i'm already living with a brain injury i am bed bound without antipsychotic medication. i am think of getting a tent and portable stove to put in the tent and burn for 2 hours, worth a shoot

cars have catalytic converters to reduce harmful emission how did you around that
I implore you not to. The damage is not worth it and the risk of it going wrong as it did for me.
great courage to
It doesn't feel like it :(
 
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watamote12

watamote12

-
Sep 26, 2024
28
That'll be the problem I guess. Gas was still toxic but not lethal. Major regret but I was not thinking straight.

I implore you not to. The damage is not worth it and the risk of it going wrong as it did for me.

It doesn't feel like it :(
How serious are your memory problems?
When I was doing a placement at the hospital, I saw a guy who had thrown himself out of the window of his house, he had broken his spine, couldn't walk any more, could barely move his thumbs.
He broke his spine, couldn't walk, could barely move his thumbs. He had a thousand opportunities to regret his action
 
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butterflyguy

butterflyguy

Member
Aug 6, 2024
43
How serious are your memory problems?
When I was doing a placement at the hospital, I saw a guy who had thrown himself out of the window of his house, he had broken his spine, couldn't walk any more, could barely move his thumbs.
He broke his spine, couldn't walk, could barely move his thumbs. He had a thousand opportunities to regret his action
Was that in a suicide attempt or an accident? Awful.

Mainly one area of my brain affecting 4 functions, one being memory, according to the Neuro assessments. It's pretty bad. Could be worse I guess. I can't work etc.
 
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watamote12

watamote12

-
Sep 26, 2024
28
Was that in a suicide attempt or an accident? Awful.

Mainly one area of my brain affecting 4 functions, one being memory, according to the Neuro assessments. It's pretty bad. Could be worse I guess. I can't work etc.
From the bottom of my heart, I wish you a speedy recovery and good rehabilitation.
and for the story it was a failed suicide
 
butterflyguy

butterflyguy

Member
Aug 6, 2024
43
From the bottom of my heart, I wish you a speedy recovery and good rehabilitation.
and for the story it was a failed suicide
That's awful. Can't imagine what he's going through now.

Thank you so much. It's definitely a different life and different path for me now.
 
Darkover

Darkover

Angelic
Jul 29, 2021
4,626
That'll be the problem I guess. Gas was still toxic but not lethal. Major regret but I was not thinking straight.
Catalytic converters use a chemical chamber to 'convert' the harmful emissions in your exhaust—such as carbon monoxide and nitrogen oxide into less harmful states like carbon dioxide and water vapour.
I implore you not to. The damage is not worth it and the risk of it going wrong as it did for me.
it went wrong because you used the wrong method this isn't even co poisoning
 
butterflyguy

butterflyguy

Member
Aug 6, 2024
43
Catalytic converters use a chemical chamber to 'convert' the harmful emissions in your exhaust—such as carbon monoxide and nitrogen oxide into less harmful states like carbon dioxide and water vapour.

it went wrong because you used the wrong method this isn't even co poisoning
Correct technically but it was an attempt at CO poisoning. This was months ago, long before I joined SS. I didn't know what I was doing. This is just a warning to research properly if attempting this method. And not try and replicate what you've seen in movies in a desperate state while semi psychotic.
 
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FlufflesAway

FlufflesAway

Student
Jul 31, 2024
102
Yea, didn't know what I was doing when I tried to poison myself with CO. How did you find out if you had brain damage or not? Were the signs that obvious? I've been... different since that attempt. I don't know what to say to a Dr. though? I've been depressed and failed suicide, but now I feel depressed even more and feel like less of a human? Could I get a brainscan please? They just put me on oxygen whilst I was at the hospital.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,259
To me it's so cruel how people have to suffer like that, I find it horrific how trying to die can go wrong, it's exactly what I fear and lead to worse suffering but anyway I wish you the best, I'm sorry you suffer, I find it painful how I cannot just have the option to simply die in peace.
 
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nihilistic_dragon

nihilistic_dragon

Dead already. Just need to dispose of my body now.
Aug 6, 2024
623
To me it's so cruel how people have to suffer like that, I find it horrific how trying to die can go wrong, it's exactly what I fear and lead to worse suffering but anyway I wish you the best, I'm sorry you suffer, I find it painful how I cannot just have the option to simply die in peace.
Yes and then you're alive again against your will and people stigmatize and judge you. This seriously has to stop. I hope in a distant future things will be different, I hope the society becomes open minded enough.
 
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Intoxicated

Intoxicated

M
Nov 16, 2023
416
for the CO method, the mixture of concentrated sulphuric acid and formic acid is I think the best option.
Formic acid needs very careful handling, since it's highly corrosive and volatile. There are more safe reagents that can produce CO by reacting with concentrated sulfuric acid, f.e., sodium formate, citric acid, and potassium ferrocyanide. Since concentrated sulfuric acid may be difficult to obtain, alternative reactions are worth considering as well. F.e., CO can be made by thermal decomposition of sodium oxalate.
 
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butterflyguy

butterflyguy

Member
Aug 6, 2024
43
Yes and then you're alive again against your will and people stigmatize and judge you. This seriously has to stop. I hope in a distant future things will be different, I hope the society becomes open minded enough.
Stigmatise because you were suicidal? Or because of the brain damage?

And I agree 🖤
 
M

murun_b

Member
Aug 5, 2023
48
Formic acid needs very careful handling, since it's highly corrosive and volatile. There are more safe reagents that can produce CO by reacting with concentrated sulfuric acid, f.e., sodium formate, citric acid, and potassium ferrocyanide. Since concentrated sulfuric acid may be difficult to obtain, alternative reactions are worth considering as well. F.e., CO can be made by thermal decomposition of sodium oxalate.
I've seen you mention sodium oxalate before, but I'm not sure if or how this could work.

The Wikipedia article on sodium oxalate states that decomposition begins at 290°C, but that doesn't necessarily mean that we can produce sufficient amounts of CO at this temperature. The paper that is referenced in the Wikipedia and from which the 290° number is taken suggests that "the thermal decomposition of sodium oxalate may be incomplete at temperatures up to 740°". They achieve 100% CO recovery after a heating time of 20 minutes at 750°, but only 87,7% after a heating time of 30 minutes at 740° which seems quite drastic for a 10° difference. Most heating plates and mantles only achieve 450°, more expensive ones 650°. That's pretty far from the 750° and so I'd expect the decomposition to take much longer and remain incomplete at these temperatures.

And it's not like we can tolerate a partial decomposition that gives us, say, only 10% since the amount of CO produced is already realtivly low compared with the acid method. I tried to calculate it earlier and if I recall correctly we get about 16 liters of CO from 100g of sodium oxalate assuming a perfect reaction, whereas we get roughly 50 liters from 100g of formic acid.

Also, you seem to know some chemistry. Do you think it would be possible to use phosphorus pentoxide instead of sulfuric acid (haven't found a source for this) as a dehydrating agent for formic acid?
 
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maynoname

maynoname

Student
Aug 13, 2024
162
I'm really sorry for you. Thanks for sharing this with us.
 
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R

ruby09

Member
Jun 10, 2024
31
im so sorry that this happened :( the world is so horrible and unfair, i wish all the best for your recovery
 
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butterflyguy

butterflyguy

Member
Aug 6, 2024
43
Yea, didn't know what I was doing when I tried to poison myself with CO. How did you find out if you had brain damage or not? Were the signs that obvious? I've been... different since that attempt. I don't know what to say to a Dr. though? I've been depressed and failed suicide, but now I feel depressed even more and feel like less of a human? Could I get a brainscan please? They just put me on oxygen whilst I was at the hospital.
It was very obvious cause I went from a full mind to an empty mind then was referred to a Neuropsychologist for test and then another neuropsychologist for further tests. Suspicions confirmed.

It's so fucked.
 
Intoxicated

Intoxicated

M
Nov 16, 2023
416
And it's not like we can tolerate a partial decomposition that gives us, say, only 10% since the amount of CO produced
Why? Sodium oxalate is relatively cheap, you can easily buy 1 kg of it. If you collect the produced gas in a plastic bag, you can achieve over 100000 ppm of CO there with just 0.1 - 0.2 mol of CO which can be produced by decomposing less than 50 g of the salt (some part of CO can be wasted due to reaction 2CO = C + CO2). This should be pretty enough for CTB.
Do you think it would be possible to use phosphorus pentoxide instead of sulfuric acid (haven't found a source for this) as a dehydrating agent for formic acid?
Yes, P4O10 is stronger than H2SO4 as a dehydrating agent and can be used to decompose HCOOH too.
If strong dehydrating agents, such as sulphuric acid or phosphorus pentoxide are used, the formic acid decomposes into water and carbon monoxide.
https://scholarsmine.mst.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=7797&context=masters_theses (see page 6 -pdf / 1 -book)

Decomposition of formic acid by phosphorus pentoxide is mentioned in the German Wikipedia article about carbon monoxide too.

It's also possible to produce CO by dripping HCOOH into hot H3PO4
https://dn790008.ca.archive.org/0/i...tive_Inorganic_Chemistry_1__2_Brauer_text.pdf (see page 670 -pdf / 645 -book)
 
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M

murun_b

Member
Aug 5, 2023
48
Why? Sodium oxalate is relatively cheap, you can easily buy 1 kg of it. If you collect the produced gas in a plastic bag, you can achieve over 100000 ppm of CO there with just 0.1 - 0.2 mol of CO which can be produced by decomposing less than 50 g of the salt (some part of CO can be wasted due to reaction 2CO = C + CO2). This should be pretty enough for CTB.

Yes, P4O10 is stronger than H2SO4 as a dehydrating agent and can be used to decompose HCOOH too.

https://scholarsmine.mst.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=7797&context=masters_theses (see page 6 -pdf / 1 -book)

Decomposition of formic acid by phosphorus pentoxide is mentioned in the German Wikipedia article about carbon monoxide too.

It's also possible to produce CO by dripping HCOOH into hot H3PO4
https://dn790008.ca.archive.org/0/i...tive_Inorganic_Chemistry_1__2_Brauer_text.pdf (see page 670 -pdf / 645 -book)
Wow, that is such a detailed and informative answer. Thanks a lot!
 
Davey40210

Davey40210

Even the stars make room for new stars
Sep 3, 2024
343
Omg OP that is my worst nightmare. Life is already horrible, then trying to step out but instead making it more horrible is just terrifying.

Whatever I end up with I really hope to succeed.
 

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