Venting Wanting to recover but too tired to

[colormesuprised]

Im sorry if this is a very common thread, but I want to recover,but am too tired/ lack the support system.

I don't want to talk to my friends about it because I have before, what do I expect for them to reply back that hasn't already been said.

My friends on the other hand vent about things that actually matter like their fathers illness and what not, I feel so useless if all I say is again and again how tired I am and I want to CTB.

Both my parents take mental health very very lightly, and last time when I was put into the hospital, my mother told me that if I really wanted to die, I should do it. And that I wasn't really suicidal because I'm trying to get help.

She has her own issues to deal with, plus two kids, so I get it, really.
My dad on the other hand doesn't really know what to say, which is kind of my dilemma.
Why would I talk to people about my issues when they don't know what to say. What can they say?

I don't know.

 

[SmollMushroom]

I have a pretty messed up relation with my parents. Opening up with them did not do me any good, because they felt as I were being ungrateful, instead of understanding that I was seeking for help.
In my personal experience I learned that some things are better left untold with close relatives.
Instead, you tell them to a psychologist - psychiatrist - specialist. Just don't tell them you have a plan to ctb, besides that you can tell them anything.
But again, maybe the people close to you will be more understanding - I'm just sharing my personal experience honestly.

 

[HighFlight]

Please don't apologize for your feelings or what you ate going through. It's difficult to find a good support system in a world where the majority of people don't understand mental health issues, let alone ctb. This site is a good place to vent and talk with supportive people.

It's good that you can recognize your parents are human, and who may not respond the way you hoped. However, if you are interested in recovery, I would suggest trying to foster a better relationship with your parents. This won't be an easy task, and I wouldn't mention anything related to ctb. Even your dad... maybe just get him talking about anything.

But even without support at home, recovery is possible. And like @SmollMushroom just mentioned, finding a good psychiatrist, psychologist and/or a good therapist will be important too.

This site has a recovery forum you can post your thoughts, feelings and questions. There's a good thread in the recovery section for people to connect to vent and get support. Everyone is welcome, even if your ultimate goal is to ctb but can't do so quickly.

Ultimately, I hope you find some peace along your path.