Venting Want to hear about my miserable life ? :)

[ijustwantout]

I always thought I'd be happy. But it never happens. Sure I'm happy sometimes but it always ends. Always. It's fair that it ends but it doesn't justify how much it hurts after it just gave me a few seconds of happiness. I'm stuck on an island. I've been for the past 10 years. It's the same routine. I don't have any real friends in my life. I'm not the smart guy that brings in that good of a mark either. I try but I can't. I don't even have an insignificant talent. I don't have a good looking body even though I try. The girl that I love is far away. She was the only good thing that made me feel good in this god forsaken place and now I feel like she's maybe pushing me away due to the distance. I can't blame her either. This is a Muslim country so I can't even go for getting a drink. The island is small so I can't even go to the pharmacies to get any pills because my mom knows them. She's a nurse. I can't keep going like this. I took amitriptyline and cut my hand but I just woke up feeling dizzy. Living is hard and dying is impossible for me. Day after day I'm stuck in a glass box hoping things would be better. That's why I'm still here, that small candle light that says things might be alright but yes I'm thinking about CTB by hanging cause that seems to be the only way I can get out. I'm scared but I can't keep going for long.

 

[hannila_m]

Im so sorry life's so hard for you
" Living is hard and dying is impossible for me" -I totally get that part..
I hope everything will turn out for you the way you want it to!

 

[ijustwantout]

Im so sorry life's so hard for you
" Living is hard and dying is impossible for me" -I totally get that part..
I hope everything will turn out for you the way you want it to!

Thank you for understanding... I hope you get what you are looking for as well.

 

[uniqueusername12]

So tragic, you sound like a decent person who cares. Aren't we all!

If we didn't care, then we wouldn't feel like this. Good luck with everything.

 

[ijustwantout]

So tragic, you sound like a decent person who cares. Aren't we all!

If we didn't care, then we wouldn't feel like this. Good luck with everything.

Thank you