Discussion Want to CTB but have executive dysfunction and very low energy levels

[Eudaimonic]

I'm tired of the unending pain and misery of being alive and I want to just CTB and get it over with because I know that no matter what i do that's what fate has in store for me, but I lack the executive function and energy levels to plan and follow through with it. My circumstances further complicate this since I live with my parents and sister and don't really leave my house and I don't have my license, limiting the methods I can access and use. I'm thinking of trying to get a gun this summer, but at this rate I don't think I will be able to actually do so.

Who else here is struggling/has struggled with this? Do you have any tips for overcoming it? This is the main obstacle to CTBing for me and I need to find some way around it.

 

[Wolf Girl]

Welcome to the club...

 

[LittleJem]

I was bed bound for two or three years and living with family.

The reason for my dysfunction was/is depression. I found modafinil, tramadol, or ketamine could occasionally get me out of bed.

Am gonna write my goodbye letters on ketamine probably as it makes me more human.

I couldn't find any way of escaping bed/dysfunction but did order a pill cocktail I would not probably have been able to use as it would take 48 hours.

 

[killmesoftly]

Yup. Can't figure out where to get the supplies or how to get them with limited money and with my roommate always around. I want to do inert gas but its so effing complicated its pissing me off, why can't it be more simple, why can't someone explain how and where to get the things in my country?

 

[noname37]

the main issue for me is people. if just had awhile to be alone and had enough money i would do it no hesitation. not even a second thought

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I'm in the same situation. I also have a lot of executive dysfunction as well as perpetual low energy levels. Additionally, life itself likes to keep me trapped by keeping me occupied with random bullshit like university and responsibilities though I don't really do these things anyway because of, well, low energy. I'm also stuck at home with family and they're my main obstacle for me being unable to ctb. By that, I mean that I'm unable to ctb because of how strict they are and I have no autonomy around them at all. If I did, I would just order SN and be dead already. Unfortunately I don't know how to overcome this and, in my case, I believe that I'm just destined to suffer for decades in this horrible existence. If somebody does know how to overcome this, please, please, please let me know because I can't tolerate spending even another second in this harsh, brutal existence